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What have I been watching lately?
That is always an intriguing question. Here is the latest!

Here's what I've seen so far this year:

Scary Movie 4 Not very good. This is the weakest of the parody franchise. Mostly spoofs War Of The Worlds and The Grudge. Not very funny really.
Slither not good. Just a gross-out rehash of Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. I heard it compared to Tremors but it doesn't even come close.
United 93 is an excellent re-creation of the events leading to the dissruption of the fourth plane attack on 9/11. A little hard to watch due to the topic but a good realization of the heroism of the passengers.
Poseidon not good at all. This total waste-of-time remake even removes what little story the original had.
X-Men: The Last Stand is wonderful. It takes risks, doesn't do what you expect. An excellent unfolding of an always surprising series.
Cars is a mildly amusing kid's cartoon. This is just another retread story (pun intended) but I really disliked the ending and I think most kids would be dissapointed also but their parents would shrug and accept it as a good lesson. That's a sure sign that a really bad philosophy is being smuggled in here.
Nacho Libre is a movie I should really like. I like Jack Black and I think I would love a parody of Mexican Wrestler movies. Unfortunately this one sucks! No story at all. None of the jokes are funny. Wow, what a dissapointment.
Over The Hedge is not bad. Plenty of cute animals envying the food that we humans fill the suburban dreamworld with. Goes in unexpected directions with clever observations. Good.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is excellent. Better than the first movie, this one is more of a showcase for Johnny Depp (and that's a good thing). Yes, there is a plot and it lives up to the standards of really good adventure stories. Although it's missing the great acting of Geoffrey Rush, it doesn't have the atrocious acting from Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightley that made me cringe in the first one. Contrary to the critics, this one does not suffer from "second film syndrome". I think the critics were drunk when they saw this.
Superman Returns is bad. The problem is not the acting, it's the screenplay. The actors do the best they can with what they have but that's not much. Spacey isn't given much of a role, Lois Lane is very drippy (a setback for her character) and the ill-considered plot has giant holes in it that should get the continuity person fired. Compare this to Batman Begins and realize how bad it really is!

Here's more I'm looking forward to this year:

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Wow, a movie from the quirky cartoon. Hmmm.
American McGhee's Alice Maybe another year's wait for this. Although there has NEVER been a good movie based on a video game, I'm still holding out hope for this.
The Passion Of The Clerks is now called Clerks II. I dunno, I've kind of lost faith in Kevin Smith lately. We'll see.
The DaVinci Code sounds lame to me, but it does have Tom Hanks in it now. I hope it surprises me.
Free Enterprise 2 is a sequel to an underrated comedy that focuses on a couple of geeks and what they do with their lives (the original featured Shatner).
Harry Potter & The Order Of The Phoenix was my favorite book in the series. This one isn't due until 2007.
Gamers looks like it could be this year's Napoleon Dynamite.
Kung Fu Hustle 2 promises to be a great follow up to a terrific film.
Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny is my favorite acoustic rockers in a real movie. Jack Black and Kyle Gass should bring down the house!
Trailer Park Boys Movie is a movie version of a very strange Canadian faux reality television show about brain dead dope-dealing criminal nitwits that reside in a Halifax trailer park. Somehow, it turns out to be hilarious!

Something really terrible is happening in Hollywood this year. I called last year "The Year Of The Crappy Remakes". Well, this year is the Year Of The Remakes 2! Much, much worse than last year. Hollywood has run out of ideas it seems and they think that remakes are the shortcut to easy money in spite of last years abysmal box office reciepts. There have been remakes in the past but never so many! I can list a few worthwile remakes but after recent events it is certain that Hollywood cannot handle them. Like overeager granny-tazing cops, they have proven that they cannot handle the tool. You can look forward to a summer of unnecessary remakes and sequels and tv-to-movie conversions that include the following (this is not a complete list):

The A-Team
All The King's Men
Aquamarine is actually Splash.
Back To School
Bambi II
Basic Instinct 2
Baywatch
Big Momma's House 2
Blood Sucking Freaks II
Bring It On 3
Brother Bear II
Bubba Nosferatu
Casino Royale
Cats & Dogs 2
Charlotte's Web
Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things
Creature From The Black Lagoon
Creepshow
Daddy Day Camp
Deathrace 3000
Die Hard 4.0
Dr. Doolittle 3
Dorm Daze 2
Evil Dead
Fletch Won
The Fox An The Hound II
Foxy Brown
The Grudge 2
He-Man And The Masters Of The Universe
Highlander: The Source
Highlander: Vengeance
The Hills Have Eyes
Hollow Man 2
I Dream Of Jeannie
Ice Age 2
The Incredible Shrinking Man
Jackass: The Movie 2
Johnny Bravo
Knight Rider
The Lavendar Hill Mob
Like Mike 2
Miami Vice
Mission Impossible 3
Mortal Kombat 3
Mr. Lucky
Mrs. Doubtfire 2
The Munsters
The Net 2.0
Night Of The Living Dead 3D
Oh God!
The Omen
Pirahna
Police Academy in 2007
Porky's
Poseidon
The Punisher 2
Race With The Devil
Rambo IV
Reno 911
Road House 2
Rock N Roll High School
Rocky Balboa
The Santa Clause 3
The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty
The Shaggy Dog
She's The Man is a remake of Just One of the Guys
Strangers On A Train
Sunset Boulevard
Ten Commandments: The Musical
Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
Van Wilder 2
The Warriors
What The Bleep? 2
When A Stranger Calls
When Worlds Collide
The Wild Bunch
Young Hannibal

Hollywood must be stopped! Please, STOP THE REMAKES!

To see my pick of the best movies of past years see Steve's Oscars.
    To see my commentary about last year's movies:
    OLD STUFF
    I don't usually rate television shows in the same category as movies because the quality is usually much lower but here are my
    RECENT TV INTERESTS

  • Harvey Birdman

    • The Cartoon Network has finally made new episodes of this weird cartoon. It's the old cartoon heroes you remember in hilarious new situations. Very irreverent.

  • Good Eats with Alton Brown

    • The Food Network has a great show with this McGyver-type fellah, kind of a Mr. Wizard of food. He shows all the science behind good cooking.

  • I'm With Busey

    • Gary Busey is a complete freak. More than you ever suspected. Comedy Central made a reality show out of his antics as he tries to mentor an apprentice nut.

  • Mail Call with R. Lee Ermey

    • The brash drill seargent from Full Metal Jacket tells you everything you ever wanted to know about the military..

  • Penn & Teller: Bullshit!

    • Showtime has the balls to put on this controversial series. Color me impressed. Penn & Teller show the world that the emperor has no clothes when they debunk esp, alien abductions, spirit communication and a whole bag of nutty ideas. Just what we needed.

  • Monk

    • This excellent quirky mystery show from USA Network is great. Tony Shalhoub (the taxicab driver from Wings, also the engineer in Galaxy Quest) plays an obsessive compulsive detective who sees details that other people miss. It reminds me a lot of an obscure little series called Probe

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