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32. 孩子的經歷 – 母親的創傷 A CHILD’S EXPERIENCE – THE MOTHER’S TRAUMA ( 馬來西亞華裔母親 Choy Soo Ngoh 的分享•中文譯本！) (English)
正當我忙於處理明天的講座及作最後的安排，
手袋裡的手提電話響起來。鄰居致電通知我，我的幼子發生了意外! 我突然開始心跳加速，
腦中不斷盤算着下一步應怎做。我問了最基本的問題 ── 他傷得嚴重嗎？ 是，他整塊臉都在 我 向同事吩咐打點明天要處理的事情。她說：「阿 Soo， 為什麼妳可以保持冷靜， 並清楚自己應該做什麼？」其實在我的腦海一點都不平靜， 我掙扎着，提醒自己「要旁觀見証， 要旁觀見証， 要冷靜」。手提電話再次響起。這次， 是我的大兒子， 他用充滿擔憂的聲線對我說:「媽媽， 我想你最好通知陳叔叔趕來醫院。」在這一刻， 我很難繼續保持鎮定。他一定是傷得很嚴重。我告訴大兒子走到錫呂.瑪塔吉女士的祭壇前去祈禱， 希望你的弟弟能夠安全獲救。 [ 編註：陳叔叔 Uncle Tan ( Ivan)是馬來西亞霎哈嘉羣集的領袖。 ] 我收拾好物品，並考慮要不要將行李袋都帶走， 行李袋裡準備了我在酒店住宿一晚的用品。從另一角度看， 我竟然還花時間去想無關重要的事情， 真有點可笑。沒有多加思索地， 我把所有東西收拾並帶走，在急忙中同事們再三保証明天的講座會順利進行， 並提醒我要小心駕駛! 我盡量小心駕駛， 但車子大部分時間以時速140公里從酒店向醫院飛馳。離開了酒店的停車場不久， 我致電陳叔叔並要求他盡快趕到醫院。 現在我的心跳稍為平伏， 但我的情緒開始浮現。我向錫呂.瑪塔吉女士祈禱， 並問：「為什麼又是他？ 他在這小小年紀，就已經經歷了2次意外： 1歲半的時候被熱水燙傷， 並危及性命；當他在酒店房內跑動， 不慎碰到玻璃嵌板而割傷前額。為什麼他要承受那麼多痛楚， 他總是純真的， 連眼裏都帶看微笑， 無憂無慮的── 一個完全可愛與純真的小孩。」我雙手放在呔盤上，不斷重複做很多次班丹， 並開始從心底深處哭泣起來。我陷入自己的情緒， 令我拒絕去承認做班丹時從掌心處產生出來的涼風。固執地， 我自圓其說地回想起鄰居的說話：「阿Soo，情況很差。」 快到達醫院時， 我勇敢地突然將車子轉向緊急車輛停泊處， 不理會醫護人員的叫喚， 立即趕到詢問處。他們說我的幼子正在X光部。 我走過去， 發現他就在那裡， 他如釋重負地看着我， 我也微笑和輕輕撫摸他腫了的右邊臉蛋兒。我的焦慮和擔心都蒸發了。 我扮演着一個完美，令人安慰的媽媽角色， 安撫和鼓勵他。 陳叔叔和KT姨都到達。 他們見他一切安好， 都如釋重負。陳叔叔如常地講出那標準語句：「不用擔心， 我們是受到保護的。」我肯定所有母親都會同意 「說時容易，做時難」。醫生報告說：「他沒有大礙， 沒有骨折， 可以回家了。」 「回家？ 你肯定嗎？ 醫生。你不用他留院接受觀察嗎？」我不能致信地問。 「沒有必要呀! 太太。」醫生回覆。 我只需明天帶他回來做ENT驗查及骨科醫生為他驗查盤骨。鄰居及同事紛紛致電給我， 連我的大老闆也致電慰問， 並提醒我兒子的健康比工作重要。然後， 我們回家。 事發時，幼子在足球賽完結後踏自行車回家。他為了閃避汽車， 沒有看清楚前方， 突然將自行車轉向， 於是迎頭碰上了一架16輪大貨車。鄰居目擊意外的發生，當他栩栩如生地詳述時， 我可以想像到那情景 ： 碰撞力把他拋開， 然後向前， 他的頭碰到貨車尾部的尖銳部份， 再跌倒在貨車的底下， 自行車被撞得扭曲。他也懷疑這個小男孩能否生存。 小男孩能獲救因為他是瑜珈士，受我們神聖的母親所保護， 那一晚上稍後的時間，當其他家人和我回想這次整個事件， 再次肯定奇蹟發生在我兒子身上， 我們要感謝錫呂•瑪塔吉的保護。 作為父母，每當遇上類似的情況， 我們要有意識地花點時間去給我們的孩子解釋清楚， 要他們知道有這些奇蹟會發生，因為我們受錫呂•瑪塔吉所保護。最好可以強調日常的靜坐和潔淨的重要性， 好使我們的孩子不會視這種祝福為理所當然， 甚至認不出這些是恩賜。 父母擔當了重要的角色， 要時常把一切正在發生的事， 包括在世界上， 在我們周圍， 在我們自身經驗當中，聯上霎哈嘉瑜珈裡所教導的道理和概念。這類分享和討論會幫助他們將霎哈嘉瑜珈連繫到日常生活裡。霎哈嘉瑜伽不只是參加集體、泡脚、提升靈量， 霎哈嘉瑜伽是我們生命裡的實相。 為了世人的平安和福祉，就讓我們繼續祈求我們神聖母親的關愛和賜福！ Jai Sri Mataji Choy Soo Ngoh 2002年3月
Amy 翻譯，Flora、Edwin 校訂
編註: 1. 原載2002年3號 (vol.13)
馬來西亞霎哈嘉瑜伽英文通訊
A CHILD’S EXPERIENCE – THE MOTHER’S TRAUMA
I was busy organizing the last minute arrangement for my Forum the next day when my hand phone rang in my handbag. My neighbour called to inform me that my younger son had an accident! My heart suddenly started to pound fast, my head racing for thoughts on what next to do. I asked the basic questions - was he badly hurt : Yes, the whole face was bloody and was vomiting blood; where was he : my neighbour’s driver has brought him to a hospital near my house and that I should be there fast!. I gave instructions to my colleague on what to do the next day. She said ‘Soo, how can you be so calmed and still know what to do.’ In my mind, I wasn’t calm at all and was struggling to remind ‘Be detached. Be detached. Remain calm’. My hand phone rang again. This time, it was my elder son who sounded worried and told me ‘Mama, I think you better called Uncle Tan to go to the hospital.’ It became more challenging to remain calm now. It must be very bad and I told him go to Sri Mataji’s altar and pray hard that your brother will be save.’ I packed my things and got caught to have to decide whether to bring my luggage bag meant for my overnight stay at the hotel. On hind sight, it was so silly to spend extra time to ponder. Grabbed everything without much thinking and rushed off amidst my colleagues’ reassurance that everything will be all right for the Forum and to drive carefully. My heart wasn’t pounding so fast now but my emotions were dwelling up. I prayed and asked Sri Mataji ‘Why him again. He already had 2 previous accidents in his young life - a life-threatening hot water scalding accident at 1 ½ years and a cut on his forehead when he ran into the glass panel in a hotel room. Why does he has to suffer so much pain when he was always the innocent one - smiling lovely in your eyes always without worries - a perfect loving, innocent child. I bandhaned many times physically with my hands on the wheel and started to weep from deep inside my heart. So attached was I to my emotions that I refused to acknowledge the cool vibrations coming from on my palms when I did the bandhans. Stubbornly, I rationalized by recalling my neighbour’s remark ‘It’s bad, Soo’. Upon reaching the hospital, I bravely swerved my car at the emergency parking lot, ignoring the callings from the attendant and rushed to inquire. They said he is in the X-Ray Department. I ran in and there he was, relieved to see me when I managed a smile and touched his big swollen right cheek My anxieties and worries evaporated and I played the perfect role of a comforting mother, soothing and encouraging him. Uncle Tan and Aunty KT arrived and was relieved that he was all right. As usual Uncle Tan’s standard remark was ‘Not need to worry, We are protected’. I am sure all mothers will agreed with me that it is easier said than done. The doctor reported that the results were all right, no broken bone was detected and that he could go home! ‘Go home, are you sure doc. Don’t you want to retain him for observation?’ I asked unbelievingly. ‘That’s not necessary, mdm’ was the doctor’s reply. I was to bring him back the next day for an examination with the ENT specialist and the surgeon to check on his pelvic bone. Calls from neighbours and colleagues were pouring in, even my big boss called to reassure me that my son’s health was more important than work. And off, we went home. Apparently, my son was cycling home after a football game from the field. He was avoiding a car and swerved his bicycle without looking in front and collided head on with a stationary 16-wheeler lorry. A neighbour who witnessed the mishap described it so vividly that I could imagine it happening - the impact flew him backward away from the lorry and then forward with his head hitting the sharp edge of the underside of the back of the lorry and landed him underneath the lorry. The bicycle was a wreck. He wondered whether that small boy could come out alive. Alive he was because he is a Yogi, protected by Our Divine Mother. Later that night, when my family recalled the whole episode, we reaffirmed that a miracle has happened to my son and we need to thank Sri Mataji for protecting him, As parents in such situations, we must consciously make efforts and time to relate and explain to our children that such miracles are possible because of The Protection we received from Sri Mataji. It would be good to emphasize that we need to continue our daily meditation and clearing so that our children do not take such Blessings for granted and many a time without even recognizing them. Parents play an important role to constantly to relate happenings around the world, around us, our own experiences, to the teachings and concepts in Sahaja Yoga. Such sharing and discussions help them relate Sahaj to their daily life and that Sahaja Yoga is not just about attending collective, foot soaking and raising Kundalini but Sahaja Yoga is Reality in our life. May we continue to ask for Our Divine Mother’s Attention and Blessings for the well-being of all in this world. Jai Sri Mataji Contributed by Choy Soo Ngoh (Malaysia) March 2002
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Footnotes:
1. This article was
first published in Malaysia for SY Newsletter Vol3 Mar 02.
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