Greetings. I'm Woohoo Wawazzat, a small facet of my online ..."personality" shall we say. This is my opinionated column and you're welcome to respond to me via email: jyogo@hotmail.com

I suppose I'll start with some background. I'm an old timer Ultima Online red flagged, macro freak murderer back a few years ago and heard in game that Verant actually released a "PvsP server" or two. Hauled arse to the local software shop and immediately bought the game. The game wasn't really worth playing without the ability to spank some kid in Kansas like we could do in UO. Now, it was officially Spanking Season.

After making a sad Halfling Rogue who got the Delete key after becoming KOS to his own guards (haha) and only being level 7, the Woo was born. It's been a hell of a ride. I came to the game assuming everyone on the server is an asshole (because in UO that's a fact), even my teammates but I liked the idea that there was some kind of "forced cooperation" coded into the game. How else do you get anything accomplished?

Wasn't too long before I started actually liking my usual murdering friends who we dubbed as the Fab Five and soon after, I found a spot in the starting lineup for the original Merciless Midgets. We murdered and murdered, all day and night. Yeah, we got a few spankings as well. In fact, most MMs didnt stay in the guild for more than 48 hours in the early days. After all, Tallon Zek was turning into what we know now as Light vs Dark and we weren't appreciated. But goddamn it was fun. The biggest assholes in the game were in my guild but I learned to like them. Kefkasetzer.. wow, remember this clown? Truly Merciless. Twerl Twiztedtyrant, there's a loser eh? Biggest whining turd I've ever met but then he gave me the most fun online I've ever had when we dinged 24 together and camped darkies in Lake Ratheter for 3 months.

And so, Norrath was intriguing. The biggest arses in the game are my guild mates but wow were they FUN. I realized of course that only the core of us were actually MM's as main characters and that most were just twinks who logged in an hour a night tops to PK and then go back to being their elf/human who'd be screaming in shouts that MM "sux" etc. Only made it more fascinating.

One day, Charmem and Zapem (as another name) just up and leave MM.. they were the brains (so to speak) of the guild and threw me the reigns. Apparently Charmem was CC'ed for a week by a rotating shift of Celestial Order scumballs in an official /guildwar ...and broke his spirit. I was torn; I really really liked Charmem and Zap... what to do? Up the ante.

We organized. We recruited like crazy. We had meetings for chrissakes.. We actually raided IN FORMATION. We traveled together, med'ed together, spanked arse together. Well, wasn't too long before the guild was filled with just third-primary characters and *true* assholes who CC'ed, BR'ed, and exploited other game issues. I'll bet most of MM were former players who we PKed repeatedly before but we welcomed them anyway. We were no longer hated by players for being PKer's, bank robbers.. we were hated for non-sportsmanlike conduct. This really sucked because most players we killed were forever sending us funny tells in anger for being mugged, I didn't want to believe any accusations of CCing etc.. and then my own soldiers asked me to "join in on the fun" as they were all CCing some poor wood elf in Freeport after finding his bind spot. I booted several midgets out of the guild, hoping to send a message to the guild that this wasn't the way we were going.

Boohoo and I just got pissed after that. Our funky bunch of murderers were ruining the whole Everquest experience for many. I'd get email from anon players that left the server for good because of some of the dumbshit our members did. Kinda hurts to get those emails. Yeah, maybe they *were* wussies. So what, I figured.. it would be different if we PK'ed players and they just couldn't handle that much.

It all pointed to one set of facts: The Merciless Midgets were full of major assholes. I was PKing side by side with players I couldn't stand anymore other than the handful of originals. It was like working with Army Reservists.. be all you can be, on the weekends. All the real soldiers were thinning out as far as regular MMs go.

A month later, I left the guild with hopes that Boohoo could possibly clean the guild's population cuz I just didn't have the patience. It got better, but doomed. MM was disbanded. Later formed again ..and again by others. Now with Charmem back in charge, things look brighter I see. Tempting to join the ranks again even.

That's all you get for now, the next installment will tell the tale of the Woohoo + KOTWR + and THA. Now... THAT was DRAMA in its FINEST form.

The Woo

Feeling froggy? Wanna leap? Flame me on this thread: CLICK HERE