Ok for my first Mis-adventure, I present to you, a
complete and utter fluke. As it turns out not only
is this guy a complete moron, but he sent an
instant message to me. So I had nothing to do
accept play off his abundant amounts of fucking
moron. My comentary is in bold
Ok, so here I am, going through some old posts in our message board when I get an instant message
alohainrolla (5:57:49 PM): hello
alohainrolla (5:57:53 PM): i was looking for someone in the dirtory
My initial reaction of "who the fuck is this!?" didn't quite seem like the right thing to say. Plus I was thinking it could be somebody I know. So I did what any body would do, I showed what would symbolize my confusion
hannible25 (5:58:02 PM): ???
alohainrolla (5:58:04 PM): and i was wonderif you happen to be them
hannible25 (5:58:05 PM): WTF?
hannible25 (5:58:13 PM): dirtory?
alohainrolla (5:58:21 PM): oh sorry
alohainrolla (5:58:25 PM): missed a c
hannible25 (5:58:40 PM): are you trying to spell dictionary?
alohainrolla (5:58:47 PM): no
alohainrolla (5:58:56 PM): the phone book type thing
What the hell? at this point I'm ready to tell this person to F off, but then I have a brilliant Idea. why not fuck with this around a bit, see what this person wants and let them think that I can provide whatever hell they want. At this point I'm not sure if they tink I'm an aol employee who can help people get free porn, so its very important to show that I can provide exactly whats needed
hannible25 (5:58:58 PM): I'm horribly inept so please elaborate
hannible25 (5:59:09 PM): directory?
alohainrolla (5:59:09 PM): for aol members
alohainrolla (5:59:12 PM): yes
alohainrolla (5:59:16 PM): thats it
hannible25 (5:59:24 PM): directory for aol members?
alohainrolla (5:59:27 PM): yes
hannible25 (5:59:37 PM): well what can I do for you?
alohainrolla (6:00:05 PM): i just was going to ask your last name so i can see if you are who i was looking for
WTF!?!?
hannible25 (6:00:19 PM): ok
hannible25 (6:00:22 PM): who are you looking for?
alohainrolla (6:00:28 PM): aldrich
hannible25 (6:00:34 PM): thats me
alohainrolla (6:00:48 PM): ok first name
hannible25 (6:01:06 PM): I don't give that info on the internet, but if you already know it
At this point I realized that this person is looking for someone, well as it turns out I'm the man of multiple Identities today because I'm exactly who this person is looking for. Theres just one problem... Who in the hell am I!?
alohainrolla (6:01:23 PM): start with an l
alohainrolla (6:01:28 PM): ?
hannible25 (6:01:37 PM): I wont tell
hannible25 (6:01:40 PM): you have to know it
hannible25 (6:01:47 PM): otherwise I'm not going to tell you
hannible25 (6:01:49 PM): otherwise
hannible25 (6:01:52 PM): what do you need?
...why am I so smart!?"
alohainrolla (6:02:14 PM): im looking for lauise aldrich
hannible25 (6:02:29 PM): thats me what do you need?
alohainrolla (6:02:42 PM): ok one last question
hannible25 (6:02:47 PM): sure
alohainrolla (6:02:49 PM): ever live in hawaii?
No... I mean
hannible25 (6:02:58 PM): a long time ago
alohainrolla (6:03:09 PM): in a 2 story house
alohainrolla (6:03:18 PM): went to kapaa high
alohainrolla (6:03:41 PM): ???????
hannible25 (6:03:59 PM): yeah
alohainrolla (6:04:12 PM): hello sweetheart
Wait a minute...
alohainrolla (6:04:15 PM): this is bigjake
HOLY CRAP I'M A CHICK!!! Ok calm down Alex, its ok. YOU ARE NOT GAY ALEX!!! ok looks like I'm gonna have to bust out with good ol' captain morgain
Ok now think of something alex...
hannible25 (6:04:30 PM): HOW'RE YOU DOING!?!?
alohainrolla (6:04:37 PM): doing fine
alohainrolla (6:04:45 PM): playing 20 qustions with you
hannible25 (6:04:53 PM): well you know me
But I sure as hell don't know you
alohainrolla (6:05:00 PM): ya i know
alohainrolla (6:05:07 PM): where you been
alohainrolla (6:05:27 PM): i have hunted you for a few years now
Oh shit I ran into a stalker
hannible25 (6:05:44 PM): well to be honest with you I didn't really stay in one spot
hannible25 (6:05:47 PM): I moved around a lot
Yeah to stay the hell away from you, Stalker!
alohainrolla (6:05:53 PM): i noticed
alohainrolla (6:06:06 PM): i couldt find you
hannible25 (6:06:28 PM): well I haven't had much time for certain things what with moving around and having kids and all
alohainrolla (6:06:38 PM): kids now
alohainrolla (6:06:41 PM): really
hannible25 (6:06:45 PM): twins
alohainrolla (6:06:54 PM): you always swore never to have any
hannible25 (6:07:52 PM): I know but they weren't expected
alohainrolla (6:07:58 PM): i see
hannible25 (6:08:01 PM): and I didn't have the heart to abort them
alohainrolla (6:08:12 PM): i understand
alohainrolla (6:08:21 PM): in la now i see
STALKER!!!
hannible25 (6:08:55 PM): yeah
hannible25 (6:09:07 PM): but this is my boyfriends screen name
hannible25 (6:09:15 PM): he took the kids to the park
hannible25 (6:09:19 PM): and I'm all done cleaning
alohainrolla (6:09:21 PM): oh im sorry am i intruding
NO BITCH I JUST SAID THAT MY BOYFRIENDS er I mean... FUCK YOU I'M NOT GAY!!
hannible25 (6:09:30 PM): no no
hannible25 (6:09:34 PM): I'm all alone
alohainrolla (6:09:40 PM): oh
alohainrolla (6:09:42 PM): ok
alohainrolla (6:09:47 PM): just making sure
hannible25 (6:10:44 PM): so where have you been?
alohainrolla (6:10:56 PM): oh i have moved here and there
alohainrolla (6:10:59 PM): after hawaii
hannible25 (6:11:05 PM): where are you now?
alohainrolla (6:11:10 PM): i stayed here in rolla for about a year
alohainrolla (6:11:43 PM): then went and styed in sf for 3 and a half years then tranfered to oahu for about the past 2 years
alohainrolla (6:11:58 PM): and now im back in rolla taking care of our family house
WTF!?!? were you looking for me you fucking stalker!?!?
alohainrolla (6:12:06 PM): but still living in oahu
hannible25 (6:12:26 PM): thats great
hannible25 (6:12:30 PM): what do you do for a living right now?
alohainrolla (6:12:51 PM): xerox corp
alohainrolla (6:13:00 PM): im a machine tech
hannible25 (6:13:04 PM): thats great
hannible25 (6:13:11 PM): you get paid a lot dont you?
alohainrolla (6:13:20 PM): 47 a year
alohainrolla (6:13:56 PM): gets me by
alohainrolla (6:14:01 PM): i live on the beach
alohainrolla (6:14:12 PM): nice 4 bedroom beachouse
hannible25 (6:14:21 PM): family?
alohainrolla (6:14:24 PM): on the ewa side
alohainrolla (6:14:30 PM): uh
alohainrolla (6:14:42 PM): family
alohainrolla (6:14:47 PM): as in my relations
alohainrolla (6:14:53 PM): only a girlfriend
Suuuuure you do
hannible25 (6:14:55 PM): yes
alohainrolla (6:15:12 PM): of witch i was dating even before hawaii
alohainrolla (6:15:33 PM): we grew up together here in rolla
hannible25 (6:15:54 PM): no kids?
alohainrolla (6:16:16 PM): she is finsing up her degree at semo in southern mo about a year away from her phd
alohainrolla (6:16:19 PM): no no
alohainrolla (6:16:34 PM): lots of fun but no kids
Must be tons of fun tracking down a person stalker
hannible25 (6:16:41 PM): I think its great my boyfriend is spending time with the kids
hannible25 (6:16:46 PM): he's hardly ever around
alohainrolla (6:16:52 PM): i agree
alohainrolla (6:17:03 PM): sorry to hear that
alohainrolla (6:17:13 PM): so tell me
alohainrolla (6:17:18 PM): what happen in life
hannible25 (6:17:32 PM): well I was so scared when I thought they were going to convict him
hannible25 (6:17:42 PM): I was crying when he was aquited
Tears of joy? I dunno this is all made up... don't look at me like that I'M NOT GAY DAMMIT!!!
alohainrolla (6:18:06 PM): convict him?
alohainrolla (6:18:12 PM): did i miss something
hannible25 (6:18:32 PM): well he was a accused of a murder
hannible25 (6:18:38 PM): but the bullets didn't match his gun
alohainrolla (6:18:58 PM): um
alohainrolla (6:19:04 PM): thats good
Wow this guy is dumber then I thought
hannible25 (6:19:29 PM): yeah
hannible25 (6:19:44 PM): and then another time the cops tried to come in and say all our stuff was bought with drug money
hannible25 (6:19:56 PM): but I know that can't be true
hannible25 (6:20:13 PM): He works hard at the factory during graveyard hours
hannible25 (6:20:37 PM): sometimes he comes home with red oil all over his shirts, and its so hard to get out
hannible25 (6:20:49 PM): but I don't think you would know anything about that
hannible25 (6:21:04 PM): unless you took up doing heavy loads of laundry
alohainrolla (6:21:05 PM): no i dont
alohainrolla (6:21:11 PM): no
alohainrolla (6:21:28 PM): i went for office work ,im lazy
ok, theres dim, dumb, blond, stupid, now theres this guy
hannible25 (6:22:18 PM): yeah well I wish my boyfriend had an office job
hannible25 (6:22:28 PM): he would come home at various times in the morning so tired
alohainrolla (6:22:44 PM): so tell me what happen with your mom and dad and that whole deal its been almost 9 years seince i heard from you
alohainrolla (6:22:46 PM): true
hannible25 (6:23:09 PM): you haven't heard from any of them?
alohainrolla (6:23:29 PM): i havent no
hannible25 (6:23:42 PM): well my mom died two years ago
alohainrolla (6:23:58 PM): im sorry
hannible25 (6:24:14 PM): I was so upset
alohainrolla (6:24:36 PM): i can understand my father passed right after i got back from hawaii
hannible25 (6:24:57 PM): at that same time my boyfriend was going to court in some sort of drug investigation, and to make matters worse
hannible25 (6:25:07 PM): my dad was crippled in the accident
alohainrolla (6:25:25 PM): im sorry to hear that
alohainrolla (6:25:41 PM): was that your dad or your stepdad
SHIT!!! ok guess I'm gonna have to go out on a limb here
hannible25 (6:26:34 PM): my stepdad
alohainrolla (6:26:44 PM): oh
hannible25 (6:26:51 PM): but we're close
hannible25 (6:27:03 PM): he was so upset by my moms death that he doesn't say much
hannible25 (6:27:12 PM): he just sits there staring out the window
alohainrolla (6:27:18 PM): i just remeber the bad times with him ,ofcourse that was a while back
DAMMIT!!!
hannible25 (6:27:31 PM): yeah we'll we talked things out
hannible25 (6:27:37 PM): it took a while but we became somewhat close
hannible25 (6:27:48 PM): we talked things out*
alohainrolla (6:28:29 PM): thats good
hannible25 (6:28:54 PM): its just sad to see how he doesn't talk at all anymore
alohainrolla (6:29:14 PM): ya i agree
alohainrolla (6:29:38 PM): so
hannible25 (6:29:41 PM): my boyfriend is back,
alohainrolla (6:29:46 PM): ok
alohainrolla (6:29:49 PM): need to go
alohainrolla (6:29:52 PM): ?
hannible25 (6:30:03 PM): he wants me to put some more of these white packages in the trap door under the bed
hannible25 (6:30:10 PM): I'll be back in a min
alohainrolla (6:30:13 PM): um ok
hannible25 (6:32:58 PM): ok back
hannible25 (6:33:05 PM): got some on my hands
hannible25 (6:33:17 PM): I didn't notice and got some in my mouth
hannible25 (6:33:22 PM): my tounge is all numb
alohainrolla (6:34:09 PM): om ok
hannible25 (6:34:38 PM): oh his work partner is here to
hannible25 (6:34:48 PM): he wears a lot of gold for a simple factory worker.
alohainrolla (6:34:48 PM): ok
alohainrolla (6:34:55 PM): um
alohainrolla (6:35:04 PM): you being sarcastic or ?
hannible25 (6:35:27 PM): a little but he does have a lot of rings and necklaces
hannible25 (6:35:38 PM): I'd think they'd get caught in the machines don't you?
alohainrolla (6:35:43 PM): no about the other things
hannible25 (6:36:30 PM): what other things?
alohainrolla (6:36:39 PM): under the bed
hannible25 (6:36:48 PM): no
hannible25 (6:37:19 PM): he told me that its for reinforcing the foundation
hannible25 (6:37:25 PM): cause we are in earthquake country
alohainrolla (6:37:42 PM): ah
alohainrolla (6:37:47 PM): ok im lost
alohainrolla (6:37:52 PM): this is normal
alohainrolla (6:37:53 PM): um
alohainrolla (6:38:05 PM): please explain
hannible25 (6:38:32 PM): what do you mean?
alohainrolla (6:39:34 PM): well ,to be honesnt i dont know if your joking with me or is this how your life really is
hannible25 (6:39:52 PM): why would I joke with you
hannible25 (6:39:55 PM): we haven't talked in so long
hannible25 (6:40:11 PM): I know you can be an easy target but its been way to long for that
alohainrolla (6:40:25 PM): ok
THIS FUCKING IDIOT ACUTALLY BELEIVED THAT!?!?! OMG HOW FUCKING STUPID IS THIS GUY??? at this point I can tell that I need to finish this up. Since I don't plan on ever chatting with him again. I'm gonna make this good.
alohainrolla (6:40:33 PM): may i ask a qustion
hannible25 (6:40:35 PM): sure
alohainrolla (6:40:46 PM): what lead to all this ,what changed
alohainrolla (6:41:00 PM): i know this is not what you had planed
alohainrolla (6:41:04 PM): i mean
alohainrolla (6:41:09 PM): dont get me wrong
alohainrolla (6:41:27 PM): im not juging,it just sounds so differnt from wher ei pictured you
hannible25 (6:41:56 PM): well I had to move around a lot because finding a good job is hard, and paying rent was a hassle
hannible25 (6:42:12 PM): I was roomates with a lot of people I wouldn't normally associate myself with
hannible25 (6:42:23 PM): but I had to stay with them cause I needed a place to stay
hannible25 (6:43:29 PM): and about three years ago I met my current boyfriend
hannible25 (6:43:48 PM): he said he was making plenty of money and wouldn't mind letting me live with him
hannible25 (6:44:04 PM): from there I was going to see if I can do what I wanted with my life
hannible25 (6:44:06 PM): then I got pregnant
hannible25 (6:44:25 PM): hello?
hannible25 (6:44:27 PM): are you there?
shit I think I scared him off
alohainrolla (6:44:41 PM): yes im here
alohainrolla (6:44:46 PM): just listing
NOPE game on
hannible25 (6:44:50 PM): oh
hannible25 (6:45:01 PM): I know its not the most glamouras life
hannible25 (6:45:24 PM): but I'm here with the man I love and these two wonderful children (although they can really be brats)
alohainrolla (6:45:26 PM): sorry just not what i pictured ,and thats my fault
Thats right bitch blame yourself
hannible25 (6:45:41 PM): well nothing is ever what it seems
you got that right...
alohainrolla (6:45:47 PM): true
alohainrolla (6:45:51 PM): you still writing
hannible25 (6:46:02 PM): no time
alohainrolla (6:46:16 PM): oh dont waste that
alohainrolla (6:46:21 PM): you are good at it
hannible25 (6:46:27 PM): I'm going back and forth with making dinner and talking to you
alohainrolla (6:46:44 PM): um
hannible25 (6:46:49 PM): but the computer is only a few feet from the kitchen so I can manage
alohainrolla (6:46:59 PM): um
alohainrolla (6:47:35 PM): well to tell you the truth i have been looking for you for a while now
yeah I know you told me you've been stalking me about 20 minutes ago
alohainrolla (6:47:55 PM): as i was cleaning out the family house i found all your old letters to me
hannible25 (6:47:55 PM): well you found me!
alohainrolla (6:47:57 PM): and
alohainrolla (6:48:17 PM): my girlfriend thought you where special
alohainrolla (6:48:22 PM): as do i
alohainrolla (6:48:34 PM): so i really wanted to see how life panned out so far
hannible25 (6:49:11 PM): thought I was special...
GUILT TRIP!!!
hannible25 (6:49:20 PM): :'(
alohainrolla (6:49:49 PM): well yes
alohainrolla (6:49:54 PM): you meant a lot to me
alohainrolla (6:49:59 PM): and still do
alohainrolla (6:50:38 PM): the lessons we learned togther and what not*
alohainrolla (6:50:58 PM): im sorry i just cought how odd this must sound to your boyfriend
*Translation, I wanted to fuck you so bad that I was willing to track you down and lie to you as you've been doing to me. Since I'm dumb enough to have beleived everything you told me, I'm dumb enough to beleived I ever had a chance at banging you. I'm sorry I just confessed about wanting to have sex with you in front of your boyfriend you flaming homo*...FUCK YOU I'M NOT GAY!!!
hannible25 (6:51:06 PM): ???
hannible25 (6:51:19 PM): well he's not even around
alohainrolla (6:51:24 PM): i feel like im tresspassing in some way
hannible25 (6:51:30 PM): him and his partner are outside in the driveway
hannible25 (6:51:37 PM): its nothing
hannible25 (6:51:52 PM): I always told him how close I was to everybody back in hawaii
alohainrolla (6:52:00 PM): i missed you at your house in kapaa by 15 days
alohainrolla (6:52:56 PM): i called everywhere in roddinsdale including the hospital
alohainrolla (6:53:08 PM): trying to find you
hannible25 (6:53:31 PM): sorry you missed me
alohainrolla (6:53:39 PM): so am i
hannible25 (6:53:52 PM): it would have been great to see you in person
alohainrolla (6:54:03 PM): well you never know
alohainrolla (6:54:14 PM): i have alot of business in la
alohainrolla (6:54:28 PM): its one of xeroxs main centers
alohainrolla (6:54:42 PM): i go for training about twice a year
hannible25 (6:55:08 PM): maybe I'll see you then
alohainrolla (6:55:40 PM): maybe
alohainrolla (6:55:57 PM): some of my family lives in sacromento
alohainrolla (6:56:12 PM): i lived in =yuba city fermont for 3 years
hannible25: <----------Doesn't care
hannible25 (6:57:54 PM): sounds nice
alohainrolla (6:59:03 PM): not to bad
hannible25 (7:00:13 PM): oh no
hannible25 (7:00:24 PM): my boyfriend is starting to yell at me
alohainrolla (7:00:32 PM): um
alohainrolla (7:00:38 PM): like me to go
hannible25 (7:00:38 PM): he gets this way after he's spent to much time with captain morgon
alohainrolla (7:00:40 PM): or
hannible25 (7:00:43 PM): I'm sorry I have to go
alohainrolla (7:00:46 PM): ok
...wait a minute. Captain Morgain?!?! That can only mean one thing...
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