Some time ago, when Tallon Zek was new, Boohoo and I decided to travel to Freeport to join the Dark Elf vs Human neverending war in East Commonlands. We figured this'll be fun... all kinds of targets! Spent the day smoking humans and dark elves alike. Chased out of EC by a band of angry humans led by some Russian guild named "Blood Legion (?) and we decided to scoot on back to safer hunting grounds and closer to home. So we hop on the ferry in East Freeport and excited about going home to Steamfont for a quick banking session.

Time out...for the first time, I see a fooking pair of Troll Warriors swim on the boat.. their names are Crul and Vnom.

"Boo! WTF is THIS crap.. two fatties just swam onboard da boat!"

Boo "uuhh they hungry?"

We're level 18 or just in that level range and I've got two trolls in PK range on my radar scope. On the one hand I'm happy as smeg that I get time to plan a mugging on these two slobs (I mean that with all due respect!) and notice that they are both blue to us. Well, on the other hand... I'm also a Troll Shaman on Vallon Zek and I know how much I hate to see falling fat bodies around me. In fact, my trollie gets more time than the Woo does at this point. The boat zones into OOT and I'm rubbing my hands together.. it's almost time to make our move.

I mean, these two trolls are up top in the First Class section and enjoying the view with me and Boo. No words are exchanged at this point. How dare they.

Ok, so we're waiting to get off this boat to formally introduce ourselves to these two guys when I get a tell from some Dorf in Celestial Order. We just finished a friggin guildwar with these clowns (who got smart and organized an alliance with THA after the second day and had us running around like chickens with our heads cut off). This Dorf is Mr. Roleplayer...

"Woohoo, you see these trolls?"

I'm a bit excited, heart rate going up... anticipating a nice fight (though they may be blue, I know trolls are some crazy PKers).. the smartass comes out.

Me: "No, thats my mother and uncle. Apologize."

Celestial Order Dorf: "Whatever, anyway, I've got my whole guild in Butcherblock and I'm aquiring more allies to come to the docks as well.. in case these two trolls want to visit our home in Faydwer. Can you get the MM's to join us? Put aside our differences and kill these two?"

The fooking NERVE of some people. And talk about OVERKILL. This is the same guild that camp corpsed three of my guildmates, one of whom was CC'ed for at least 3 days in an effort to have his corpse decay. It'll be a cold day in hell before I "assist" these clowns. I tell Boo whats going on and he's apparently AFK. Boo usually has some sort of insight I need.

Me: "Yeah, of course, I shall summon my bandits and meet your guild at the docks. You sure two guilds is enough to take out two pre-20 trolls?"

CO Clown: "Ok great, I've told my guild not to attack you guys, today we fight side by side and teach these children of Innurrok a lesson!!"

. o O (whatever, I worship Bertoxx for chrissakes)

You tell Crul, (maybe it was Vnom), "ok, got news for you.. ready?"

Venom or Crul said something about Creme Ub Gnome Soup and they were hungry. I spilled the news about how pretty much all of CO was in BB waiting on our arrival. We pull into BB and I run onto shore.. just out where the first two guards are posted outside the stone formation is ...no shit.. well over 40 friggin elves, gnomes, dorfs, *insert light race here* actually HIDING behind the wall and out of sight from the docks.

I run to a hut in the dock area.. there's at least 5 more lights inside there too. Amazing.

FOR TWO TROLLS!

I send Crul and Vnom a message that they just walked into Woodstock and it's probably not a good idea to "raid" Butcherblock today. It's almost like I'm playing my Vallon troll. Boo runs around, amazed at how many players are at the docks but clearly hiding from view from anyone at the docks/ship. I'm flabberghasted. Makes sense now though.. how many trolls were raiding Faydwer when the server was less than 4 months old? Not many.

Crul and Vnom decide not to make their tourist stop and head out on the round trip back to OOT.

All of a sudden, I'm thinking how neat it would have been to seen these guys buy the farm right there on the docks. Naw.. I'm never going to help CO do a friggin thing so they can exaggerate a 40 vs 2 fight. Fook 'em.

I'm talking with Boo about it and we're chillin' in Dagnor's when we realize that we actually miss being so close to trolls. Ha. So hell with it, we're going to go find them. Attack them or hang out with them, we didnt care which. We catch the next boat ride out and we go check the sirens area where Nerbilik (sp?) the HEHE meat troll is at.

Sure enough.. there's Crul and Vnom. In fact, I just dinged 19 and Crul is now green. Tempting.. but these guys are clearly trying to come up with a plan to kill Nerbilik for the quest in Grobb. Boo runs off and starts camping sirens.. trolls don't really impress the Boo all of a sudden.

I run and swim up to their rock, Nerbilik cant be more than a few paces away and I'm catching their conversation about who's going to "pull" him. I sit down and finally they see me, what to do? I offer my help.. haha. I remember getting smoked by Nerb as my own troll on Vallon, I'd love to see him fall.

Crul pulls Nerb and I throw in my pet. I think Vnom almost buys the farm before that happens. I can see Vnom's char animation during the fight constantly turning to see if I'm going to cast on him for a kill shot or something. The pull ends up a success and we sit down for a moment to share the sunset, two trolls and a gnome in the middle.. sitting on a 12 foot square rock and enjoying the rays.

Ahh. X Teaming. Noone would hear about this!

We promised each other to not tell our friends about this and kept those romantic (haha) moments to ourselves for ..what, almost a year? Many months later... I'm running around Southern Ro looking for dark elves to fondle and wham... who do I see coming over the hill full throttle? CRUL AND VNOM with swords blazing. SHIT.

Ahh, wait, Vnom is more than 8 lvls lower. It's just me and the Crulster. I'm Full Mana with my white con pet, Jabroni. Crul's time to die for his X Teaming moment in OOT with me and for corrupting my youth! We fight, I strafe like there's no tomorrow, patiently waiting for the moments to cast. No idea what he was using for a weapon but when he connected.. it meant a bub of health. Alas.. his lower level bites him in the ass.. my DoTs have drained his body's will.

During the fight, a lower level troll also in Army of Grobb, wearing some patchwork stops to see the action. With Crul down, he challenges me to a duel!

"joo kill me brudder AOG.. time fer joo tu die pinky!"

Bah. I totally respected that and should have given him his /duel. Instead I left the area with "Time for me to go before your disgusting guild shows up here."

Crul was my first troll to PK. Didn't really care for it, I'm a troll after all in a parallel universe (Vallon). Didn't even get to see him fall down go boom, the DoT finished him as he rounded a corner in Innothule Swamp.

Crul ends up presenting me with a Globe of Fear which the Woo still carries in a primary inventory slot to this day. Memories. Not that this story means shit to any of you, but to me it epitomized how enjoyable the game could be.

The Woo

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