Apr 2001 |
Signs that You have been
Studying too hard the Past Year |
| 10. |
You're contemplating on which
6:30 pm telenovela is more post-modernist. |
| 9. |
You discuss Levinas at
home--to your dogs. |
| 8. |
Your mother throws you out of
the kitchen because you insist on being accurate to the third decimal place when helping
her out with the ingredients while she cooks. |
| 7. |
You've taken apart your
television and figure out where the electric and magnetic fields of the CRT go. |
| 6. |
You have a periodic table for
a poster in your room. |
| 5. |
You insist that the ice tea
will taste better if you add 500 mg mixture of citric acid, fructose and whatever other
compounds you've found out that's in your regular, over the counter, freeze-dried orange
drink. |
| 4. |
You go to the local resort and
say "Will you smell all that chloride?" while your companions note the sea
spray. |
| 3. |
You unconsciously packed your
desktop computer just before leaving for the resort. |
| 2. |
You feel guilty when you're
not doing something. |
| 1. |
You bring a book to the
poolside--a textbook. |
Mar 2001 |
Finals Week Afflictions |
| 10. |
Being unusually calm. |
| 9. |
Brings whole desktop computing
system to school and wonders why he did it in the first place. |
| 8. |
Shows up in the classroom and
is surprised and claims has absolutely no idea how he got there. |
| 7. |
Wears long sleeves and a tie
all week just to be safe. |
| 6. |
Hunting down the students
exempted from taking the finals. |
| 5. |
Dreaming in C code. |
| 4. |
When asked "how are
you?", answers "the post-modernist view of the human person actually considers
that person in his diminished freedom..." or whatever philo crap he spews out. |
| 3. |
Screaming chemical structures
upon waking up from a bad dream. |
| 2. |
Actually getting some
sleep--while walking to school. |
| 1. |
One word: SURVIVOR |
Feb 2001 |
Signs of Love-struck Chem
Majors |
| 10. |
Angst levels in the building
are way over the charts. |
| 9. |
A sudden interest in pheromone
research. |
| 8. |
Chocolates in the department
fridge. |
| 7. |
Instead of the usual
"oh-geez-I-have-so-much-studying-to-do" blabber, you here them either singing or
babbling "oh-geez-I-have-so-much-catching-
up-to-do-with-my-non-existent-social-and-love-life-because-I-spent-most-
of-my-life-studying." |
| 6. |
Hearts on the lab equipment
logbook. |
| 5. |
Glassy eyes--no, wait; they
always have glassy eyes--even when not in love. |
| 4. |
Using pick-up lines such as,
"Hey, wanna find out if there's chemistry between us?" |
| 3. |
They're in a good mood. |
| 2. |
The department chair issuing a
memo for the occupants in the building to be more careful while handling or transporting
hazardous substances. |
| 1. |
Crazier than usual demeanor. |
Jan 2001 |
New Year's Resolutions |
| 10. |
Never to attempt to blow up
the building again. |
| 9. |
Not to mess around with [and
sniff] my solvents. |
| 8. |
Learn to use those danged
Mettler balances. |
| 7. |
Stop using the department
network for downloading Animé. |
| 6. |
Submit lab reports,
assignments and other take home work on time. |
| 5. |
Stop playing with the
reagents. |
| 4. |
Actually study for a test
before it's too late. |
| 3. |
Stop picking on the poor
freshmen and bio majors. |
| 2. |
Never cram again. |
| 1. |
Get a boyfriend/girlfriend
before I graduate. |
Dec 2000 |
Holiday Treats from Chem Majors
You Should be Wary of |
| 10. |
A gift that ticks. |
| 9. |
Anything homemade. |
| 8. |
[Customized] fireworks for New
Year. |
| 7. |
Invitations to dinner. |
| 6. |
Wine whose name you haven't
heard of before. |
| 5. |
Fruitcake--wait, you should be
wary of fruitcake even if it's not from a chem major. |
| 4. |
Offers of help during holiday
preparations that will involve them being in the kitchen. |
| 3. |
The punch--and we're not
talking about gin here. |
| 2. |
Anything that has to go into
your mouth. |
| 1. |
They give out treats? Since
when? |
