Ok this isn't exactly a prank, and it isn't really
funny... fuck you we need more content on this
shit hole
hannible25: So Steve, you haven't updated in quite a while, mind telling me why?
Rage of the Mage: Well alex.....Funny story behind that didn't really fucking feel like doing it for a while. I mean really haven't you ever been typing and said....none of these bastards actually read this...why bother?
hannible25: what about your three loyal fans who really enjoy reading you're posts?
Rage of the Mage: you, Sean, and CJ?
hannible25: I was referring to me, ninja, and kyle,but I suppose they stop by every once in a while
Rage of the Mage: let me answer that question with one simple word.... make that one simple sentence there's no gain in it. Sure I can entertain a ninja who wears a t-shirt as a mask. And sure I can entertain a trailer trash flunkie who has a toaster rigged for DSL. But I really don't get anything other than Carpal Tunnel, and occasionally "love packages" from the ninja.*Love packages - Poisoned rice balls.....very obvious too...he just pours rid-x on them
hannible25: I see your point, however, I must say the hits have been going up as of late, do you think its due to my updates, or peoples curiousity over what has been going on with raos?
Rage of the Mage: ....I think people just like witnessing failure
hannible25: remember, I've revamped most of the pages, and I really must say the site isn't really as much of an eyesore as it used to be
Rage of the Mage: true as that may be, it doesn't change the fact that most of our readers are idiots.
EXAMPLE
*opens message board in browser*
*taking a second to find a suitable example*
Rage of the Mage: give me a moment
hannible25: no problem
Rage of the Mage: Random Acts Of Messageboard things like that, make me almost want to kill myself for reading.
I mean I'm sure that if the spanish inquisition had access to torture such as that, we would all be catholic today
hannible25: yeah, the horrendousness
Rage of the Mage: and it never stops Alex...
hannible25: thats true
Rage of the Mage: Now you tell ME why I should write an article for morons like that...
hannible25: but how about this what if fans with more highly developed brainstems started visiting? what then?
Rage of the Mage: IF and when that ever occured...I may be persuaded to update more often...hell I may even be persuaded to forkout cash for Web Express with my newfound capital, and register a dotcom
hannible25: what would you call this dot com? raos.com is already registered to a gay cook in new york...
Rage of the Mage: ProjectRAOS.com
hannible25: I see, so if people were to spread the word, and fans of tool and other crap we like were to be the majority of our hits, projectraos.com would be our next venture?and does this mean I'd have to revamp the entire site?
Rage of the Mage: Absolutely
hannible25: and you're not just saying this cause you're high?
Rage of the Mage: no I'm not, and no you would not have to revamp a damn thing
hannible25: but I would have to move all the pages right? change all the links? I know theres some sort of tedious and repetative crap that I'm gonna have to do
Rage of the Mage: I would end up doing the majority of the work, while you would have to do some grass roots campaigning and advertising
hannible25: hmm, sounds good what about for the moment? What do you think of the new aimprank section, and the possibility of a reviews section?
Rage of the Mage: I would love to do reviews, in fact I have been waiting to review the new Avril Lavigne CD, I think it's called..."Lollipops and other bullshit I wrote when I was 8"
hannible25: Oh please, I've been waiting for something like this for quite a while now don't forget to mention that she picks her nose, and has a drawn on tatoo
Rage of the Mage: oh yeah, can't forget that
hannible25: and she has this thing against belts, so her asscrack is always showing
Rage of the Mage: that's not really all that bad
hannible25: if you've seen her without make-up it is, see, with the make up one, she looks like a fucking racoon. without it she looks like well... she looks like you
Rage of the Mage: ...yeah, getting back on track asspants...
hannible25: Yes getting back on track, anyway I will put up the reviews section tonight, and I'll wrap up my review on GTA3. Then I'll wake kyle up, and tell him to go home and post a rant
Rage of the Mage: you didn't really finish the interview asshole
hannible25: I ran out of questions 20 mins ago, I'll think of something um...
Rage of the Mage: I was waiting to unleash some new fresh shit, no let me
hannible25: ok
Rage of the Mage: So Steve is there anything you would do to bring in new readers? go ahead ask me...
hannible25: um... So Steve
Rage of the Mage: yes?
hannible25: is there anything you would do to bring in new readers?
Rage of the Mage: glad you asked! yes there is I have been planning on a systematic wiping of the message board, weeding out intellect from ignoramus
hannible25: I see...
Rage of the Mage: and this can only be accomplished by FLAME-A-PALOOZA 9K, Presented in monkey vision!
hannible25: I thought it was called project message board...
Rage of the Mage: meh
hannible25: which brings me to the most intellectual question of the night
Rage of the Mage: sure
hannible25: just what in the piss is monkey vision! anyway?
Rage of the Mage: Well it came to me one night while I was sleeping, So I typed it in my next update. No there was no cool story...so deal with it.
hannible25: no I mean, just what does monkey vision! do?
Rage of the Mage: it allows you to read the following text as a monkey would
hannible25: I thought monkeys can't read?
Rage of the Mage: which is so similar to human vision that most don't notice the subtleties
Rage of the Mage: well they do...occasionally
hannible25: are we talking about monkey monkeys?or jocks from savanna monkeys?
Rage of the Mage: yes, now listen
hannible25: or grease monkeys its a really big genre, you can't rule out the huge monkey community, especially the ones who live down the street from my house
Rage of the Mage: Monkeys can read...in the wild they have been known to read erotic fiction based on the life and times of David Hasslehoff, and Gregory Hines
hannible25: they hang out on thier porch a lot, they're always messing with their cars
Rage of the Mage: anyhow
hannible25: and they play loud salsa music to celebrate a kin sierra whatever the hell that is
Rage of the Mage: here's how F-A-P 9K will work
hannible25: I see, is work anything like school? Are other employee's being fakey nice to you, or are they just dicks if they don't like you?
Rage of the Mage: shut up and listen damn you!!!!!
hannible25: yes'm
Rage of the Mage: I am going to pick a different person eacy day for two weeks on the message board...which reminds me....PUT A HUGE FRONT PAGE MESSAGE BOARD LINK ON THE FRONT PAGE(notice the double usage of front page?) and that person will be the subject of flamage
hannible25: there already is, its the dancing sean gif
Rage of the Mage: no no no I mean a HUGE text link
hannible25: I see, would you like fries with that?
Rage of the Mage: just for the next 2 weeks
hannible25: ok
Rage of the Mage: sure, easy salt
hannible25: yes MA'AM
Rage of the Mage: alright...now the person who flames the receiver the best will move on to the next round whoever is left standing, and is not flamed by the end of the two weeks...will win the prize
ONE FREE COPY OF THE RAOS UNDERGROUND COMEDY CD THAT IS VERY UNDERGROUND.
hannible25: is it so underground ICP just looks at it and says "Godamn thats underground" or is it so underground that the garage band down the street hasn't heard of it?
Rage of the Mage: yes
hannible25: wow... thats deep. I'll make this more interesting the winner will also receive ten dollars courtisy of me.
Rage of the Mage: ok, sure thing!
hannible25: cause you have bills right?
Rage of the Mage: I sure do
hannible25: is there anything else you'd like to say before we wrap this up?
Rage of the Mage: yes... Good luck in all your future endeavors
hannible25: to me or to the five people reading this?
Rage of the Mage: both, but especially to the 3.4 billion people who aren't reading this and with that I say good night.
hannible25: Wait I thought your saying to them was "go fuck yourself you cum socks!!!" ok thank you for your time
Rage of the Mage: you are not welcome
hannible25: wanna go smoke a bowl and drink some captain morgan?
Rage of the Mage: yes
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