Whadoo I Know?
NOTE: POSTING HERE DUE TO XANGA BEING DOWN

Sup peoples, I'm back, just like you knew I would be. If you read my xanga post last night, then
you know you're in for a treat tonight, lol, yes, yes, I'ma bless ya'll with some of my
unfiltered, uncensored thoughts.

If you didn't already know, I think A LOT...I can't help it, even when I try not to, I'm thinking of SOMETHING. Anyways, it's kind of wierd though because for basically the past week, I've been pondering the same thoughts over and over again. Sometimes,when I get my thoughts out, it helps me to evaluate exactly what it is that plagues me. I know
I'm saying this in vain, but for those of you who read this and feel it, or even have something
to add to it, then please do so by leaving a comment to the post.

So...here goes. Love is something that I often contemplate a little more than I'd like to. Exactly what IS love? How do you know that it's real? And how soon is too soon to love someone? Is there a schedule that one should adhere to? For me, love is something that can't exactly be explained, truly, I believe it can only be felt. Love is the smile on your face when you reminisce on times spent with the one you care for. Love is that tingling feeling on your skin when he/she touches you. Love is the
laughter that you share when you're together. Love is the worry that you feel when you're apart.
Love is a culmination of things; of feelings, and can feelings accurately be described through words?
I don't think they can.

Being able to tell whether it's real or not is tricky. I don't think anyone is ever REALLY sure, there's too much trust involved, and there are very few people in the world willing to put their hearts on the line in order to put complete faith and trust into another human being. The majority of humanity is too cynical for that, and for the few that are willing, they're seen as naive.

Me personally, I am the latter type..both fortunately AND UNfortunately. I am a picky person when it comes to romantic endeavors...in other words, you have to be SOMETHING ELSE to grab AND hold
onto my attention. With that said, if someone comes along who I actually develop genuine feelings
for, I tend to fall hard. So am I wrong for that? I feel like, life is too short to NOT take some
chances...life's too short to live on "what if's".

True enough, this kind of approach can yield
results of heartache and pain..but I feel like each experience opens my eyes for new things to
look for next go round, and I'm confident that God won't make me go through anything that he's not
prepared to walk [with] me through. Besides that, I'm a believer in karma...I believe what goes around
comes around, and I try to base my actions and decisions around that, and God's laws of course.

I don't believe that love is like baking cookies, there's no timer to manage, no set amount of time
before it's "ready"..it is, what it is. Do I believe in love at first sight? Sure, why not? It's
not so far-fetched is it? I'm willing to admit, I'm a bit of a dreamer, and a romantic, but I
think that's part of what makes me who I am, and when it comes down to it, I honestly wouldn't
want to be any other way.

With that said though, I do realize that my point of view and way of thinking,isn't the most realistic, and while I don't want to alter who I am...there is nothing wrong with improving upon what's already there..so what I'm working on now is taking a step back and trying to view people for what they really are instead of who I want them to be, and/or who they
portray themselves to be. It's a challenge for me because I'm so used to giving people the
benefit of the doubt (my mom says I get on her nerves with it, lol) or making excuses for them, or thinking that because I'm a certain way, they will be too. There's nothing wrong with believing in people and things, but I KNOW that I can get a little ridiculous with my false hope, so hopefully
with God's guidance, I will be able to spot the wolves.

I know this is all a lil' spacey, but I'm just
putting it out there as it comes to me....but back to this "love thang", it's really just one ball of confusion, just when you think you've got a real understanding of it, it changes form and shows you something new. I think it's meant to be that way, if you could understand it, would it be half as intriguing? I think not.

Anyways, the other thought that's been circulatin' all up in the folds of my mind(I had to throw SOME slang in here, lol)is this, does EVERYONE think they're different? I mean, I for one, think I am different, but maybe I'm just disillusioned, maybe I'm no different than anyone else?
I don't believe THAT for a hot second though, I don't THINK I'm different, I KNOW I am.

I know, for a fact, that God had something special in mind when he formulated all that was to be me. It's another one of those "feeling"
situations, it's not something that I can quite explain, it's just something I know/feel. For the
people who have really taken the time to get to know me, and know me really well, I think they
know or sense this also. Do I sound crazy?

Now, by no means am I saying that I'm perfect, or
near perfect, or near to being near to being perfect. What I AM saying though, is that God had a
special mold for me, and after me, there will be no other LIKE me. I know that sounds a little
cliche', the old "can't nobody be me, but me"...but I think in this case, it's true. What sets
me apart from any other female? Or male for that matter? I'll leave that up to you to find out.

Thought of the day(as if there aren't enough already, lol):

"There's more to life than loving yourself, you've got to learn to love somebody else."-Jagged Edge

End of the Road
Man...I don't know if I'ma be able to maintain two blogs...I mean, if I blog on one..what am I supposed to talk about on the other one? This presents a problem...this might be the end of this one..I'ont know, i won't decide just yet..we'll hold off..until then, peeeeaaaceeee-skeeeee-weeeee-skeeee! :)

~3 Minus 2~

Been A Long Time Comin'
Man, whuddup ya'll...I'ont know WHO I be talkin' to, don't nobody be readin' this junk...but,like Lil' Jon...I'ont give uh WHAT! I'm just here to express myself, ya dig? Um, why do they play reruns of Jack@$$? Why? I can't take more than five minutes of that show, it's just too retarded! Anyways...I been feelin'...um...in a somewhat surreal mood. Have ya'll ever wanted something you couldn't touch? Like, it was there, but at the same time, it wasn't? Has anyone ever gotten into your mind, without having said anything..and you couldn't figure out why? That's kinda how I feel, I'ont know mayne..it's like, I feel infected yo..lol. ::PAUSE:: Steve-O is nasty, why did he swallow a goldfish and then puke it back into the fishbowl..ugh, he is just nasty, fuh real! ::UNPAUSE:: Anyway..back to what I was saying...or what about when you really want to express something, but you just can't find the words to describe it..that's lightweight tough right there. Err...lemme get off that though...I was talkin' to Kase tonight and we were lookin' up pick-up lines..here are a few of my personal favorites:

Ask: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" (No.) Wink.

A women/man asks, "Excuse me, do you have the time?" You: "Do you have the energy?"

I'm a writer, you're a writer, how about we get naked together and put some poetry in motion?

If I were the king, and you were the queen, in the cosmic game of chess, would you mate with me?

You like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometime.

I'm like Domino's Pizza: if you don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.

K, those were the funny ones..now here are some "aaaaaawww" ones:

If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.

If you stood in front of a mirror and held up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

Well, I think that's enough for now..I'm out..SOMEBODY, drop me a COMMENT sometime uh sumfin..judgin' from the hits, SOMEBODY readin' this mofo, so make your presence known!

~3 Minus 2~

I Need A Resolution
Tonight's blog is simple...I think I'm gonna start payin' more attention to my gut feelin's, and quit makin' excuses for people..that's my mid year resolution. Feel me?

Mah Bay-beh Luv
It's official, I'm in love, it happened today. It was absolutely love at first sight! I only met her today, and I'll probably never see her again, but I'm absolutely smitten! I wanted to hold her, but I knew if I did I would never want to let her go. Her name is Jasmine, and today was her birthday...she turned 3 weeks old today. On everything, she was the most beautiful lil' baby girl I have ever seen in my life. I was watchin' her mama hold her and I just couldn't stop cheesin, baby girl was SO precious. **Sigh** one day that'll be me holdin' my baby girl, God willin. Anyways, I'm feelin' very...ah...how do you say...abstract? I'm not sure if that's the word I want, but it'll do for now. This might be a kind of long/strange blog cuz I have plenty of random thoughts I've been thinkin' about throughout the day that I wanna put out there...here goes:

Random Thoughtz Of Da Day

Didn't pencil fighting used to be tha joint?

Turn-Onz: hats, shoulders/backs/pistol grips(ask me), Hugo Boss cologne!!!

Wasn't Sara off da chain when she was tipsy?(MTBII)

Movie favorites: The Green Mile, Armageddon, First Knight, Menace II Society, Next Friday, Monty Python & The Holy Grail, Remember the Titans, The Bodyguard, Dirty Dancing.

Isn't it funny that the people you DON'T like give you more attention than you can handle, and the people you do, barely acknowledge your existence?

Am I the only person who thinks Doggy Fizzle Televizzle is hecka funny?

Favorite words/phrases: word, hecka, yo, giiiia, "do what you do", word em up (yeah, I said, AND WHAT?), madd

Has anyone else noticed that Master P can't read?

Sexiest Male Ever(model): Will Lemay!!!

Funniest pick-up line in life-"Are your parents retarded?" ..."no, why?"...."you seem like a very special person"....heeeeeeeeeeeck naw! LOL

Th..th...th..that's aaaaaall folks!

The Block Is Hot
Maaaaaaan, it had to be 'bout uh hundred degreez today...I had to wear some freakin' boots cuz all my shoes are packed up in a box..ain't that bout uh....anyway, I have to say that I am very happy that things continue to fall into place for me, I'm tellin' ya, Tha Man upstairs is puttin' in overtime for me! A semi-new development, I plan to be moved to ATL by this time next year...buuuut, rent up there is high as the projects and working the job i work now, it'll be almost impossible to save for my relocation. Funny thing though, for one, I mentioned the relocation to a friend of mine, and she said that if I was really serious about moving, she would "go with"...can we say ROOMMATE! Also, I was thinkin' I need to get a part time job if I'm really gonna make it happen..funny thing, how bout the lady I work for now, asked me if I want to work a few hours on the weekend? Woooohooo....He's always on time, ain't he?!? Aaaanyway, we got cable today! Bad news, we gotta wait on DSL...good news, after the lil trial thingie, we're gonna get rid of AOL DSL and get Comcast High Speed Internet, wooohooo, we comin' up, watch out now!

Always Busy Dis Busy Dat, Can't Talk On Da Phone
I swear I need to get out more. It seems that everyone AND they mama have a social life except me! I need to make some new friends uh sumfin, nobody ever has time for me, what kind of crap is that? I mean dag. Ever since E-beezy and Angela got back together, I never hear from him anymore...Candice has her lil' man, so we never talk...it's messed up man, everybody got someone except me..well, you know. Why can't it be like the old days? When you were back in bout 6th grade and used to sit up on the phone all night, lol. Those were the good ol' days, who wants to grow up?? Ugh, things are so frustrating, but it's all good, it'll get better before it gets worse (let's hope so anyway). On a lighter note, we bought a new tv today! It's tiiiight, it's one of those flat screens, I'm lovin' it. Aaaand, we get cable and dsl tomorrow! I'm dreadin' goin' to work..I just KNOW I am destined for something greater than receptionist work, and I can't wait to find out what it is, lol. Well, once again, I have no one to talk to and nothing to do, so I'm AUDI 5000 (hadda take it back one mo' time, lol).

Like Monica...Sooooooo Bored!
I don't have anything exciting or even remotely interesting to talk about today...I am still in MAJOR PAIN from that freakin' move...took another Vioxx and I'm smellin' like somebody's retirement home from all that IcyHot I have on! We still have some stuff to move, but it's small stuff, I'll be glad when we're completely done, cuz that drive is killer...20 minutes both ways. I'm sittin' here bored to death, no cable 'til Monday, no one online to talk to...blah! There was a car show this evenin' that I wanted to go to...but we were still movin' stuff so I missed it, dangit! Rashida called to ask if I wanted to go to the Elks..if I wasn't in so much pain I'd go, I haven't been out in a while, it'd be nice to be around a bunch of people and some loud music..maybe take in a few drinks! I would still go, but now I smell like a mint factory so I might as well fuggedaboudit! Oh, one minor bit of excitement, people signed my guestbook, yeeeeeeah. Well...th...th...th..that's all folks!

~3 Minus 2~

All Da Women, Who Independent!
Maaaaaan, what a long day! I was up at the crack of freakin' dawn today for the big move. It's 12:01 and I'm just now settling in...been runnin' around non-stop since 7am. Me, mom, and Elo are in our new place, yeaaah! Mom rented a u-haul and paid 2 Men & A Truck to load it up...so E-beezy and Swoll were supposed to come over around noon, and the truck had to be back by 3pm...somebody tell me why them negroes didn't show up until about 2pm. Sooooo, me and mom unloaded EVERYTHING by ourselves, and when I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING. I was hecka proud of us for doin' it on our own...but dag a ni@@a is sore as all get out...guess I'll take a Vioxx and call it a night!

Flickted Reflekshun
This is my first "blog" . . .how nifty is that?? Learned about it from my lil snorey poo! I love to write...so I know I'ma loooove this! Anyways, today was one of those "blah" days where I think entirely too much. To make matters worse, I had nothing to do all day at work, which left my mind with the opportunity to run amuck (I hope I spelled that right). . .not a good thing. At any rate, I'm sure no one is ever actually going to read this, but if you do, and you have any ideas, hook uh sista up!!