*Minifire has again made her way on stage, in front of closed curtians*
Mini: Well, the set has, more or less, been fixed.
Jennyanydots: Oh no, another 'more or less'?
Mini: Uh, yeah...See, the ship was actually made out of a lot of painted cardboard, but the paint ran when it got wet. Now it looks even worse then the ship Andy conjured up in the first place.
Andy: Hey, there's nothing wrong with my ship! It was just...a little unrealistic...
Poge: Just a little, Andy? You must still be on something...
Mini: *sighs* And so, once again, we return to 'The Kitty'.
*The curtains rise--again--to show several rather damp cats walking out of the river, a ship with all it's paint running down the side (but that's okay, because it's on fire and sinking) behind them. They are O'Connell, Evelyn, Jonathan, and the Warden*
Chloe: All our things...everything we had was on that ship. Our tools, our supplies, MY clothes!
Nova: Sure, complain about your clothes. Just like a human woman...
Typist: What did you just say?!
Nova: Who, me? Oh, I was just marveling at the selflessness of which all human woman possess, of course.
Typist: You better, or I'll make you sorry. Don't mess with Texas Woman.
*While Evelyn points out everything they DON'T have, Benny is busy pointing out something he does have*
Roady: Hey, O'Connell! Looks like I've got all the horses!
*Conda turns around and glares at Roady*
Conda: Hey, Benny! Looks like you're on the wrong side of the river!
*Roady looks at the stars, then kicks the sand and curses loudly. O'Connell smirks and leads his group off stage. Our scene changes, and Jonathan and O'Connell walk back on stage, Wing talking with a Arabic Camel Trader--shockingly, our adventurers have dry clothes*
Wing: It's just an illusion really. They look dry, but we're all still soaked...*shivers* Four! We only want four camels!
Conda: Just give the man his money, Jonathan.
Wing: *grumbles as he hands over the money* I can't believe the price of these flea bags...
Conda: *as he takes two 'camels'* We could've gotten them for free. All we had to do was give them your sister.
Wing: *as he take two 'camels'* Yes, awfully tempting, wasn't it?
*just then Chloe walks out of a trading shop wearing a black, tightly fitted, Bedouin dress...however, she's not as graceful as she could be, as there isn't a hole cut out for her tail*
Chloe: Hey! You'd be fidgeting too if YOUR tail was cramped up inside a stupid dress!
Typist: No I wouldn't...I don't have a tail. One of the things about being human, you see, is that you don't have a tail.
Lioness: Not much hair, either.
Nova: Not much of anything, really.
Typist: Hey! We've got brains!
Goldenfalcon: Yeah, and only a few of you have that much.
Tommi: Let's face it...You guys are the hairless equivalent to apes.
Typist: Now see here! I may not be the most agile of species, or the most furry, or the strongest, or the fastest, but I am a part
of the species whose minds had the ability to cure diseases such as Small Pox and Scarlet Fever. It was a human mind that
created the phone line, which would merge with a computer, also invented by a human, to make the internet, ALSO made by
humans! And it was a human, not a ape, not a dog, not a rat, not even a cat, that created the first car to run off of electricity!
*long pause as this information sinks into the felines minds* So there! Nah!
Poge: Uh...Well, that's nice and all, but did it ever occur to you that the electric car never would have had to be invented if it
wasn't for you humans?
Tommi: And isn't it your fault that the world is heating up, melting the ice caps?
Goldenfalcon: Have you ever realized that if it wasn't for your kind creator wars, hundreds of your own race wouldn't die
everyday?
Typist: Well...I never said we were,uh, you know....perfect...
*the scene changes again, this time with our four adventurers riding across the desert. Jonathan is complaining*
Wing: Never did like camels. Filthy beggars. They smell, they bite, they spit...Disgusting.
Tommi: Am not.
Typist: You aren't a camel.
Tommi: Oh, right....Well, neither are they!
Typist: *sighs* Just...sit somewhere you won't hurt yourself...
*Sandman attacks a chicken wing with his teeth, munches on it while flies buzz around his head, the spits out some grizzle. O'Connell watches*
Conda: Yeah, disgusting.
Chloe: Well, I think they're cute. *hugs her mounts neck*
Grizzly: Chloe thinks everything is cute.
Chloe: Do not! I think rats and hamsters look delicious.
Ryan: Could it be because they are?
Chloe: Yeah, that might have something to do with it.
WilyKit: I don't know...I think hamster are funny.
SlyKat: Turning people into hamsters is even funnier, though.
Nova: Feline humor. Gotta love it.
*We skip ahead, to just before dawn. Our heroes ride up to the edge of a sand dune and stop. Soon, Benny and the Americans, with their Egyptologist and two dozen diggers, ride up beside them and halt*
Roady: Good morning, my friend!
*Conda just nods. Then both Conda and Roady look out at the horizen*
FireBolt: Say, what exactly are we doin'?
Roady: Patience, you freakin' half breed, patience.
FB: THAT WAS UNCALLED FOR!
Roady: Yeah, well, the truth hurts!
*they start to advance on each other*
Typist: Woah, woah! Break it up, or I'm killing you both off, and being my characters, I can do that!
Tommi: Actually, they both die later on in the story.
Typist: Thank you for unvailing a part of the plot line...
Tommi: No problem. I think the best part is when Imhotep kills Daniels...That didn't look pleasant in the movie...
*The typist hog ties and gags Tommi and tosses her into a dark corner*
*Meanwhile, on stage...*
Tito: *looks over at Conda* First one to the city, O'Connell! Five hundred *underbreath* useless *raises voice* bucks!!
*Conda and Benny just stare at the horizen. Chloe and Wing start to look. Then the sun begins to rise*
Conda: Get ready.
Chloe: What for?
Conda: We're about to be shown the way.
*They all watch as, in the sun, the city of Hamunaptra is revealed. Everyone stares in wonder, until Daniels, Henderson, and Burns all yell out...*
FB, Tito, & Ryan: HEYA!!
*The Americans take off, running toward the city, their group right behind them. However, only seconds after the first three dart off, come Evelyn, O'Connell, Jonathan, and the Warden. They continue racing, O'Connell's camel coming next to Benny's, who then takes his whip and starts beating O'Connell with it. On the third strike, however, O'Connell grab the whip and uses it to pull Benny off his camel, and tumbling on to the sand. O'Connell speeds up, but as he does, Evelyn comes running by him. She smiles at him for a moment, then races by (singing 'Born to be Wild', which I really doubt is in the script). She then passes the front rider, Jonathan, who grins and yells as she speeds by..*
Wing: Go, Evey, go!
Typist: I know a term for that from Competitive Trail Riding...Oh, I remember! WHOOP AND RIDE! WHOOP AND RIDE!
Jag: *stares at the said Typist* Why am I not surprised...
*Chloe goes running into the city, and quickly out of site. It isn't soon, however, before she comes running back out*
Chloe: Quick, run, run! Go the other way!
Wing: Huh? Why, what's wrong??
Ryan: This isn't in the script...
Chloe: BARNEY'S IN THERE!!!
*everybody on stage screams and takes off running, while the audience screams just as loud and make a break for the doors,
except Demeter, who fainted. They scream again to discover them locked. As they do this, a large purple dinosaur comes out
of Hamunaptra singing*
Barney: I love you! You love me! We're a happy fam-i-ly!
*everyone backstage screams*
Nova: *hides behind Andy* Kill it, kill it!
Andy: *spins around to hide behind him* No, YOU kill it!
Typist: *trembling in fear* W-w-wh-who did this?! *looks at WilyKat, WilyKit, SlyKat, and SlyKit* Is this YOUR doing?!
Kat: No, not us! Our pranks are for fun...not torture! *covers his ears* Shut that thing up!!
Barney: With a great big hug, and a kiss from me to you!
Tommi: *whimpers in her little corner*
*finially, the purple dino is silenced when two or three large weapons are fire and it falls. Blazord and Solid Snake walk on
stage. Snake covers the dying dino as Blazord walks over to it and puts the "big gun", also known as the disintegrator (Guess what it does) to it's head*
Blazord: I here-by declare Dinosaur season open. *fires*
*not only does Barney's head go bye-bye, but it also takes out a good portion of the stage..and the floor beneath it...and part of the foundation, leaving a girant crater in the middle of the stage. Jellylorum screams*
Blazord: Um....oops.
Snake: Nice going, Blazord...Now the Typist is gonna kill you...
Blazord: No she wouldn't, I'm not her character....*looks at the Typist, who is gripping the steel chair so tightly her knuckles are white, her face is as red as it can get, and looks like an all-around ready to explode volcano* Ummm...Exit. Stage left even, or what's left of it. *darts off*
Snake: *laughs until he sees the typist looking at him* Hey, Blazord, wait up! *runs after him*
Typist: *after letting loose a string of words that cannot be repeted, she checks to make sure the creature is dead and wipes her head head* Whew...That was a close one. *looks at the
still panicked crowd* Ah, great. Looks like we gotta take an early break this time around.
Jag: To calm the audience down?
Typist: That...And to decapitate whoever's responsible for that thing.
Will the crowd ever recover from their trauma? Will the one responisble for Barney's appearence live to see tomorrow? Can you say "She sells sea shells by the sea shore" ten times fast? Find out in the next installment of "The Kitty"!
