A Tunnels and Trolls® play-by-post adventure run by khara_khang
I am proud to present an original Maestro Assaf creation:
Lord of the Rings: The Musical! Copyright ©2002 Bernard Assaf
[We pick up the scene as the famous Hobbit Pirates of Penzance are about to walk off with Mabel and her sisters....]
"Hold, monsters! Ere your pirate caravanserai
Proceed, against our will, to wed us all,
Just bear in mind that we are Wards in Wizardry,
And father is a Major-Spellcaster!"
"We'd better pause, or danger may befall,
Their father is a Major-Spellcaster."
"Yes, yes; he is a Major-Spellcaster!"
"Yes, yes, I am a Major-Spellcaster!"
"For he is a Major-Spellcaster!"
"He is! Hurrah for the Major-Spellcaster!"
"And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Major-Spellcaster!"
"It is! Hurrah for the Major-Spellcaster!
Hurrah for the Major-Spellcaster!"
"I am the very model of a modern Major-Spellcaster,
I've information ancient Elfen, Middle Earth, and mithiril,
I know the kings of Gondor, and I quote the fights historical
From Gladden Fields to Moria, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I know all Gollum's riddles, both the simple and deceptical,
About the trollish fear of sun I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the One Ring's glowing Elfen runes."
"With many cheerful facts about the One Ring's glowing Elfen runes,
With many cheerful facts about the One Ring's glowing Elfen runes,
With many cheerful facts about the One Ring's glowing Elfen,
Elfen runes!"
"I'm very good at Dwarven lore and Lonely Mountain hidden locks;
I know the secret Mordor names and like to play with fireworks:
In short, in matters ancient Elfen, Middle Earth, and mithiril,
I am the very model of a modern Major-Spellcaster."
"In short, in matters ancient Elfen, Middle Earth, and mithiril,
He is the very model of a modern Major-Spellcaster."
"I know our mythic history, King Thorin's and Galadriel's;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a lovely taste for hobbit-meals,
I quote in elegaics all the crimes of Lonley Mountain's Drac,
Of Hobbiton I know the complete lin'age of Meriadoc;
I can tell undoubted Bagginses from Tooks, Proudfoots and Underhills,
I know the roaring chorus from the bears of one, Tom Bombadil!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And sing annoying songs from animated Hobbit's music score."
"And sing annoying songs from animated Hobbit's music score.
And sing annoying songs from animated Hobbit's music score,
And sing annoying songs from animated Hobbit's music, music score!"
"Then I can write a scroll of fire in ancient Mordor cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of old King Isildur's uniform:
In short, in matters ancient Elfen, Middle Earth, and mithiril,
I am the very model of a modern Major-Spellcaster."
"In short, in matters ancient Elfen, Middle Earth, and mithiril,
He is the very model of a modern Major-Spellcaster."
"In fact, when I know what is meant by "Numenor" and "Sauron's Eye",
When I can tell at sight a plain Old orc and scary "Uruk-Hai",
When such affairs as Balrogs and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "Where is Frodo at?"
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern wizardry,
When I know more of tactics than a Hobbit in a gunnery---
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy,
You'll say a better Major-Spellcaster has never sat a gee."
"You'll say a better Major-Spellcaster has never sat a gee,
You'll say a better Major-Spellcaster has never sat a gee,
You'll say a better Major-Spellcaster has never sat a, sat a gee!"
"For my ancient arcane knowledge, though I'm grumpy and a mystery,
Has only been brought dow-own to the Middle Ages One thru Three;
But still, in matters ancient Elfen, Middle Earth, and mithiril,
I am the very model of a modern Major-Spellcaster."
"But still, in matters ancient Elfen, Middle Earth and mithiril,
He is the very model of a modern Major-Spellcaster."
[The story continues with much singing and dancing and make-up.]
Whee!!!!
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