A Tunnels and Trolls® play-by-post adventure run by khara_khang
Guys, I'm so completely sorry for not keeping up on things. I just got to Montreal about 2 1/2 weeks ago and it's been just madness moving in, starting my master's programme, etc. We just got the computer hooked up today, so just know that the game wasn't far from my mind, it's just that my mind was somewhat unavailable. I'll get about reading the back posts and have Jack pick up where he left off as best I can.
Hmm HMM!
<shrug> It happens.
Not to worry, khara has been giving Jack some pretty good one-liners as filler while you were gone. I'm not sure I'd call them quip-worthy though. ;)
What do you do?
"Hmmm...well, you know, I'm a great fan of having my options narrowed down. Smells like providence.... Yeah, I just made that up. I say, run like hell."
Of course, if we are being overrun by Gargoyles, then I'll instead go with Protective Pentagram, covering myself and Jax.
The problem I have with you using Protective Pentagram is that Jay was never taught it nor was the learning role-played. Yes, Jay paid for it, but he never really had time to learn it in the game. If you look in the Archives, you will find Ocullos was off doing other things, then ended up... um, dead.
(If I had more kremm, I'd cover more of you, but unfortunately, I can only cast it at 4th level. Sorry all.)
I don't find this weird "kremm" word in the rule book anywhere.
Not to worry, khara has been giving Jack some pretty good one-liners as filler while you were gone. I'm not sure I'd call them quip-worthy though. ;)
Oh, nothing gets by you, does it? <laughs> Obviously, you need to get out more!
Can I get a check on my current STR level?
So far Olvarin has summoned a Will-O-Wisp (1 STR), used Omnipotent Eye (1 STR) and cast Poor Baby to fully heal Shipy (23 CON => 13 STR). With no strength points regained (all of which have been cast in the last few minutes) that's 15 total STR used, giving you 6 STR left.
Quickly pleads with the others about their inaction, offering his help in any way possible as his eyes widen and wince at the sound of the Gargoyles taking flight and echoing throughout the great room. Shadows slip over the room in silent waves as the creatures advance like ominous black clouds moving across the sky. Down below lies their prey, waiting, watching through the great unseen darkness. The shadowed forms seem never-ending. They sport black, gray and greenish hides with maliciously red eyes, ivory white teeth and rending claws. Rubbery wings carry the large dog-faced creatures almost effortlessly.
The Gargoyles do not attack en masse; rather, just a few dive in a swooping attack. Sirina and Megol are the first victims: each are impaled by claws and snatched up out of the group, carried away in the span of a breath. They are there one second and gone the next. Sirina and Megol do fight back, each in their own way, but once they are carried away, dozens of other Gargoyles join the melee for the new food source, like vultures feeding on helpless prey. Any Gargoyles wounded by Sirina or Megol are consumed in the feeding frenzy as well.
The following is spoken in Gargoyle, and is gibberish to everyone else.
"Behold!" it taunts mid-flight, "The last Leprechaun in the whole house, and I have it."
"Dad says no teasing," it replies cheerfully.
It lands a good distance away from the party and ignores the other Gargoyle, who follows. It waves Megol's lifeless body and yells, "Nananana-na-na." It then dangles Megol's corpse above the other Gargoyle's face and yanks it away as it grabs for it. "Check out the smooth, mushy outside and crispety-crunchety inside."
"Dad says if you make me scream, you're dead meat."
"You wouldn't scream. If you did, you would have to share with the others."
The Gargoyle doesn't hesitate to take a deep breath and yell, "Daaad!" The one-eyed Gargoyle panics and rips the Leprechaun apart, handing part of Megol to his sibling.
A much larger Gargoyle lands next to them. It is angry. "Now what?"
"Never mind," it says sweetly, its mouth full of Leprechaun.
Other Gargoyles feed on Sirina before the Gargoyle carrying her ever lands. She is ripped apart in mid-flight, and each Gargoyle fights to stay aloft to grab some morsel of flesh from the screaming Sirina. Her shrill cries are blood-chilling and each of you can see and imagine the pain and horror of the moment, even as she is lifted up away into the darkness to be eaten.
"Yeesh! That had to hurt," he watches, shocked. "Have you decided on a plan for getting us out of here?"
"Plan A was to find them, kill the Mummy King, and not unleash hell on us, sending everyone back to square one. That would work if I could find the erase button."
"Mmhmm."
"Plan B: steer them in the wrong direction, 'cept I don't know which way that is."
"Mmhmm."
"I'm starting to look at Plan C."
"Which is?"
"Forget the whole thing and run like hell before they kill us." Martek recalls that he always seems to be dealing with extraordinarily powerful magicians of very questionable ethics.
"I don't believe it, the great Martek suggesting we flee. But that Gargoyle did make Shipy bleed, and it's making all of us shake like a sheep in Arkansas, so running like hell doesn't sound so bad," he grins. The adventuring fun is back in full force it seems.
Ebony kneels beside Shipy and begins applying pressure to his wounds, while at the same time demanding Martek tell them what they should do. It is a temporary fix, as Olvarin quickly passes the book and a Strength potion to Jay, kneels beside Shipy and casts the spell Poor Baby on the gravely wounded Hobbit.
"Give me the sword! Dammit, give it to me," demands the elder Hobbit.
Kazad motions for Jax to give the Hobbit the sword without actually speaking. With the axe he holds, he seems more than ready to remove Jax's arm, if need be.
Growing energies of power swirl around the sword like tiny lightning bugs around a light at night. The sword is in the process of rebuilding itself and grows in power with each passing moment that Jax holds it within his meaty grasp. Jax's question to Shipy goes unanswered, even as Shipy is healed, because he doesn't immediately regain consciousness.
Jay looks at the leather-bound tome titled, Dealing With Balrogs and Surviving as he casts Omniscient Eye. After he casts the spell, the book closes in front of him. Its nondescript brown leather glows brightly, then silver rune words appear on its cover in common:
"The Lords of Chaos are
The enemies of Logic,
The jugglers of Truth,
The molders of Fiction."
This reveals the book to be a fake, intended to lure someone into carrying the sword outside the temple and unleashing holy hell.
Martek, still kneeling, removes a coin from his pocket and tosses it onto the floor. Instantly, a portal is created as the coin disappears. A Gargoyle who dived just a little too close disappears through the portal.
"Look, all Humans and Orcs are basically stupid. Stupid! If you want them to know something, you've got to tell them! So tell them, Martek." Amroth leaps through the portal and disappears.
Martek sighs, watching the Gargoyles. "I know the sword can be held by a Hobbit without activating it. So theoretically you could give the sword to Shipy Sr. and he could drop it to the floor and stop the entire process. I don't know anything about the book. Never heard of it," he explains, his Cajun accent seemingly lost for the moment.
"Well, thanks for the show, but seeing as the Mummy King has met his comeuppance, my job is done here. I have a portal to Khazan waiting for anyone who wants to join me. There are other ways to escape, but all the other alternatives are worse. I really need to get a less dangerous job. Gotta go." Martek moves into the portal and disappears.
"Don't be a pig-headed Orc, give me the sword! If you don't, your pooch is screwed! You don't have to be the hero, you don't have to die, you just have to give up the sword. What the hell were you thinking even picking it up? Obviously, you weren't thinking."
"Obviously," he grumbles.
Opening his eyes, Shipy shouts, "NO! Don't give it to him, give it to me!"
What do you do?
Hilda, the swamp beauty awaits Taran's answer.
"What, are you too shy to give me a kiss? I think shy is sexy, you know!" Hilda's large yellowish green lips await Taran as she moves closer.
What do you do? Do you give Hilda a kiss and play nice? Do you try to escape and flee into the swamp? Do you draw a weapon and attempt to end her miserable life quickly?
"Jax, think about it. We came here in the first place to prevent Shipy Sr. from getting the sword and releasing the Balrog. Giving it to him would be betraying our entire purpose here. Give it to Shipy, and let him drop it, and let's get the hell out of here!"
But she has no more patience to wait for the others to act.
Hoping to make one less choice for Jax, she lunges at Shipy Sr. and tries to throw him into the portal.
If she's successful, she'll be jumping into the portal right after him.
Time seems to move at a dreadfully slow pace as Taran considers his options.
In other words, heh heh, my apologies for missing the last round! Hm, guess Taran should've cut off Jax's hand after all! Oh well, maybe Taran'll get a few A.P. for attempting a dramatic death scene.... Ack, on with the story....
Taran feels not even a smidgeon of monstrous affection for the swamp creature. She is goddess-awful ugly. Then again, so is he, he thinks with a tusk-filled smirk. "Hilda," he stammers, standing straight and tugging on his torso-armor piece like a good Starfleet Captain, "I, uh." He looks around the hut. Taran doesn't know where he is, when he is, or even how far from any semblance of civilization he is. Fleeing or even attacking her would most likely gain him nothing except solitude. And he considers being all alone in a swamp, with no knowledge of location or time, a bad thing. But, is it worse than a smooch with Hilda?
He steps forward. "Aehurm, ugh," he clears his throat audibly. "Hilda, we have been brought together by the Death Goddess. It would be... wrong for me not to accept the, uglhk, favor she has bestowed upon me by rescuing me from my... perilous... situation and bringing me, urgh, safe... to you." His eyes having drifted to the floor while he stammers, Taran quickly brings them back up to meet Hilda's with all the seriousness he can muster. "And, I am not a shy Orc."
Trusting the Death Goddess, Taran puckers his lips and hopes Her Swampiness will go easy on him. Anything has to be better than what would surely have been death by Balrog. That is, dying a second time at the hands of a different Balrog.
He hopes!
Quickly has quite nearly had it. He nocks another arrow to the string, (assuming he's still got one) and grits through his teeth: "SAVE me from big folk! Jax, if you can't drop the sword yourself, I'll sleepydart you and we'll dump you down the portal. If you can figure a more dignified way out of this, I'll hear it." He watches the Gargoyles carefully and will give the alarm if they start to make another pass, so the party will not be taken totally unawares again.
"Great Green Earth, I'm not getting paid enough for this!"
Revelations. Threats. Sacrifices. Honor. Doubt. And stupidity. Had the Fairy just offered to stuff him down the portal to Khazan, thus triggering the Balrog's release!? Frak, Fairies will be Fairies.
The whirlwind of Gargoyle attacks which he tries to fend off with the cursed sword that he cannot drop is only a harsh backdrop to the turmoil that rages inside Jax's jumbled brain. Suddenly too many people are dead, too many people want the sword, too many people are saying "Let's get the hell outta here," too many people want to prick him with "sleepydarts," and now Ebony is attacking the elder Hobbit. Add to all that the DEX hit he just suffered from the portal as it opened, and it's no wonder that Jax begins to panic.
But in the end, it is his good ol' Orcish instincts that cut through the fewmets and come to his rescue:
Kazad motions for Jax to give the Hobbit the sword without actually speaking. With the axe he holds, he seems more than ready to remove Jax's arm, if need be.
Nobody threatens a Dracon.
Begin Matrix-esque Bullet-Motion:
With his trademark swiftness, Jax thrusts the hilt of the Sword of Rahnian down at Shipy, while simultaneously flipping his vorpal scimitar out of his scabbard with his left hand. As Shipy pries the Blade of Doom from his right hand, Jax is already twirling his own sword around so that his right hand, once free, easily accepts the EverSharp™ blade, whose point now finds itself staring the dark man down.
End Bullet-Motion.
"Everybody in the portal," he commands, somewhat shakily facing Kazad. "Shipy," he says a little softer, "I sure hope you know what you're doing, little buddy."
Jax, knowing full well his gloves aid in "unopposed access to conjured demi-quasi-dimensional portals," hopes Martek's portal fits the bill, and stays until the last delver is through. He fights off any attacking Gargoyles as best he can.
Olvarin suddenly feels weak, as the price of the spells he has recently cast catches up with him. His adrenaline high is winding down, and he needs to rest a moment, leaning heavily on his staff.
Naturally it is during this moment that a storm of activity takes place. He hears Ebony exhort Jax to surrender the Balrog-possessed blade to Shippy [sic]. Good idea. Maybe a Halfling can take what the Orc cannot willingly relinquish. Then he hears Quickly's advice to jump into the portal. Olvarin doesn't know what to make of this, but then he isn't thinking very clearly at the moment.
Even so, he mostly snaps out of his daze as Ebony flies past him, lunging at Shippy Sr. in a flying tackle that threatens to carry the both of them into the portal. Startled by such a bold move, the Elf looks back towards the rest of the party in time to see Shippy [sic] grasp the Pirate Blade of Rahnian from Jax's hand. The Orc's scimitar dances in the air as he juggles it with a flourish into a guard position. Quickly continues hovering, ever alert, his Elfshot nocked and readied.
Whoops. Looks like combat.
"Everybody into the portal!"
Well, maybe not combat then. Not quite yet. There is the matter of the big swarthy man with the huge axe. He doesn't look happy with Ebony, Jax or anyone. Sighing, Olvarin makes a mental note to learn martial arts or something if he survives. All he can do is quietly ready the rope and grappling hook he is carrying. He is in no condition to fight, but if the dark man attacks, Olvarin will try to snare and entangle him. Could give our side the edge and all that.
"I'll wait here with you, Jax," Olvarin replies mildly. "If we all leave, there's nothing to keep yonder fellow from snatching up the blade himself, once he deals with Shippy [sic]. Besides, if the Gargoyles return for another victim, maybe they won't necessarily pick you or Shippy [sic]."
Ebony did not attack Shipy Sr. She tried to throw him into the portal. There was never any attempt to hurt him.
Just wanted to make that crystal clear.
And with that, she kneels by Shipy, and begins to put pressure on a few of the more gushing wounds.
"If we live through this, remind me to teach you Poor Baby or Restoration."
"Jay! Just the person I was thinking of!"
"I shudder to think why."
"Do you think we should join our forces to cast a Dear God spell to determine whether the bell in the Tower of Heroes is truly our salvation?"
"That would be a wonderful idea, but I don't know the spell, as I've intimated several times, and can't help."
Olvarin fishes in his pouch, and hands Jay his Strength potion. "So you won't be without the means to defend yourself after the spell. You can keep it even if you don't want to cast the divination," he adds by way of explanation.
"I'm touched. But you might need it a little bit more if you were asking for help with the spell." If Olvarin indicates agreement, I'll return it to him.
"Hmmm...well, you know, I'm a great fan of having my options narrowed down. Smells like providence.... Yeah, I just made that up. I say, run like hell."
"I'd agree."
The problem I have with you using Protective Pentagram is that Jay was never taught it nor was the learning role-played.
I went back and checked. Dern it, but you're right. I said I was going to look for him after an hour to learn the spell, but it looks like we never got together before the Mummy dragged away Shipppy [sic]. Ah well, serves me right for paying up front.
Change this then: if we're being overrun by Gargoyles, instead I shall try Hidey Hole (and that can cover more than just the two of us), but will more likely be torn to pieces. (Although this whole line of thought is being changed, due to the actions and information from the last GM post, so it really doesn't matter.) ;)
I don't find this weird "kremm" word in the rule book anywhere.
I'm sorry, I sneezed. Fortunately, that wasn't in quotes and was OOC. ;) I had forgotten you switched out this adventure from MYC to STR when I typed that. Oops.
Oh, nothing gets by you, does it?
I'm a tough audience.
Obviously, you need to get out more!
I'd agree, actually. Thank goodness I don't have cable.
The following is spoken in Gargoyle, and is gibberish to everyone else.
Ermm, does pidgin Wizard speech help? ;)
This reveals the book to be a fake, intended to lure someone into carrying the sword outside the temple and unleashing holy hell.
Jay will immediately inform the others of this, with an emphasis that hell is coming down on whomever carries the sword outside the temple. Hopefully it gets the attention of the others.
Instantly, a portal is created as the coin disappears. A Gargoyle who dived just a little too close disappears through the portal.
Amroth leaps through the portal and disappears.
Good luck with the Gargoyle.
"I know the sword can be held by a Hobbit without activating it."
"Then why didn't you tell us this earlier?!? We wouldn't be in this fix if either you or whoever that moron that just jumped through the portal had bothered saying something. Why would you possibly have thought it would be better to keep this to yourself?!?"
"So theoretically you could give the sword to Shipy Sr. and he could drop it to the floor and stop the entire process."
Sounds like Jax can hand the sword to a Hobbit. That being the case, he isn't trapped here, although that doesn't mean it'll shut off either.
Hmm....
"NO! Don't give it to him, give it to me!"
And he's conscious too. Double hmm....
"Give it to Shipy, and let him drop it, and let's get the hell out of here!"
"Fine idea, but throw it if at all possible! It looks more likely that anyone who stays to recover it will be eaten by Gargoyles, and not leave the temple, especially if Martek or someone else can close the portal from the other side!"
"Jax, if you can't drop the sword yourself, I'll sleepydart you and we'll dump you down the portal."
"Quickly, don't! If the sword goes through the portal, we're probably lost. Shoot either the guy with the axe or Shippy Sr. [sic], so we can get them through the portal without the sword!"
"Great Green Earth, I'm not getting paid enough for this!"
At least you didn't pay anyone up front....
Revelations....
At that time, he wouldn't have been certain that the book was fake. Let the Archivist figure it out. ;)
Jax thrusts the hilt of the Sword of Rahnian down at Shipy.... As Shipy pries the Blade of Doom from his right hand....
If Jax was able to release the sword when he handed it to Shipppy [sic], great. If not, I'll try a Curses Foiled spell on it. If he succeeds in handing it off and it looks like the thing deactivates (although I don't know if that really matters or not, since the sword hasn't left the temple), great. If it looks like it's still going, then I'll try the Curses Foiled anyway.
"I'll wait here with you, Jax. If we all leave, there's nothing to keep yonder fellow from snatching up the blade himself, once he deals with Shipy."
"Unless Quickly manages to put him to sleep."
"Besides, if the Gargoyles return for another victim, maybe they won't necessarily pick you or Shipy."
"Yes, they might pick anyone else foolish enough to still be here. Go through the portal---there's no reason to martyr yourself unnecessarily."
What do you do?
In order: Curses Foiled on the sword if Jax can't let go or if it doesn't shut down when Shipppy [sic] grabs it. But if that goes off without a hitch, cast Rock-A-Bye on Shipppy's [sic] father or the guy with the axe if they aren't already pushed through the portal or asleep from an arrow.
If none of this is necessary, Jay will go through the portal, and prepare to fight the Gargoyle that already went through.
Ebony did not attack Shipy Sr. She tried to throw him into the portal. There was never any attempt to hurt him. Just wanted to make that crystal clear.
Seemed clear enough to me, although seeing Ebony make a diving tackle on a Hobbit could cause people to mistake it for an attack. Could be a good thing, actually: perhaps the guy with the axe will be distracted by that, and turn away from the sword for now?
"Then why didn't you tell us this earlier?!? We wouldn't be in this fix if either you or whoever that moron that just jumped through the portal had bothered saying something. Why would you possibly have thought it would be better to keep this to yourself?!?"
Evidently Martek operates in Swamp Rat Time, which isn't always synchronous with Delver Standard Time.
Revelations....
At that time, [Jax] wouldn't have been certain that the book was fake.
Correct. The Guardians of Continuity commend your attention to detail! Jax could instead be referring to Martek's better-late-than-never revelation of a Hobbit's unique immunity vis-à-vis the Blade and of his just-in-time opening of the portal to Khazan. Or maybe not. That's the problem with Orcs: you never really know what goes on in between their ears.
Seemed clear enough to me, although seeing Ebony make a diving tackle on a Hobbit could cause people to mistake it for an attack.
Exactly. It was clear from ebony_of_nightshade's post what Ebony intended to do, but Jax didn't read this post. All he saw was Ebony lunging for Shipy Sr., thus his conclusion. Nevertheless, her true intent would not seem to affect the actions of PCs who have observed her in action. No PC who may think her apparent belligerence unwarranted has attempted to come to Shipy Sr.'s aid.
Quickly, relieved, makes for the heights, and pops a dart at the big guy with the axe; if he hits, he switches his aim to cover Shipy Sr., rolling his eyes briefly in exasperation at Jay.
"Well of course I didn't mean dump the bloody sword in after him. I rather thought that if Jax couldn't let go of the blade of his own free will, we could put out his lights and then pry it off him. No threats, intended, Master Orc, but it looked to me like the blade might not let you drop it on your own. Now, how do we make sure nobody else decides to trot out of here with the blade?"
"Hell, this is all way to meta... meta... metafarcical? Metafuzzblustery? You know! Weird, yeah? Anyway folks, I'm totally outta here like Barnum & Bailey after the big top burned down.... Later!"
Not waiting for the results of any meta---uh, weird spells, Jack jumps through the portal hoping that Martek will have the spare Gargoyle well in hand by the time he gets to the other side.
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