"I don't want to talk to anybody right now," I answered. There was a small click as the door handle was turned, and Brad entered my room. I lifted my head off my pillow slightly to watch him, otherwise not moving. Brad sat beside me and just looked at me for a moment.
"Will, I understand you're going through something rough right now. Indeed, as soon as I have some free time, I'm going into Tulsa to beat the crap out of that Hanson kid for upsetting you," he assured me, trying to provoke a smile out of me. It didn't work. Instead, he continued. "But in the meantime, Will, it's been two days and all you've done is mope. You need to move on. You're going back to Boston next week, so make the most out of the time you've got left here. Don't leave a bad memory behind, because you'll never want to come back to see me."
I cracked a slight smile at his worry. "Okay," I answered. Brad patted my shoulder and stood up.
"Okay, good. You can start by picking up the phone. It's Diana," he told me. I rolled over and picked up the phone on the bed table.
"Hello?" I greeted.
"Willow? Hi, it's Diana Hanson. How have you been? I haven't seen you for a few days," she answered. "Is Isaac keeping you all for himself?"
I cringed slightly at her words. "No, um… I've just been kind of busy," I answered.
"Oh well, that's too bad. Isaac or no, don't be a stranger to us," she insisted.
"Okay."
"Anyway, what I called for is to ask you a big favor. Mackie is coming home tomorrow, and Walker and I can't go get him, Taylor is going to be in Oklahoma City on a college tour, and Heavens if I know where Isaac is. He won't return my pages or my calls," she paused to take a breath. "What I'm trying to ask is-"
"If I could go get Mackie at the airport and bring him home?" I finished for her.
"Oh Willow, could you please?"
I smiled. "Sure, no problem."
"Oh, you're an angel! Really, you are. His plane is due in gate 12G at 8:30," she told me. I wrote down the information, and after Diana thanked me a few more times, we hung up.
"Willow!" he shrieked, squeezing me tightly. I squeezed him back, grinning widely. This was like picking my own little brother up, if I'd had one.
"Mackie! It's so good to see you. How was your trip?" I asked. He picked up his bag again and then took my hand before we started towards the baggage claim.
"Oh, I had a good time, but I missed my home. I even missed Zoë," he admitted. I smiled and laughed a little.
"Well, I'm sure she missed you too. I know that Zac is almost dying without you."
"Is he?"
"No, but he misses you," I answered. When we reached the baggage carousel, Mackie told me more about his trip as we waited for his suitcase to come around. We waited for a little while, as others came and grabbed their things, but his bag still didn't turn up.
"This is strange…" I commented, turning to look for a complaint desk.
"Ike!" Mackie yelled. Once again, he dropped his bag and took off. I turned just in time to see him run around the carousel, practically knocking a few people down. On the other side stood Isaac, a suitcase in hand. He greeted his little brother with an enthusiastic hug, then glanced over and made eye contact with me. I looked away nervously. Mackie and Isaac walked back over to me, and Ike grabbed the other bag. Mackie waved a little finger at me.
"You didn't tell me that Ike was here too," he scolded.
"She didn't know," Isaac answered, once again looking at me. I forced a smile and fixed an out of place hair on Mackie's head.
"Well, I guess this means Ike is going to take you home now. I'll see you later, okay?" I told him. Mackie pushed my hand away, but held onto it.
"You're not coming back with us?" he asked. I shook my head.
"No, I've got to go back to Chandler. But I promise to go see you soon though," I said. Mackie nodded and let go of my hand. I knelt down and gave him a little hug. "Welcome home."
I forced myself to look at Isaac once before walking away towards an exit, quickening my pace when I felt tears once again sting my eyes.
"Just like that," Ike repeated. Zac passed the ball to him. We continued to kick the ball in a triangle pattern, from brother to brother, as we stood in the backyard.
"And you say she's doing this for an internship? But she hasn't even started school yet!" I commented, my voice rising. Zac stopped the ball and looked over at me, annoy.
"Well, Taylor, maybe she's just anxious. Can you relate? Oh, no you can't, because you haven't even begun to apply to college. So shut up and leave Willow and her choices alone," he snapped. Ike and I both looked at each other, then at Zac.
"Dude, what's up with you?" I asked.
"Nothing," Zac grumbled. He reeled back and pelted the soccer ball, sending it flying past Isaac and off into the trees. Isaac turned to run after the ball, but seemed to change his mind and stayed still. Zac walked over to the porch and sat on the bottom step, and I followed him. Isaac eventually wandered over and leaned against the railing of the porch beside Zac. We both watched him for a moment before he gave us nasty looks. "What? Stop looking at me."
"What's going on?" Ike asked.
"Nothing!" Zac insisted.
"School troubles?" I prodded.
"No."
"Friend troubles?"
"No."
"Girl troubles?"
"I'm not telling you, so leave me alone," Zac insisted, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Ike and I exchanged looks.
"Reagan's not talking to you, huh? Uh oh, what did you do now?" I asked. Zac didn't say anything at first, and then he sighed.
"I don't know what I did. I didn't do anything. She just doesn't want to talk to me, she won't return my calls, and she doesn't want to hang out," he answered finally. I cracked a smile.
"Did you disrupt her privacy too?" I joked. Isaac shot me a nasty look. Zac scoffed.
"No," he answered. He gave me a strange look and shook his head.
"Well, that problem seems to be going around lately," I said. Isaac rolled his eyes and shook his head, then pushed past us and into the house. Zac stood up and followed him, leaving me behind. I looked around, seeing nothing, and raised my hands in confusion. "What? What did I do?"
"Yes! Marc Conroy will be in the city that day, and he promised he'd pick me up at the airport," I told her. Marc, the man that I'd met at the Hanson family barbecue, had traveled back north about a week ago, and had kept in contact after he left. I was looking forward to getting to know him better, as he seemed like an extremely interesting person.
"Olive, calm down a bit. Will is a big girl now, I'm sure she can handle a plane ride," Brad insisted, giving me a wink. They both hugged me goodbye and watched me walk away towards the terminal. I hesitated just a little bit, something inside me wondering if I was doing the right thing by leaving when there were so many problems between Isaac and I. Maybe, just maybe, he'd come running through the crowd and sweep me off my feet, dismissing any problems we'd had before. I looked back at my brother and Olivia, and they waved. Still, no Isaac.
"Call us when you get home!" Olive called. I waved at her and disappeared down the walkway that lead to the plane that would take me home.
About two and a half hours later, I was back on Boston soil as the plane touched down in Logan Airport. I didn't see Marc when I got off the plane, so I headed downstairs to get my bags. To my surprise, a tall, dark haired man in a business suit was waiting there with my luggage, holding a sign with my name on it. I approached him curiously.
"Are you…" he paused, looking down at a piece of paper in his hands, "Willow?"
"Yes, that's me," I answered. He nodded, and picked up my larger suitcase.
"Mr. Conroy is waiting outside in the limousine," he informed me. My eyes widened. I wasn't expecting such a formal greeting. I picked up my other bag, and followed the man, whom I assumed to be the driver, towards the doors. Right outside was a black limo. The door opened and out stepped Marc. He greeted me with a smile and a hug.
"It is so nice to see you again," he told me, taking my bag from my hands. He put it in the trunk with the other bag that the driver had put there, then helped me into the limo. Moments later, we pulled away from the curb. "How was your flight?"
"Oh, it went fine," I answered, looking around in awe. The interior was huge. It seemed much too big and lonely for just two people. Marc gave the driver the address of my dormitory, and then settled back, stretching his legs out in front of him.
"So, are you up for a night out, or are you too tired?" he asked. I smiled.
"I'm up for anything," I answered honestly. He watched me for a minute.
"Is something bothering you?"
"No. I've just left a few things unfinished back at home," I answered. He continued to watch me, waiting for me to explain. "It's nothing, really. I don't want to bother you with my problems."
"No worry," he replied. He put his arm around my shoulder and gave me a gentle squeeze. "Whatever the problem, I'm sure it will get better."
"It has to. It can't get any worse."
"Tour?" I repeated uncertainly. My parents, my brothers and I were all sitting around our kitchen table, discussing our summer plans. My dad nodded.
"Yes. It's been a couple years since you guys did a US tour. What do you say we take the next 5 or 6 days and assemble a simple plan. It will be just a couple months. We'll be back by the beginning of September, mid month at the latest," he proposed. I looked around the table as Taylor and Isaac contemplated the idea.
"I don't see any problem with it," Ike answered. Taylor didn't look so certain.
"What about Megan? I can't just leave her and run around the country like that," he said. Mom and Dad looked at each other.
"Well, Tay, it will only be for a couple months. She can come with us if she wants to, but I'm sure that a summer away from each other will do you some good," Mom stated.
"Good? How can us being separated do us any good?" Tay asked.
"Well, it can test the strength of your relationship. In a way, this could be a blessing in disguise. It can help you realize things you never knew about your relationship," Dad explained. Taylor didn't look so sure, but he finally agreed.
"Okay, then a tour it is. But if I can't handle being away for 2 months, can Megan still join us?" he asked.
"Sure, I don't see why not."
I sat quietly throughout this, noticing that no one said anything about me being away from Reagan. I took my father's words to Taylor in context to my own relationship problem. Maybe if I just gave Reagan a couple of months, she'd stop acting so strange and realize that we belong together, not apart. I tuned back into the conversation just in time to be assigned the duty of helping design a stage set with Taylor, and helping decide on 15 tour cities in the continental US.
"Hey sweetie," she greeted. I blinked. "It's getting kinda hot out. Do you want some lemonade or ice water or something?"
"No," I replied. My mom stepped over to my desk and flipped through my math book, then leisurely walked over to the bed and leaned against the bedpost.
"What's going on?" she asked.
"Nothing."
"Oh come on, there's got to be more than that. 'Nothing' can't be keeping you inside moping on such a beautiful day," she said. She moved my feet and sat down on the end of the bed. "You don't talk to me that much anymore about things."
"Sorry," I told her.
"Why don't you tell me what's going on," she suggested. I sighed softly, really not feeling like talking to anybody. But, I figured, if I told her then she's leave me alone. I sat up and leaned against the headboard of my bed, hugging my knees to my chest. The tears that I'd held back for so long stung my eyes as I took a breath.
"Zac doesn't love me," I told her, my voice threatening to crack.
"Oh honey." My mom patted my knee. "Did he tell you this?"
"No," I sniffled. "He didn't have to. I got the picture."
"If he didn't come right out and say it, then why do you think that he doesn't love you?" she asked.
"Because," I said, as if the word explained everything. I looked over at the stars on the wall, blinking quickly to keep myself from crying. "Did you know that the Hanson's have new neighbors?"
My mom looked confused. "No, I didn't. What does that have to do with you and Zac?"
I looked at her again. "The neighbors have a teenage daughter."
"Ohh," mom said softly. "So that's it. You think Zac likes this other girl."
"I don't think anything. I know what they're doing. I was there when she stopped by to thank him for the wonderful tour of the neighborhood that he gave her," I said bitterly. "And I saw them together in the Hanson's driveway. He had his arms around her."
My tears spilled over onto my cheeks, and my mother leaned forward to give me a hug.
"Oh honey, I think you should talk to Zac about this," she said softly. I shook my head stubbornly.
"I don't want to talk to him," I insisted. "I don't want to know him anymore. He's such a typical rock star. I wish I'd never met him in the first place."
"Now Reagan, you don't really mean that, do you?" mom asked, holding me away at arms length and looking directly at me. I nodded, but my body betrayed me and more tears fell. She hugged me again, and I rested my head on her shoulder.
"Why did I have to go and let him break my heart?" I whispered softly.
"Are you guys even listening to me?" Taylor demanded, grabbing a bottled water from the fridge in the dressing room. Zac lifted his tired eyes to look at our brother.
"Yes, Tay, the crowd is great. They're giving a great response. We've already done an encore. Let's just change, meet some fans, and go back to the hotel. I'm too tired for anything else," he said. I snapped out of my own self-misery to listen to Zac, watching him intently. His brown eyes were tired, and he moved about the room in a weary fashion. Whatever I'd taken to be little relationship problems with him and Reagan were taking their toll on him.
"Zac?" I asked. He blinked a few times, and looked at me expectantly. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, Ike. I'm fine. I just want to go to sleep," he answered. I looked over at Tay, who was in the midst of picking out a new shirt from the rack of clothes.
"Let's get this over with quick, guys. I have a feeling that tonight is just not our night."
If only I'd known how right I was. After the meet and greet, we headed back to the hotel. Zac immediately fell into bed and was asleep before I'd even shut the suite door. Taylor claimed the telephone and locked himself in his room, most likely calling Tulsa to talk to Megan. We'd only been gone for a week, and he'd already run up a double-digit phone bill.
I was too restless to stay cooped up in the room, so I left a note for my brothers and went out for a walk. I found myself walking through the Boston Public Gardens, not feeling an ounce of anxiety despite the fact that it was nearly midnight and I was wandering around a strange city. Soon, I reached a little market place and a street full of stores. I sat down on a bench in a little park that faced the street of stores and restaurants, the white lights that draped the trees lighting the area around me. I sat there for nearly an hour, just thinking about things. Like I'd done many times before, I thought about my brothers and my family, my music, a new song I'd been working on and, ultimately, Willow. My thoughts traveled back to the day I'd confronted her about leaving Tulsa, and mentally cursed myself for getting so wound up that day. Why didn't I ever think before speaking? Would Willow ever forgive me for doing what I did? Would I ever forgive her?
My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a group of people exiting a restaurant across from me. Oblivious to my presence, the group crossed the street and approached me. I kept quiet and tried to ignore them. When they were almost past, a man with dark hair stopped and cursed at his lighter, having failed an attempt at lighting a cigarette. He glanced over at me.
"Do you have a light?" he asked, his voice thick with a foreign accent. I shook my head.
"No, sorry," I responded. The man shrugged and rejoined the group. I watched them walk away, but one person turned and lagged behind. The figured was hidden in shadows, but my eyes grew when the person stepped into the light.
"Isaac?" she asked. I stood up, but didn't move towards her. It was as if she appeared from my thoughts. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I didn't know what to say. I stood there, dumbfounded, just staring at her as she stared back at me.
"Willow? Are you coming or not?" someone called from the group of people she had departed from. She continued looking at me, not daring to look away.
"I'll meet up with you," she called back. Her friends walked further away, their voices growing more and more faint until I could no longer hear them. The air around me suddenly grew chilly, and I shivered a little, tugging the sleeves of my long sleeved shirt down over my hands.
"What are you doing here?" she asked.
"Tour," I told her. She finally averted her eyes away from my face and looked down at her feet. I took this time to look examine her more closely. Four weeks apart had only made her more beautiful in my eyes. Wait, what was I thinking? I was mad at her. She kept secrets from me, she left me. I couldn't just let her win.
"Oh, right. I heard that you guys were in town," Will said awkwardly. "How are Zac and Tay?"
"Fine," I mumbled, getting over the initial shock of seeing her and returning to my usual desolate self. Willow moved to sit on the bench and looked up at me, as if half expecting me to sit also. I kept standing.
"How are you doing?"
"I'm fine," I answered, continuing with my short answers. Will sighed a little, and I expected her to give up on conversation. I was wrong.
"Isaac, I know you're still upset with me. But I don't think you're being fair. You snooped through my things. How am I supposed to trust you now?" she started. My eyes widened. Was she really getting into this, right here in the middle of public? Sure, it was in the middle of the night, but still…
"What? I'm not being fair? I think you're a little confused." My voice raised a little. You-"
Willow held up a hand to stop me. "Please, Isaac, I don't want to argue with you. I didn't stay here to fight."
"Why did you stay then? Please, do enlighten me," I stated. I sat down in a huff, and avoided her persisting look.
"What are we going to do?" she asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Ike, you were my best friend. I can't just get over that in the snap of a finger. I don't want to loose you as a friend. We need to fix this."
"Why do women assume that things always need fixing?" I retorted, not recognizing the sound of my own voice. Willow looked hurt.
"I didn't assume, I just-"
"No, don't try to change it. You always think that talking things to death will fix problems. Talking just makes things more complicated. We had a fight. We broke up, or whatever. Just leave it at that. No complications."
Her look changed to one of incredulity. She didn't say anything at first, but rather looked away and up at the sky. I looked away also, glaring at a neon Open sign hanging in a bar window. I heard Willow take a few quick breaths. When she spoke, her voice sounded strained, like she was fighting a loosing battle for control over her senses. "Who are you? I don't recognize you anymore. You're not the same Isaac Hanson I once knew. What happened to the Isaac Hanson who would have supported me and my decisions for my future? The one who would do anything to help me. The one who loved me."
"He opened his eyes," I said quietly. I made myself look back over at her, and she was watching me. Her eyes suddenly filled with tears, and I realized that once again I hadn't thought before I spoke. I wanted to do something, to say something to undo what I had just said, but the damage had been done.
"I'm sorry," she said, standing up. She looked up again into the cloudless, starry night. "I'm sorry for your ignorance, and for the fact that we're loosing a great thing. But I'm not sorry for loving you. To think that I spent so much time wishing that you actually loved me back."
She laughed lightly at her words, then shook her head and looked back at me. "To think that I almost slept with you that night. Would this be happening if I did? Or would it make this any easier?"
I couldn't answer her. I didn't want to think about that. We looked at each other for a moment before she nodded. "That's what I thought." She stepped toward me and leaned down, brushing her lips against my cheek. I closed my eyes. "Take it easy, Isaac. Don't work too hard."
And just like that, she was gone.
Installment Five
Installment Seven
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