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Chapter XVII: Magic back
Madari
Copyright © Nene Thomas 1993.
I was ready to invoke my goddess, but I knew I had better have to think twice. I remembered the priest's attitude: he acted as if he knew a lot and he was in very friendly terms with Beauty, that was a plus. I sat in my favourite armchair and my eyes fell on Beauty's portrait. So vivid, so beautiful... Yes, this girl was really worthy of her name, despite the bad opinion she had of herself. Suddenly it seemed to me that her smile was an enigmatic one, as if she wanted to tell me that she knew something I needed to know. I took a deep breath and made a choice: I would wait till tomorrow and ask Fra Vestris. Questioning Shuqra would only come after; I knew her enough to be sure that she would answer the easiest questions without any hesitation but leave the most interesting - and difficult - aside: it was one of her favourite tricks. I was sure I could obtain the first answers from Fra Vestris. This young priest had made a good impression on me.
He didn't look surprised a bit to see me coming to the temple at sunrise. He was already up and was finishing his morning prayer to his god. He stood up calmly, greeted me politely - I noticed that, even if he was exceedingly polite, there was no trace of submission in his voice - and offered me a seat. He sat too and then looked at me.
"What can I do for you, my lord?" he asked quietly.
"Straight to the point, as I see!" I said, trying to laugh in order to hide my embarrassment.
He didn't answer; he crossed his legs and waited. I sighed mentally; I wasn't misleading him for a bit. He knew exactly why I was here; I hadn't the faintest idea of how he could know that, but the fact was that he knew it. I didn't really know where to begin and then, I heard me saying:
"I'm engaged to Rose Line. Can you believe that I don't love her?"
He nodded and answered:
"Yes, I know. Your heart doesn't belong to her."
"I don't understand why I'm engaged to her!" I exploded, telling him something I hadn't told to Beauty.
He nodded again.
"That's not really your fault. That's like a marriage in which your parents engage their parole for you."
"Yes, but my parents would never have done such a thing!"
I kept silent for a moment and added:
"You know where my parents are, don't you?"
"They are dead, my lord, I'm afraid," he replied without adding those words of compassion meaning nothing, most of the times.
"Dead! Too many deaths around me..."
He shrugged.
"That's how life is done, my lord. You can't live forever... and those who have more time than others sometimes find it too long, much like eternity..."
I was sure that his last sentence was a dig at me, but I didn't understand it.
"Why am I so reticent with the fairy?" I asked suddenly.
I felt he was reticent too to answer my questions and I had to push him hard to obtain my answers. His next reply strengthened me in my opinion:
"You're always reticent with a divinity and a fairy can be compared with a divinity, don't you think? She has magic and something like eternity..."
"Beauty told me I had magic before," I said.
"She's right."
"Which magic? And which before? Before what?"
"Which question do you want me to answer to, my lord? I can only answer one of them."
I thought lengthily, wondering what rule was governing them: first Beauty, then Fra Vestris! They were speaking as if it was a game whose rules I didn't know and nobody could tell me what were those rules!
"Which magic?" I finally said.
Fra Vestris nodded quite sadly, as if I had made the wrong choice; would the way to truth be longer then?
"Yes, you had magic before," he said slowly. "A strong, powerful magic, and your people had it too. You were able to create things allowing you to see everything, everywhere and you were more free than everybody else, even if you were... trapped in your castle. You could create beautiful things just with the power of your mind and you could overcome your own fears..."
"Just because of this magic?" I marvelled.
"Not only, my lord. You had something else: you were not caring a bit for yourself, you were entirely devoted to someone else and that made you stronger. That's why you were able to overcome your fears."
"Did I have the magic of creating roses?"
"No, my lord. You didn't create all the beautiful roses in your gardens. Someone else made them grow and cared for them everyday."
"But who?" I asked desperately.
Fra Vestris stood up, his face now stern.
"I can't answer anymore. You must try to find your own way to the truth with that elements; naturally, you can still ask Shuqra, but I doubt very much she will give you more answers than I did. The gods love that kind of little games."
"Can I use my magic to find the truth?"
"Of course, but you must find it again before that," he said with a gentle mockery.
I half-smiled and was on the point to leave the temple when I remembered a question was left.
"Father!" I called back.
He turned on his heels, waiting.
"Was there a beast or a monster here before?" I asked, knowing fully I was ridiculous.
His face became very dark and his eyes glazed with fury. He shook the head and answered in a calm voice:
"You have to find by yourself what it's all about, my lord."
This time, I understood the conversation was fully over and I took my leave of him. I almost hadn't spoken of Beauty and I had the impression I hadn't learnt much. He had been a bit less reticent about the magic than about my relations with Rose Line and the fairy, but then, the fairy could perfectly have been listening to us.
I began to think again of my conversation with Fra Vestris when I was back in my rooms. Somehow I was sure something important had been said but I couldn't point it out. Fra Vestris had been far much too reticent, he had been hiding something: he had spoken in enigmas, never really denying what I had said, but never confirming it either. It was as if he had been choosing very carefully his words, not willing to reveal something I hadn't the right to know.
Something I hadn't the right to know? What could be kept hidden from me? I was the lord of this country, I had asked him questions about myself, he should have had answered me in all honesty! I had to know everything! I smiled bitterly. I was acting like a spoiled brat. Never had I cared about something else than rose, why should I begin now? Finally, perhaps the young priest's technique was clever, for he had managed in intriguing me.
I tried to gather up all he had told; I felt I had something to guess from what he had said. First of all, his first answer: it was almost as if he had added silently that my heart was belonging to someone else. But who? Then about my marriage and his reference about the marriages of convenience. Could it be that someone had put up my marriage without even asking me? All his answers were as many questions. And, in the middle of this maelstrom of questions, there was this unknown factor whose name was Beauty. I knew she was the key of all that, but I couldn't find the keyhole, to continue the metaphor.
I sighed and, as an answer to my deepest thoughts, Sevulf entered my room. I looked thoughtfully at my old butler and asked:
"Do you have magic, Sevulf?"
I knew it was a stupid question to ask, of course, but Sevulf was used to hear me asking silly questions. He looked embarrassed and coughed.
"Well... I just wanted to talk to you about that, master. Stoat managed it. She said she found back her magic."
"What did she create?" I asked, quite curious and not really surprised, for Stoat had always been very clever, so very clever that I was sometimes irritated against her because she always made me feel like a stupid little boy.
"She created a magic mirror, master. And with it, she can see everywhere."
"You were able to create things allowing you to see everything, everywhere and you were more free than everybody else, even if you were... trapped in your castle."
This sentence was one of Fra Vestris and now, it had its echo in Sevulf's mouth. Had I been able to create magic mirrors too? And what had I looked at, through this magic eye?
"Can I see it?" I said, trying - quite successfully - to sound indifferent.
"Naturally, master," replied Sevulf, sounding indignant. "You're not a little boy anymore to ask such questions!"
I smiled and followed him though the dark corridors. It was strange that I hadn't noticed before how dark this castle could be.
All my people were in the kitchens, somehow empty now that Geolf was dead. One of the cupboards had his door curiously shining and the reflected image was not at all the one of the kitchens. It was in the town, in the bookstore, and Beauty was there, a book in the hands, flicking through it. Another girl came near her and greeted her.
"Good morning, Beauty! What are you reading?"
The red-russet girl started and reddened a bit.
"Good morning, Alara. Huh... nothing special."
She put the book back on its shelf, but the other girl, suspecting something, took it. Her eyes opened wide as she read the title.
"Are you joking? You really can read ancient Greek?" she exclaimed.
"Huh... Yes, I can," replied Beauty, embarrassed.
She looked around like a trapped deer and her panic grew even more when she saw the bookseller coming toward them.
"Good morning, miss Alara, miss Beauty. Can I do something for you?"
"Beauty knows how to read ancient Greek!" repeated Alara.
The bookseller looked puzzled. He gazed at Beauty, obviously wondering how a mere girl like her could know something about old languages.
"Excuse me for doubting your skills, miss, but can you read me the beginning of this book? I happened to know ancient Greek too and I'm curious to know your level..."
Beauty sighed and took the book from Alara's hands. She opened it at the first page and began to read aloud; I remained as frozen as the bookseller, for Beauty's accent was most excellent, pronouncing perfectly each accent. She was reading it fluently, without any hesitation and her soft voice was very pleasant to listen to.
"Extraordinary!" exclaimed the bookseller. "Miss Beauty, I have a job for you, if you want it: stay with me, here, in this bookshop. You would do miracles!"
"Beauty, would you accept to be my teacher in old languages?" asked Alara at the same time. "I thought I was going to give you some lessons, but you're much better than me! Say that you agree, Beauty, please!"
The girl looked successively at the bookseller and at Alara. She said to the first:
"Maybe I can come to help you from time to time. Let's say... Once or twice per week? What do you think of it?"
"It would be wonderful, miss Beauty!" said the man with fervour.
"Alara, I could teach you for the rest of week. Do you agree?"
"Of course, Beauty!"
She slipped her arm under Beauty's and failed to notice that the girl had stiffened.
"Tell me, Beauty, where do you live now?" she asked gleefully.
Beauty bit her lower lip and answered softly:
"I had a home, not so long ago... Now, I don't really know. But I don't live in the streets!" she finished fiercely, refusing to inspire pity.
"Well, you'll live at home, with me!" decided Alara. "That's not a favour! I would do the same for any of my teachers, that's only justice that you have it! And you're my friend, are you not? You told me so!"
"Of course, I'm your friend, Alara," said Beauty, soothing.
It was amazing to see how this girl, so young, was more mature than her fellow citizens.
"I didn't want to vex you," she added quickly, quite sheepish.
"So, you accept?" asked Alara eagerly.
"Yes, I accept," replied slowly Beauty.
"Oh! It's wonderful! You'll see, I'm sure you'll like my home. Do you know how to ride?" she said suddenly. "I love to ride!"
"Yes, I do," nodded Beauty, obviously quite used to Alara's sudden changes of subject.
"Is there something you don't know?" Alara teased her and I was surprised to see that she wasn't a bit jealous of Beauty.
The girl looked sadly toward the castle and whispered:
"How to be happy..."
I closed the eyes and, with a angry growl, I turned the magic mirror off. Sevulf looked at me with surprise and Stoat smiled proudly.
"I was sure you would find your own magic back too, master," she said softly.
"Why did you choose to enlighten the mirror on her?" I asked angrily.
"Before she's bound with us, master, and that would be pure foolishness to deny it. I know she's part of our life, of our world, and you know it too."
I nodded, acknowledging something I had refused till now: yes, Beauty was at the core of it all.
"What can we do, Stoat?"
"You need to recover all you magic, master. You were able to turn this mirror off, can you turn it on now?"
I frowned and concentrated on the mirror. He timidly lightened up on Chyraz's temple, in which Fra Vestris was patiently teaching how to read to the little boy I'd already seen. I recognised the story at once: it was the one of the Tiger Prince, my favourite when I was a child. The little boy looked up at the young priest and asked:
"Is the Prince of the story the same as the one in town, Fra Vestris?"
"Of course not, little one," said Fra Vestris, laughing. "It's only a fairy tale!"
Beauty entered the temple and exclaimed joyfully:
"Fra Vestris, Elan, listen! I found a work today! The bookseller wants me to work with me and Alara wants me to teach her the old languages!"
Fra Vestris stood up, forgetting the book that fell on the floor.
"Which old languages?" he asked, surprised.
"Well, she heard me reading ancient Greek and she wants me to teach her! She doesn't know for the other ones..." she finished, shrugging.
She bent down to take the book on the ground and smiled when seeing the title.
"The Tiger Prince! That's the book he used to teach me to read!" she said.
As soon as she pronounced those words, she lost all her joy and became sad. She bit her lower lip and looked at Fra Vestris with the look of the lost little girl. The priest nodded knowingly and managed to change the subject.
Once again, I closed the eyes and turned off the mirror. Why always Beauty? Why was this girl haunting me this way? She wasn't of a high birth, she was only the scrap of the street, even if she had managed to win the esteem of her fellow citizens and never I would care for such a girl. My mother would be horrified to know I had put my eyes on her. Stoat looked at me with a disgusted look and said in a low voice:
"If you're still able to think that, master, I'm ashamed to be the one to have brought you up. Such considerations are unworthy of you!"
With an offended look, she walked out the kitchens, letting me face the accusing gazes of my people. I shrugged and left too, going back into my rooms.
There was a book on my desk, a book that wasn't there before. Curious, I took it and read the title with bewilderment. It was a book about magic, but written in Sanskrit! I knew a bit this language, but not enough to read it in the text without the help of a dictionary. Naturally, my dictionary had disappeared and I was totally unable to find it again. Exasperated, I settled down in my armchair and began to read it even so, with a strange impression of déjà-vu. The first paragraph, that I deciphered quite laboriously, had a familiar resonance to me, but the voice I heard in my head was not mine, but the soft voice of a girl. The book fell from my hands when I came at the understanding: Beauty! Once again, her! She knew ancient Greek, with a beautiful accent I thought was lost for long; could it be that she knew Sanskrit too?
Quite naturally, I turned to the wall next to the one with the portraits and frowned when seeing there wasn't any mirror. I had an inarticulate word and a shining mirror appeared on the wall. Thinking again, I was aware I didn't even know the word I had said! It had come naturally to me, as if I had grown used to create magic mirrors on my walls. Another magic word and the mirror lightened to answer to my question: yes, Beauty was able to read Sanskrit, as I could note it when seeing her in the bookshop with a Sanskrit book in her hands.
I let the mirror go out and went back to my armchair. Undoubtedly, I still had my magic and I knew how to use it - provided that I didn't think how to use it - but what troubled me was the movement I had made toward the place for my mirror: it was obvious that, at a certain time, I had a magic mirror there and that I was used to question it for anything. I sighed and I took back my book. At the end of the first chapter, I was sure I had already read it - or heard it. I knew everything being in there, but somehow, my memory of how to use it had been erased - or someone had erased it. Why did I think immediately to the fairy?
I shook the head and laughed at myself. I was seeing evil where it wasn't. I thought suddenly to the reason why I wanted so badly to find my magic back: to know the truth. So many questions, so few answers! I had to find them by myself, with the help of my magic. As I didn't know exactly how to use it, I had to train and for that, I decided to first look for the one who clawed one of my horses on its rump. As soon as I decided it, I stood up and left my room. Outside the stables, a fierce look on his face, was Eponerius and his eyebrows remained frown when seeing me.
"What's the matter, Eponerius?" I asked immediately, fearing another mystery.
"Another attack against the horses, master," he said with his low voice.
"How bad? Did you call the green witch?"
"I don't think she can do something for the poor beast. He had been clawed to death, master."
I closed my eyes, repulsed.
"Where is it?"
"Behind the stables. The mare clawed on her rump was already wild, but now, she's almost crazy. If the mysterious aggressor continues so, I'll have to kill her."
Eponerius' voice was half-choked, for he loved horses as I loved roses and the death of one horse was worse for him than his own death. I went behind the stables to look at the dead body. I examined the marks of the claws and I noticed the position of the thumb. It was exactly as Beauty had said it should be; if she was right and if it was really someone trying to accuse her monster, her words hadn't fallen on deaf ears. But if it really was this monster who was somehow taking his revenge on me... he would pay dearly for this!
"Eponerius, go to the town and fetch the green witch," I ordered.
"I want to stay here to protect the horses," he said.
"Do as I tell you, Eponerius," I sighed. "Maybe she can soothe the mare and so, you won't have to kill it."
This argument convinced him and he left, but only after I had promised to him I would stay in front of the door until his return.
The way to town wasn't very long and obviously, Fra Vestris had more than one horse, for both Eponerius and Beauty were mounted when they arrived. Beauty's horse was the same grey one as this very morning.
"What happened?" she asked anxiously. "Eponerius told me a horse is dead."
"Yes, come with me."
I showed her the body, without caring about her young age or something like that. She didn't seemed repulsed at all and knelt beside the body, stroking the wounds with her fingertips. She had a bitter smile.
"It's always gratifying to see that one takes my remarks into account," she said with acidity, frowning.
She stood up and entered the stables, going straight to the wounded mare. The beast rolled the eyes and stepped back. Beauty began to hum softly and moved slowly, careful not to frighten it.
"Hush, little one," she said gently with a low voice. "Hush, I'm not here to harm you, I'll help you to the contrary... Here, let me see that wound of yours..."
From her pocket she took a small pot of balm she spread on the wound. The mare started, but Beauty was still soothing it with her voice and gestures.
"Here, you see, that's not so terrible! Now, you'll be a grown girl and be still, huh?"
She took the big head in her little hands and looked at the mare straight in the eyes.
"Listen to me, little one. I promise you, I swear to you that no one will harm you again till I'm alive. I'm a green witch, I have some powers and I can protect you. Do you believe me?"
A flutter of the eyelids from the mare was the only answer Beauty needed.
"And you trust me?" she asked then.
Again, an eyelid flutter.
"Very well. I'll protect you and your friends," she said solemnly.
She stroke gently the mare's nostrils and turned toward Eponerius and me.
"I'll need some herbs to do the charm."
"Which charm are you talking about?" I asked.
"The charm I just promised to this poor beast. If I don't do something quickly, she'll be afraid again and this time, nothing could soothe her."
"You're not serious! This mare didn't understand a single word of what you said!"
"Of course she did!" said Beauty indignant. "This mare is very clever and she... Well, that's not important. I'll leave to fetch the herbs. I can trust you to remain here till I'm back, Eponerius?"
The big man nodded. Confusedly, he felt that he should know Beauty better than he did and Eponerius had always trusted his instinct. No one could have forced him to do something if his instinct had told him the contrary. Beauty left at once, on her grey horse, the reins of the other horse clenched in her little fist.
She was quickly back, a herbal pouch at her belt. From her saddle bags, she took a wooden bowl, where she poured some powder and some herbs, then she stubbed out the whole. At the end, she had obtained a fine powder she spread all around the stables and in front of every stall door.
"There!" she said with a satisfied accent. "Normally, they are safe!"
"How can you be so sure?" asked Eponerius, uncertainty in his voice.
Beauty stepped into the powder circle and said to him:
"Try to attack me. Don't be afraid, I won't be harmed. Try it!"
Reluctant, Eponerius tried to hit her with his fist, but, to his great surprise, his fist couldn't reach her: it was blocked two inches before her face and she was looking at him, smiling.
"Extraordinary!" he said with a admiring voice.
"That's nothing, just a green witch's trick. He can do much more and so do you."
By saying 'he', for once, she wasn't referring to her monster, but to me. I looked surprised and she added:
"You still haven't found your magic back, my lord? I don't believe it. I know you have it. You should be able to find it again very soon."
"I remember some little things," I admitted.
She nodded and mounted her grey horse, ready to take her leave.
"Beauty! You know how to read Sanskrit, don't you?"
"Yes, I do," she agreed.
"Have you ever read this book?" I asked, producing the magic book I was studying.
I saw her becoming troubled and she pursed her lips. Then, with a great effort, she said:
"Yes, my lord, I've read it. In this very castle, if you really want to know. But I can't tell you more about this. You have to find by yourself. Find your magic back and you'll be free."
She released her grip on her reins and her grey horse rushed into a gallop.
Taking her last words for an encouragement, I went back to my rooms and studied again the book in Sanskrit. Strangely, the words I didn't know didn't disturb me at all for, at this end of the sentence, I knew exactly what the author wanted to say and I understood even the subtleties - and there were many of them in this book. While reading, I tried some little tricks, very simple, but it pleased me to see that I was able to remember the words. I began to feel the power running through my veins, but it seemed to me there was something - or someone - trying to stop me, but I didn't care. I absorbed myself entirely in that task of reading this book again and again, until I knew it by heart. And then, I was sure I had my magic back. I played a bit with my mirror, to be sure of my powers. I was again the powerful magician I had been once! Now, my quest for truth could begin, now, I was free! Beauty had said it and I believed her, even if I didn't know what I was free from.
My first care as a new magician was to discover the author of the mistreatments on my horses. I went in the stables and cast a powerful spell. The shape of the guilty person appeared in front of me; though it was quite indistinct, it was precise enough to allow me to recognise a monster looking in an astonishing way to Beauty's monster. So, in spite of her denials, he was guilty! Oh, how I hated him for that! I didn't know him, but it seemed to me that he was responsible for everything. I was sure of it now, he probably had trapped us all, my people and me, in my own castle, and his death had freed us. Now, enraged by our victory, even from death's kingdom, he tried to harm us. What did he want? Was he trying to reach Beauty through us?
I swore to myself I would never let him harm Beauty, nor anyone else. A monster had no place in the human world, so he was due to die. And once dead, he should remain dead. I would not accept insubordination in my kingdom, even from a dead monster! I laughed at that thought: the way I had formulated it was so funny! I would not let him disturb the quiet life of my land. If I had to find a spell to kill a spirit, I would find it and send him to rest peacefully in death's kingdom.
I decided to wait, so I would see if there were other manifestations of a ghostly presence in this castle. Of course, old castles were always reputed for having a ghost, but somehow, I thought that a magician and a ghost couldn't get on well together. One of them had to leave and I was decided not to be this one. Then, if there were other manifestations, I would first go to see Fra Vestris, for Chyraz didn't like very much to see races disappearing, so perhaps his priest could do something to drive away the ghost without killing him or, at last, to make him harmless. And if there weren't any way to do so, I would kill him again! I had enough hate in me to do that to him, even if I hardly knew it. It would be hard for Beauty, of course, but why would I care for her opinion? She was only a plain girl and I had to think first at the security of my people.
"Yes," I thought fiercely, "I declare war upon you, monster! We'll see which one of us is the best!"
I was quite self-confident: what could do a dead monster against a living magician? But I didn't think for a second that I wasn't fair. It was war and fairness hadn't its place in such a battle. I would wait one month and then, I would track him and kill him without mercy. I didn't want to know what mercy was for him. I hated him beyond reason and only that mattered.
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Text © Azrael 2000.
Madari. Copyright © Nene Thomas 1993.
Set Hour Time, from Moyra/Mystic PC.
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