|
|
CONTINUED
Part 5 Weathertop
SCENE CUTS TO THEM AT WEATHERTOP
STRIDER Dude, these were once the watch towers of AMAN SUL
FRODO ok?
PIPPIN Well, what are they now?
STRIDER Ugh.. I don't know. I'm the rugged male romantic, not a writer.
SCENE TO LATER THAT NIGHT, FRODO WAKES TO RAISED VOICES
FRODO Sam? What are you doing atop me?
SAM Huh? Oh, I'm very sorry Mr Frodo I was only trying to get a better view.
FRODO There is a rock right there, Sam.
PIPPIN nice crispy bacon!
FRODO Put it out you fools!
PIPPIN The bacon?
FRODO Yes! and the Fire!
FRODO STAMPS THE FIRE WITH HIT HOBBIT FEET, HIS FOOT CACTHES ON FIRE. A NAZ-GUL COMES BEHIND FRODO, BUT FRDODO KICKS SO VIOLENTLY THAT HE INCAPASITATES ALL OF THE NAZ-GUL.
STRIDER RUSHES IN THE SCENE
STRIDER Dude! Like thats not in the book!
FRODO'S UPPER LEFT SHOULDER HAS BEEN STABBED IN THE CHAOS
FRODO My upper left shoulder is stabbed!
STRIDER A Morgul blade! Only else and stuff can heal this vicious wound.
Part 6 Rivendell
SCENE CUTS TO THE HOUSE OF ELROND
FRODO Where am I?
GANDALF You are in the house of ELROND. It is October the 24th, 1300 somehting T.A., 3:35PM., if you want to know.
FRODO I'd rather not know.
GANDALF Shut! It's for your own good! You died three times while ELROND was trying to save you, you owe him a debt of gratitude and a sexual favor.
SCENE CUTS TO FRODO AND BILBO
BILBO Here is my old sword STING and a MITHRIL COAT, now give me my Damn ring back! Gaaaah!
FRODO RECOILS
FODO Wha - ?!
BILBO TURNS HIS BACK AND WEEPS
BILBO I'm sorry I brought this upon you my boy...you should never have had to bear this burden.
FRODO It's--
BILBO Just kidding.
FRODO What?
BILBO Shut the hell up!
SCENE CUTS TO ARAGORN AND ARWEN HAVING PASSIONATE SEX. GREAT DETAIL.
SCENE THEN GOES TO THE SUMMONED COUNCIL
MANY HAVE GATHERED FROM GREAT DISTANCES, INCLUDING the Dwarves, Elves, hobbits, humans, SARUMAN, MR.SCHLABRA and GANDALF.
ELROND Greetings new friends, friends of old, and enemies.. Wait, Enemies?
SARUMAN AKA CHRISTOPHER LEE AND MR.SCHLABRA TURN INTO BATS, JOIN INTO ONE BAT AND FLY AWAY
ELROND Good. So. Let's decide what to do with the one Thing.
THEY PLAY 'SPIN THE BOTTLE' NINE TIMES TO DECIDE WHO THE FELLOWSHIP WILL BE, TEN IF YOU COUNT GIMLI'S DAD REFUSING TO GO BECAUSE HIS TESTICLES HURT
ELROND You shall be, the FELLOWSHIP of the THING.
GANDALF Great! Where are we going?
FRODO To Destroy The ONE Thing!!
GANDALF No.. no that's not it..
Part 7 The Fellowship travels
SCENE CUTS TO THE FELLOWSHIP RESTING ON A HILL
GIMLI If you ask me I'd say we were going the right way!
SILENCE EXCEPT FOR OTHERS ELSEWHERE
GANDALF ...? We shall go over CARAHDRAS!
LEGOLAS A bunch of bird spies of SARUMAN! Hide!
GANDALF Ha!
EVERYONE HIDES EXCEPT FOR GANDALF WHO BARE-ASS MOONS THE SPIES OF SARUMAN
SCENE CUTS TO A SNOWY LEDGE THAT THE COMPANY TRAVELS OVER. VERY SNOWY.
BOROMIR Lucky elf with your "special abilities", Boo boo HOO BOO!
SILENCE FOR A WHILE, EXCEPT FOR THE RAGING SNOW STORM
LEGOLAS ... What the hell is Your problem?
OFCOURSE, BOROMIR IS MAD BECAUSE HE CANNOT WALK ATOP MOUNDS OF SNOW SUCH AS LEGOLAS, AN ELF
LEGOLAS LISTENS
LEGOLAS There is a foul smell on the air!
GANDALF It's SARUMAN! He's trying to bring down the mountain!
SCENE CUTS TO SARUMAN SITTING ON TOILET SAYING A CURSE TO THE FELLOWSHIP WHILE ON THE TOILET, AT ISENGUARD
GANDALF BEGINS A SPELL
NEXT | BACK
|
|
