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Top Ten)


Nov 2000

Reasons why All Saint's Day in the Philippines is better than Thanksgiving in the US
10. You're not obliged to serve turkey, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie to your family and they can't complain if you just hand them out kornik and kropek.
9. You get to hang out in the cemetary.
8. There's no football here so you won't miss anything if you go to the cemetary.
7. Family reunions--deceased members included.
6. You think you're in Lollapalooza when you reach the cemetary except that instead of rock and roll, you hear cheesy, bakya music, Britney Spears, the current hits remade into dance tunes or some drunk man singing off-key to a karaoke song.
5. Collecting candle drops so you can either sell them or use them to wax your floor.
4. We have none of that "I'm so thankful for yada-yada-yada" crap those crappy Americans are so full of; heck Erap's already a handful.
3. You get to hit on girls/guys in the cemetary and people won't think you're some sort of sick weirdo.
2. You've always wanted to have a picnic in an exotic place, well here's your chance; the local memorial park's waiting for you.
1. You don't have to be actually thankful for anything.

Oct 2000

Things you should do during sembreak
10. NOT study.
9. Wish you could go outside the country like your other friends.
8. Go home to the province, for crying out loud.
7. Have a BBQ party with your friends using your old papers to feed the grill.
6. Have fun as much as you can squeeze into three weeks and enjoy all of them before they're all over--no, wait; make that two weeks.
5. Clean your room and de-infest your room of dust bunnies like your mom has told you all sem.
4. Reinstall the games on your computer.
3. That TAE-BO thing that everybody's been talking about.
2. Sleep, eat, drink, watch TV and be merry for once in your sorry, miserable, pathetic, little life--oh, I'm sorry, that's my life.
1. Not get out of bed when you do wake up.

Sept 2000

Words of Encouragement
10. "Hey, at least the test only covers TEN chapters..."
9. "Look, there's still three free hours before you have to take your next test."
8. "At least you made it to a D."
7. "It's not so bad; only two-thirds of the class failed."
6. "Eight out of thirty isn't a bad survival rate."
5. "Great! You get to sleep for 20 minutes tonight."
4. "After being awake for 36 hours, I think I'm getting used to it by now."
3. "It's quiet  at 3 am; nothing will disturb you."
2. "It's only 15 points per item, not thirty."

"The deadline's been extended to a week after the finals; you have more time to work on your project."

Aug 2000

Causes of the Chem Major Mortality Rate
10. Just found out it's prohibited to manufacture your own drugs or explosives
9. Couldn't wait for computer engineering any longer
8. Wanted to take summer vacations and still graduate in four years
7. Home organization made it sound painful to be a chem major
6. Just couldn't handle not having a social life
5. Took a course in Marriage, Family and Vocation; it's all downhill from there
4. Very few romantic prospects
3. Wanted to remain sane during the transition into adulthood
2. Chemistry just didn't matter anymore
1. One word: Enlightenment

July 2000

Write-up entries chem major seniors would like to see last in Ęgis
10. "She has lab gowns to match the color of her reagents."
9. "Do you know all those blotches on the ceiling? ...never saw someone who could sleep while doing a reflux."
8. "He actually preferred NOT to use the fume hoods."
7. "...and we all thought glacial acetic acid could not be ingested!"
6. "His homicidal tendencies and short temper never did stop him from doing a thesis dealing with nitrates."
5. "She spent so much time with radioactive chemicals that she glows fluorescent green when she's exposed to UV light."
4. "She didn't seem to mind paying PhP 5,000+ for lab breakage."
3. "He's always liked fire."
2. "...I remember when it took ten of us to pry her off the NMR with a crowbar."
1. "He's a blockmate?!?"

June 2000

Things to look forward to the first sem
10. The new IDs?
9. Maybe the cute teachers will teach this sem
8. Nothing--after more than ten years in school, don't you think you would be fed up of studying by now?
7. New car stickers
6. Fifteen more, oh-so fun, happy-happy, joy-joy units of fun-filled, endless, enjoyable schoolwork!
5. Freshmen to taunt, scare and make fun of
4. Seeing non-science majors again
3. Getting held up in the morning by traffic--and you walk to school
2. As if five years were not enough, we're finally getting rid of the superseniors!
1. Five months that I have paid for more than PhP 30,000 just to deprive me of sleep, a social life, self-confidence and sanity

May 2000

Signs that it is too hot this summer
10. Bunsen burners, heating mantles and ovens in the labs are rendered unnecessary
9. Electricians don't use their soldering irons anymore
8. Meron lagoon becomes a swimming hole
7. Children play with asphalt instead of modeling clay
6. Wet ice sublimes
5. You lose half of your weight in water when you walk under the sun
4. Flatulent people burst into flames
3. Meals served in the caf are actually warm
2. Escaler Hall is hot
1. The chem building becomes smellier than usual because of the volatized chemicals

April 2000

Fun Things to Say Now that the Sem's Over
10. "That's it?"
8. "Vacation? It's been so long; I can't even remember..."
7. "Ha, ha! You'll have to kill me first before I move out of chem!!!"
6. "Is it safe to come out now?"
5. "Wow, I never knew a human being could go on for five months without sleep."
4. "No--must--finish--experiment."
3. "Relaxation? What's that? Nakakain ba 'yun?"
2. "Does my insurance cover this?"
1. "Life is pointless."

Mar 2000

Responses to Seminar Questions
10. "I didn't say 'Simon says ask questions....'"
9. "You're the doctor, you figure it out."
8. "And now, I will answer your question with a (brings out guitar) song."
7. "That's a question?!?"
6. "Why not?"
5. "I'm not sure; you'll just have to take my word for it."
4. "That's not even worth my time so I won't answer it."
3. "I invoke my right to remain silent."
2. "The answer's too abstract; I'll just use my telephatic powers to tell you the answer."
1. "I can answer your question but you have to realize that if I do, I will have to kill you."

Feb 2000

Rejected Seminar Topics
10. IR spectral studies of Group I ionic compounds
9. The many industrial applications of polymers
8. Establishing molecular order in amorphous silica-based compounds
7. Kinetic studies of non-spontaneous reactions
6. UV-VIS spectra of non-coordination and non-transition metal compounds
5. A complete chemical analysis of lambanog for properties that may have it serve as a replacement for fuel in ordinary gasoline engines
4. Steric hindrance in aliphatic carbon compounds
3. The wonderful world of linoleum
2. Geometry in molecules
1. Chemicals: syntheses and properties

Jan 2000

Reasons why the chem building was renovated
10. Trip lang.
9. What? Can't chemists enjoy a fresh look for their building every once in a while?!?
8. They're trying to spend the extra money they made, thanks to accident-prone chem lab students.
7. When the time comes, the chem building will turn into a giant robot manned by selected faculty members and students to protect mankind from evil space aliens who want to take over the earth.
6. The beings from the other side of the portal started complaining.
5. It's in preparation for the planned radioactivity lab that the chem department, in conjunction with the physics department, needs for their nuclear weapons--err, nuclear energy--research.
4. The fumes are making the wallpaper peel...wait there is no wallpaper.
3. The PIPAC people were picking on the chem building regulars and the locals have had enough.
2. Phychem students have banged their heads against the walls enough times already.
1. The administration finally approved the budget because they were afraid that the chem teachers may not be bluffing this time.

Dec 1999

Misconceptions about the chem building
10. There are absolutely no rats, roaches and other pests in it.
9. The second floor is used as a girl/boy watching deck.
8. Chem majors are plotting, not only graphs, but also to take over the world.
7. The air there drives people nuts.
6. It's not actually there, people just think it is.
5. There's an interdimensional gateway in one of the labs.
4. Students sniff the reagents to get a high.
3. They house biochemical weapons there.
2. The faculty are actually CIA operatives.
1. The occupants glow in the dark.

Aug 2000

Songs most applicable to chem majors
10. "It's All Been Done" (Barenaked Ladies) on seminars, projects and theses
9. "Alapaap" (Eraserheads) on toluene
8. "3 AM" (Matchbox 20) on chem graduate students
7. "Sakyan" (Sandwich) on doing overtime phychem lab
6. "Barely Breathing" (Duncan Shiek) on handling stuff involving poisonous fumes
5. "No Scrubs" (TLC) on washing glassware in quanti lab
4. "I'll Still Be Laughing" (Soul Asylum) on N2O
3. "I Will Survive" (Gloria Gaynor) on being a chem major
2. "Star" (Razorback) on inhaling ether
1. "Why Don't You Get a Job?" (The Offspring) on fresh chem graduates




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