Wow... I just saw 'Once Upon a Time in Mexico'...and...it
was tremendously, absolutely, fantastically, horrendously dumb!!!!
Okay, it wasn't the worst movie I've ever seen, but certainly not
the best!
'Why?' you might ask?:
1) No, that's not more eye-liner running down Johnny Depp's face,
instead, his eyes have been drilled out of his head within the strange
non-sensical plotline of the story... yeah, fun.
2) Johnny's character is a CIA agent with an odd infatuation with pork
roasts,... and when he finds an extremely good pork roast cook, he
immediately shoots him. (??????)
3) (yes, I'm refering to Johnny yet again) When making this movie,
Depp must have been so depressed so as to enter the phrase
"Savvy?" from his role in 'Pirates of the Caribbean" numerous times
to make him feel better about acting in this Mexico thing.
4) There's a group of some sort of fundementalists attempting to
overthrow the 'El Presidenta' for power... a 'Coup D'Etat' ordeal...
yeah, REAL original...They seem to multiply like rabbits as well.
5) WAY too many flashbacks that could have been avoided...
Antonio Benderas' character never smiles and always plays
the guitar...for no damn reason (except that his guitar contains a
gun that resembles a shot-gun, cut in have, shooting god-blum
cannon-balls)
6) Of all people to play a role in this film, they choose Cheech Marin
(you know, of the infamous 'Cheech and Chong' pot-head comedy
flicks) to play a drug smuggler with one eye, who gets killed by
Johnny Depp's character simply because the waitress spilt coffee on
his artificial arm!
7) ...and a remote-controlled guitar case... yes, you heard me right,
A REMOTE-CONTROLLED GUITAR CASE that contains a bomb and
is driven under a fundementalists car and blows up... it looked like a
freakin' Tonka Toy on crack!... wow, that was the biggest laugh I've
ever had in a film...who wrote that in the script?!
8) There is an annoying Chihuawa Dog
9) There's a very random over-reference to 'Tearing out a guy's left nut',
which this one woman seems to do alot in the movie (not shown, thank
God!)... to the point where for one actor in the screen credits, his role
was literally called "The Left Nut Guy".
yeah...so I give this film five stars (One for 'great' filmmaking, and four
for unintended hilarity!!)... sorry if I talked so much about it,... I thought
I'd warn you if you ever decided to go see it^_^
~Rachel