2005 MOVIE ADVENTURES
Old reviews and expectations I had last year.

There have been some very good movies in 2005 despite a slow start and big downturn in theater attendance (which I attribute mostly to a big drought in studio promotional budgets, more than an audience revolt of high box office pricing. Although Hollywood stupidity hasn't helped matters, including bad offerings that have branded this "the year of the crappy remake". Still, I have had to save all my pennies to see the great movies this year with even more on the horizon. I've already seen:

2005 The Ring Two I loved The Ring but this one just wasn't as scary. I suppose already knowing the back story made me feel less involved. Sin City We have a winner! I was already a fan of this outstanding Frank Miller comic. Horribly brutal villany is met with equally brutal heroism in these congruent tales set in the ultra violent Basin City. A comic film noir feel is maintained with the black and white and partial color. Strong performances of the courageous characters leave a lasting impression. Especially Mickey Rourke's portrayal of Marv. This is easily Mickey Rourke's greatest performance ever! The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy Originally I had hoped this would do justice to the book and the great BBC miniseries. I'm sad to say it doesn't. There aren't very many laughs and the clever wit is absent in this treatment. Sam Rockwell's unusual characterization of Zaphod is really just the same half-stoned character from Galaxy Quest with a hint of GWB's accent thrown in. Mos Def is a poor Ford Prefect. The voice of the book segments are too few and never as clever as the old miniseries. Dissapointing. Kung Fu Hustle Although it was released last year, this film didn't make it to the US until this year. I couldn't wait to see this one and it was worth it! This hilarious over-the-top Hong Kong Kung Fu comedy was amazing. Not only were the fight scenes and wire work incredible and funny, the story was actually good and not easily predictable. My only complaint is that the soundtrack was not the rockin' sounds they showed us in the film's trailer. Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith How can I say I don't like this without Star Wars fans wanting to send me death threats? I loved the original trilogy but this second trilogy is not up to par and this final film does not redeem it. The dialogue is terrible and the acting is nothing to write home about. That pretty much leaves the special effects and I must admit that seeing this at the drive-in was not a good way to enjoy those. Lucas could have done so much more with this. I think Obi Wan should have had something going on with Padme and then the Darth/Obi Wan conflict could have really meant something. Reflections of King Arthur, allusions to the love triangle in the first trilogy, who knows how cool it could've been!? Oh Lucas, you fool! Cinderella Man Another winner for this year! I originally had this picked as one to watched when I said it "is a boxing movie, but it's bound to be a hopefully one since it's under directorship of Ron Howard. Stars Russell Crowe & Rene Zellweger." Sure enough. It's a huge inspiration. Crowe plays a boxer during the Depression who finds the heart to fight for himself and his family when employment dries up. A great tearjerker! Unleashed Jet Li shows some great kung fu in this quirky tale of a guy raised as a dog (sort of) and trained fighter (ie: collection thug) trying to cope with this abuse. Morgan Freeman seems a bit out of place and the story has some strange holes in it. (Maybe it's a translated Japanese screenplay). But as an offbeat action flick it's intriguing. Batman Begins Here it is, Batman fans. Finally THE great Batman film. Even better than the first Tim Burton Batman film (that's saying a lot)! A great story! Combines parts of Batman Year One, Year Two and Dark Knight Returns all unified to tell a story with continuity and a THEME. Great acting, great action but mostly a great story gel together in this artful interpretation of the Batman origin. Sky High A cute little family movie about the son of superhero "The Commander" and "Jetstream" going to a high school for superheroes. A great premise with some funny gags and great appearances by Bruce Campbell as Coach Boomer, Lynda Carter as Principal Powers, and a hilarious Kevin McDonald [Kids In The Hall] as the giant-headed Medula. Dave Foley [Kids In The Hall] is great as the former "All-American Boy" superhero sidekick, now teaching all the non-superhero kids how to be sidekicks. Decent story and of course, good acting from Kurt Russell, but unfortunately all the kid actors are largely forgetable. War Of The Worlds The marketing budgets seemed to dry up for movie promotion this year but they let a little hype flow for this entry in what has become known as the summer of remakes. I was never a fan of the original War Of The Worlds movie nor the boring HG Wells novel. Here they spruced it up with some decent special effects, some fair Tom Cruise acting and the pacing seems to move along ok. They've dumped the blatently religious scenes from the original but kept the dissapointing ending. I'm not any better for seeing this one. Charlie And The Chocolate Factory I was still nursing some serious wounds from the bruising I got when Tim Burton butchered The Planet Of The Apes. When I heard he was remaking one of my favorites, Willy Wonka, I said "here's another damn remake of a classic. But I guess I'll be forced too see if Tim Burton ruins another one." Well, it's not as bad as that but it brings nothing to the table either. The original was much much better than this, and although Johnny Depp is still a great actor, he had nothing over on Gene Wilder's amazing achievement. The story is pretty much identical to the original except for some crap Burton threw in that bogged down the story and ruined the ending with some tripe about why it's great to have a family even if they make you sleep in a room with no roof, have no money for food, stay bed-ridden when they're perfectly able to walk ... ah hell it is that bad...I'm bitter! Tim Burton sucks. The Aristocrats This film stretches the maximum duration an audience can remain laughing. My face hurt after seeing this terrific film. The title refers to the punchline of an extremely disgusting, raunchy joke that harks back to vaudeville days. The film explores the way different comedians tell the joke. The simple nature of it, provides for infinite variations from the different styles of the various comics. We gradually learn somethings about ourselves but mostly we have more fun then we thought we could. Too short and never boring (even though it's the same joke)! Man With The Screaming Brain I am a huge Bruce Campbell fan! That's why I'm so sad to say this movie isn't any good. It didn't have a real theater run and ahowed up quickly on the Scifi Channel. I thought this whould be a sure thing. The fabulous B-movie star back in his element under the directorship of Ted Raimi (Sam's brother). Sadly, it's no good. The humor doesn't work and the script shortcuts and loopholes are pathetic. The ideas aren't anything new and Bruce isn't really up to form but he doesn't have much to work with either. I guess we need Sam really, really bad. Hitch This is a lame Will Smith vehicle. Will is a "date doctor" who sets up Kevin James ("star" of the crappy sitcom, King Of Queens). Has all the trite "misunderstanding" comedy situations. Has a very immature approach to romantic relationships. Rachel found some charming elements in it but I can't fathom why. I hated it. Waste of time. Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire The best Harry Potter movie yet! The new director is really changing the style around. The character's personalities are coming out more. There are fewer plot-stopping landscape shots. No after-the-fact explanations of the plot's climax. No more post-post-climax "Gryffindor wins" scenes! The action and timing keeps flowing nicely. Can't wait for the next one. The Chronicles Of Narnia Lame CGI is the only driving force behind a muddled plot that's really just an allegory for Christianity. And it's not a good allegory at that! Terribly dissapointing waste of time. Crash I managed to see this before the Oscars awards. (It actually came out in 2004 but the Academy only acknowledges California release dates - silly ain't it?) Unfortunately I really didn't care for it. This seems to be ushering in a new batch of movies that depict acts of racism without actually saying anything. Simply portraying a controversy cannot sustitute for making a judgment and convincing a viewer. To show an outrage and not say anything further is to assume that values are self-evident and require no analysis or explanation. This is a sorry excuse for Naturalism.

I'm also really looking forward to see some of the movies due out soon:

Colour Me Kubrik is the quirky tale of a guy who impersonated Kubrik after his death on the set of Eyes Wide Shut. Stars John Malkovich!
Free Enterprise 2 is a sequel to an underrated comedy that focuses on a couple of geeks and what they do with their lives (the original featured Shatner).
The Green Hornet has Kevin Smith at the helm.
Harry Potter & The Goblet Of Fire continues the hit series.
Land Of The Dead is George Romero's long awaited entry back into the zombie genre. I thought it was supposed to be The Twilight Of The Dead?
Logan's Run is another remake of a great cheesy scifi classic. Is this really necessary?
Lone Wolf And Cub is an Americanization of the Japanese tale of a Ronin who wanders about with his infant son in a baby cart. Should be good.
The Passion Of The Clerks is Kevin Smith continuing the adventures of Jay & Silent Bob. Keep 'em coming Kevin.
Red Dwarf: The Movie is an adaptation of another BBC scifi comedy. I hope it's the same guys as the series.
Secret Life Of Walter Mitty is another remake. I loved the original Danny Kay comedy of a daydreaming bungler. This version will star Jim Carrey.
The Sixth Element is not a sequel to The Fifth Element. It's a cheesy story of another dimension starring Danny Elfman. Looks to be The Forbidden Zone 2.
Tenacious D In The Pick Of Destiny is my favorite acoustic rockers in a real movie. Jack Black and Kyle Gass should bring down the house!

To see my pick of the best movies of past years see Steve's Oscars.

What have I been watching lately?
That is always an intriguing question. Here is the old stuff!

RECENT DVD PURCHASES North By Northwest This is my favorite movie. Hitchcock's best. This is a really nice DVD transfer too. I'm really glad I finally got it. Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things This is a schlocky 70s horror movie that I've always wanted to see. Seemed like it would be very scary when I was a child. Now I seriously doubt that it will stand the test of time. Stay Tuned John Ritter gets zapped into tv land. I always enjoyed this and it was on sale. Shanghai Noon Yeah, I guess I'm a big Jackie Chan fan. Galaxy Quest Tim Allen is an actor in a tv scifi series who winds up in the real thing. I loved this clever movie. Lots of Star Trek parody here.

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