I have always wondered if there is silence in the void. Silence cannot be found on Earth, for there is always a wind or a beating heart. There must be silence someplace… am I wrong? There is no silence in the shining place beyond the void for there the light itself shimmers with a noise, as I have never heard before. I have been there, to that place of unspeakable beauty, but I was not a welcome guest. There was audible hatred in the air about my head as I moved through that place but I did not remain there long. I am welcome no place. I have no home. I am of the void, or so I have been told.

The dancing light of the shining place and the cold morbid humor of reality both reject me. If I was sensitive to their wishes - the spirits and beings of both worlds - I would have returned to the void millennia ago. I am not. I do not feel the stones they throw in reality and I ignore the sound of hatred about my ears in the shining place. I have endured it far too long to let it get to me now. I move through existence like a snake through razor grass. Always cautious of the one who came - like me - from the void.

Such a creature is he, so lovely, my other half. I, who am so hated and he who is loved by all in both worlds; we are truly one. I want to hold him and ask him what I am and why. I want to glare into his face and demand to know why I cannot live in either of the worlds I love so much.

I do love them. They are so beautiful my heart weeps that I may be unable to enjoy them without being hated for it. It hurts. When I enter one world or the other I get a first glimpse of the beauty of the place but then as my pestilent soul infects it I see the cloud of myself close over it. Why does my very existence hurt them so? Why am I even in existence here in this beautiful place? Who allowed me to escape the void where I should be locked away?

Someone knows. Someone in reality is aware of me and does not hate or fear me. Someone there is who can understand. Two sides to every coin, pray for a god and you get one but also his anti-axis. Am I that? So believes he who knows me. I travel through the two worlds and as I move I feel the cold of the void for a moment. I wish to stay in that world of shining gold and light. Am I truly the anti-axis of all that is beautiful? If so, how can I love it as I do? Why does nothing make sense to me when a mere man in reality can figure me out with a deck of cards?

Is my existence not reality? Why should I live in the empty darkness of the void? Perhaps I should… there is no hate there. Nothing within the void has the power of emotion. None within it has the mind to know of his own existence. It is a sad place but while there one has no capacity for emotion. And maybe if I went so too would the shining one. Then I could ask him my questions, but would I care of the answers anymore?

back to the highway that never ends