Dawn of Redeeming Grace

Sitting down on a bale of hay, her thoughts turned to her brother and sister. While Teresa was content to have her big sister Louise back in her life, things were more complicated with Jeremiah. He still had a lot of hostility towards her, dating back to the years he had been left behind in the orphanage with Teresa. Lou regretted the five years in which she had not contacted them, and she wished she could make it up to them, but the simple truth was that she could not. She had tried to explain what happened to Jeremiah, but the boy could not (or would not) understand. He had effectively been abandoned, and part of Lou knew he had every right to feel that way.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she completely missed the Kid drive in the barn and unhitch the wagon. It was not until he walked over to her and given her a kiss that she was even aware that he was there. She blinked. “Kid! When did you get back?”

“Just now,” her husband replied. “You were miles away. What’re you doin’ out here anyway? You must be freezin’.”

“Waitin’ for you. I wanted to make sure you were able to get the presents, and I didn’t want Jeremiah and Teresa to find out yet. I’d rather surprise them on Christmas Day.”

Kid gave her a mock glare. “What, didn’t you trust me to get everythin’ you wanted?”

“Oh, I knew you’d try. I just wasn’t sure you’d be able to get everythin’, bein’ so close to Christmas and all.”

“Yes, I was able to get everythin’. Mrs Johnson gave me a package to give to you. It was already wrapped when she gave it to me, and she wouldn’t tell me what it was. she just said to give it straight to you.”

“Thank you.” She took the proffered package with such alacrity that his curiosity was raised another notch.

“What’s in that, anyway?”

“Never you mind,” she replied primly. “You just wait and see.”

“C’mon Lou, what is it?” Kid cajoled, reaching to tickle her ribs se much as he could through the layers she wore to bundle against the cold. “You’re not s’posed to keep secrets from me, remember?”

His wife ducked away as best she could. “You stop that, Kid! This just may be your Christmas present, but you won’t get it if you keep annoyin’ me.”

“All right,’ he immediately ceased his assault and did his best to look contrite, but the wicked glint remained in his clear blue eyes. “Though I won’t promise not to try and figure out what it is later.”

“You can try,” she said coyly. “If you can find it, that is. So you were able to get what we wanted then?” she abruptly changed the subject.

“More or less,” Kid hesitated. “I even got a couple of extra things,” he inclined his head, inviting her to take a look in the wagon.

Lou did not like what she saw there, knowing immediately whom it was for. “You are not givin’ that to him,” she said resolutely. “I already told him no.”

“I know what you said, Lou, and believe me, I agree with you on that point.”

“But you still wanna give it to him, even after I said no. you wanna undermine any respect he has for me. He’ll never listen to me again.”

As the argument started to heat up, Jeremiah McCloud quietly closed the trap door in the barn, unnoticed by his sister and brother-in-law. They were arguing about him, and he had no desire to hear that. He sometimes doubted that he would ever forgive Louise for leaving him and Teresa all that time. Scenes like this only made it worse.

If he had listened a little longer, he would have found out that the present in question was a rifle, similar to the one that William F. Cody had. Lou was not all that impressed with having her “no guns” rule for Jeremiah overturned. She felt that he was too young and hot headed; fearing that he may turn out like Jesse James, especially after the fact the two boys had gotten on like a house on fire when they met.

Kid, however, had other ideas. “Lou, I know how you feel, but I’m not tryin’ to undermine you. But the fact is Jeremiah will be 14 next year. He’s not a little boy anymore. Sooner or later he’s gonna have to be taught how to use a gun. Wouldn’t you rather it was done properly, and that it was me teachin’ him? Look, if you’re that worried, we can set up some ground rules, like it’s only for hunting, and he doesn’t get access to it in between times.”

“He’s too young,” Lou insisted.

“Lou, I was taught to use a rifle when I was 12, and if he hadn’t been brought up in an orphanage, Jeremiah probably would have been too.”

“So now you’re sayin’ that I shouldn’t have left them there so long?” Lou glared at her husband, guilt flooding through her.

“No! Lou you couldn’t help what you did. You had no way of lookin’ after them. I’m just sayin’ that if you had been lucky enough to have been raised by a father—and I’m not talkin’ about Boggs, I mean just a father—Jeremiah would’ve had a rifle by now.”

“I s’pose you’re right,” she admitted grudgingly. “It’s just…”

“What?” Kid took her hand and led her to the bale of hay she had been sitting on before.

“You saw what Jeremiah and Jesse were like when they were together. Jeremiah reminds me of Jesse in so many ways.”

“Maybe that’s why you always had a soft spot for Jesse.”

She smiled. “Maybe. But it scares me sometimes. Jesse kept gettin’ into trouble all the time, and I don’t wanna see Jeremiah turn out like that. He has so much anger already.”

“He won’t,” Kid said reassuringly. “Not with you showin’ him the right way.”

Lou snorted. “He doesn’t seem to want to listen to me.”

“Give him time. When he sees that you’re not gonna abandon him, he’ll come around. And lettin’ him have the rifle will go a long way to easin’ things.”

His wife rolled her eyes. “Don’t start that again.”

“Lou, we can set ground rules, just like I said. But gettin’ that rifle will show that you do trust him. It’ll break the ice, Lou.”

Lou was not convinced by the merits of giving her 13-year-old brother a rifle for Christmas, but her husband wore her down. All the other preparations took place without a hitch. Taking herself out of the apathy she had been in since the miscarriage, Lou worked with Rosa Veloz to come up with a Christmas dinner that she could prepare on her own, as she and Kid wanted to give Rosa the day off to spend with her husband Juan. Lou wanted this Christmas to be special; it was the first Christmas out of the orphanage with Jeremiah and Teresa. It could not make up for all the Christmases she missed, but she wanted to start a new tradition. Jeremiah was not confident in his sister’s cooking, and to be honest, neither was the Kid—her avoidance of cooking while they rode for the Express was prevalent in his mind.

But Lou had been holding out on them, and proved to be quite a good cook. “Mama taught me a bit before she died, but I was only young then. But I had to learn to cook when I was on my own, and Rachel taught me some.”

“Why didn’t you say anythin’?” Kid wanted to know. “You left us to Hickok’s porridge whenever Emma or Rachel was away.”

“Well, I was s’posed to be a boy! I couldn’t let Teaspoon think there was anythin’ odd about me. Besides, I didn’t want you guys takin’ advantage of me.” Kid just laughed and kissed her.

On the whole, the first Christmas the combined McCloud/Andrews family had at the old Sutherland ranch (they had not come up with a name for the place yet) was a success. Kid was very surprised to find that Lou’s mysterious parcel was not something brought from the general store, but a copy of William Shakespeare’s Hamlet; one that had been inscribed to his mother by him and his brother Jed. “How the Hell did you find this? Jed had it when he ran off; I never thought I would see it again.”

Lou smiled. “Teaspoon gave it to me. He’d been doin’ somethin’ with that bounty hunter Jake Colter, he never told me what or where. But he came across it; he said that it was Providence that he was the one to find it, ‘cos hardly anyone else could’ve figured out whom it had belonged to. It was in pretty bad condition, so I gave it to Mrs Johnson to see if she could fix it. She did the best she could.”

Kid’s blue eyes were moist as he pulled her into his arms. “Thank you,” he whispered. “It’s the best thing you could have given me.”

Teresa was pleased with her gifts: some doll clothes for her doll, Mumblepuss, and a sewing kit from Lou and Kid; sweets from Jeremiah; and hair ribbons from Rachel and Teaspoon in Rock Creek. Jeremiah liked the pack of cards he received from Teresa, and the hat from Teaspoon and Rachel, and even the pocket knife that was half Lou and Kid’s present. But he was really impressed to be given the rifle. He was less impressed to find out the restrictions that were placed on him—it was only to be used for hunting, and he would not have access to it in between times.

“Why’d you give it to me, then?” he asked his older sister disgustedly. “I knew you didn’t trust me!”

Lou moved to follow her brother after he stormed out, but the Kid held her back. “Let me,” he said. As much as Lou wanted to get through to Jeremiah, he figured that he may be able to get through to the boy—male to male.

He found him endeavouring to destroy his bed by kicking at the legs in frustration, unmindful of the pain. Jeremiah only stopped when Kid placed his hand on his shoulder, and then he glared sullenly at his brother-in-law. “I bet it wasn’t her idea to give me that rifle,” he griped.

“It wasn’t,” Kid admitted. “I said that you were gettin’ older and should learn how to shoot.”

“Then why the stupid restrictions? Why can’t I have it when I’m not hunting?”

“Why do you need it then?” his brother-in-law countered. “You won’t need it at school or around the house.”

Jeremiah had to concede that point, but he was not willing to let the subject go. “But she doesn’t trust me. That’s why she won’t let me keep it all the time!”

“It’s not that she doesn’t trust you,” Kid hedged. “She worried about you. She doesn’t want you to turn out like Jesse James.”

“Jesse’s all right!” the boy protested. “He saved me and Teresa!”

“I know. Don’t get me wrong, both me and Lou care about Jesse a lot. He’s family. But he got into trouble more than once because he was hot headed; and it led to someone gettin’ killed.”

“Noah?”

Kid nodded and told the whole story. Jeremiah had not been told before when Jesse was looking after them, because the subject was just too painful for either Jesse or Lou and the Kid. But Kid felt that telling Jeremiah now would help him understand where Lou was coming from. Or rather, he hoped it would. Jeremiah had such distrust for his sister that sometimes he feared the boy would never get over it.

But Jeremiah’s anger diminished quite a lot when Kid finished. Some disgust remained, though. “Doesn’t she see that I’m not gonna run off and do that, though?”

“Maybe. But you can be just as hot headed as Jesse, so you can’t blame her for worryin’. Besides, you go off at her often enough that she’s afraid that you’re gonna run off and make your way on your own if you get independent enough.”

“Not a bad idea,” Jeremiah muttered. “I could look after Teresa, and Louise wouldn’t have to worry about us.”

“Hey!” Kid snapped. “Lou may have left you at the orphanage for a long time, but she still cared about you. But she couldn’t help it, she had no where to keep you. She probably should’ve written, but you have no idea what she went through all those years. But you’re here now. She isn’t gonna send you away. Why don’t you relax and give her a chance?”

“I guess,” he muttered reluctantly.

“Lou’s tryin’ her best, Jeremiah,” Kid went on gently. “She did agree to let you have the rifle; I wouldn’t have been about to fight her if she said no. and if you prove to her that you’re not gonna run off and do somethin’ wild, she just may relent and let you have it all the time. What do you say?”

“All right,” Jeremiah agreed, still reluctantly.

“You’ve really upset her, you know,” the older man continued. “She wanted this Christmas to be perfect as it’s the first one you guys have had together in so long.”

When Jeremiah went downstairs, he found Lou and Teresa sitting by the fire. Lou had been reading the Christmas story to her sister, but she stopped when she saw her brother. “I’m sorry, Louise,” he said. “It was awful good of you and the Kid to give me that rifle.”

Lou smiled. “It’s all right. Will you join us?”

“Can I read?”