Part 26
Xander stared miserably at the casket that was being lowered into the ground. His best friend. As close to him as Jesse.
Iam watched Xander the entire time, wishing he could put his arms around the depressed boy. But no, Xander hated him. For rejecting him and for his callous remark. But he still looked so miserable.
“Xan?”
Sad dark eyes, filled with unshed tears, met Iam’s clear blue eyes. “Yeah?”
Iam shifted uncomfortably, wishing he could take the sadness away from the other boy. “Do you want to go somewhere else? To, you know…”
‘To cry,’ thought Xander, finishing Iam’s sentence. He knew he couldn’t watch as the grave was filled in. “Yeah,” he said quietly, his voice cracking with suppressed emotion. “I can’t take this anymore.”
Iam led Xander away from the funeral party, back towards the car. Giles saw the boys leaving, and was glad Xander wasn’t staying to watch as they buried his best friend.
As soon as they were out of sight, Iam steered Xander behind a crypt and into a stand of trees. “No one can see us here. It’s okay.”
The torrent of tears Xander had been holding back all day flowed from his eyes. “It’s all my fault!” he sobbed. “I’ve been ignoring her! And-and now she’s gone!”
Iam hesitated for a second, the reached out to Xander, who grabbed onto the other boy like a drowning man to a lifeline. “Shh,” he soothed, stroking Xander’s hair lightly. “It’s not your fault. Could never be your fault.”
Xander buried his face in Iam’s shoulder, and the two boys just stood there, in each others’ arms, for a few minutes, with Xander’s muffled sobs being the only sound. Finally, the flood of tears seemed over, but Xander still clung tightly to Iam. Iam cursed silently, unable to stay in the embrace much longer without disastrous results. He tried to pull back fromXander, only to stumble and fall, bringing Xander down with him.
They toppled, with Xander landing on top of Iam. Xander started to move off the blond, but lust had taken over Iam’s mind and he snaked his hands behind Xander and pulled him down into a kiss.
Xander tensed for a second before deepening the kiss. Iam opened his mouth, allowing Xander to slipe his tongue in. The two kissed for long minutes, learning each other’s mouths. Hesitantly, Xander slipped one hand under the hem of Iam’s untucked shirt and slip slowly up the blond’s stomach and chest.
Iam moaned into Xander’s mouth and mirrored the movement. Xander pulled his mouth away suddenly, causing Iam to whimper. He frantically tried to bring Xander closer again, but stopped when he realized the dark haired boy was trying to remove their shirts. He helped pull the dress shirts off, thankful that it had been too warm for jackets. And then Xander’s mouth was back, his tongue invading Iam’s mouth and all other thoughts slipped away.
Iam moaned and tangled his hands in Xander’s hair, while he stroked the other boy’s tongue with his own. Xander was exploring his chest and rubbing Iam’s nipple, which stiffened under the assault. One hand slipped further down, investigating Iam’s belly button and stroking the soft treasure trail that lead farther down. Where that hand was now traveling, slipping under the waistbands of Iam’s slacks and boxers.
Iam was moaning and writhing when he was suddenly hit by a memory of his father. Forcing him to… “No!” He pushed Xander away, scuttling away, crying slightly. “I’m sorry. I-I can’t… Please, I’m sorry. Don’t hate me…”
Xander had been watching him in confusion, but then realization hit him. “Oh, God! Iam, I’m sorry! No, I would never… I’m sorry!”