A Metamorphosis Alpha® play-by-post adventure run by ghost_of_warden
[Exterior Shot: The camera turns, peering through the darkness of the jungle until a startling blue demonic face suddenly comes into view. The announcer has blue distinctive skin with horns protruding from the sides of his head. He holds a small video camera in one hand and is dressed in green jungle shorts and matching shirt.]
"Hello, I'm Chang Horrabliss, and welcome to another edition of Not-So-Smartline. Is it alive or just some dumb funny looking creepy plant that moves? That's our topic tonight. You're joining us live, via Warden's instant ship-wide video free feed, and we hope to give you, the viewer, a better insight into the intellect of a mutant plant.
"Are plants too violent for their own good? Most people would say, 'No, of course not, what kind of stupid question is that?'
"I did a little research and I discovered a startling thing: there was violence in the past, long before plants were invented." His voice gets deeper: "Fascinating, I know.
"Yeah, and wanna know something else? The Crusades, for instance. Tremendous violence there---many people killed. And the darned thing went on for thirty years. And this was all before mutant plants were invented!
"That's right, Not-So-Smartline uncovers these things. Well, to me, the hijinks of a few rampaging plant characters absolutely pale in comparison to the crippling emotional problems most Wardeneers run into every day. I'm referring to large muscular women, fear of being eaten, chocoholism, stuff like that."
[A large plant suddenly appears behind Chang Horrabliss and scoops him up like a BiffSnack™.]
"Ahhhhh! In closing, I should say, I guess one person can make a difference, but most of the time, they probably shouldn't. I'm Chang Horrabliss, and this was another edition of Not-So-Smartline. I'd like to alert our affiliates that we will be ending our show early tonight. Join us tomorrow, when our topic will be... the effectiveness of mutant plant digestive juices and escaping from the innards of a mutant plant aliiiiive!!!"
[Muunching sounds are heard.]
[Exterior Shot: the camera pulls back. Chang Horrabliss' horns remarkably stick out like Ted Koppel's ears. Fade to static at the last moment to keep the programming G-rated.]
This page updated: Mon Jan 09 14:22:27 2006
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