Secrets Revealed
“Welcome back to the show. Today’s topic
is Gay Weddings. We will be marrying several gay couples right here on
stage. Let’s meet our first guest, Brian Molko. Now Brian, I was
under the impression that you were already married, and to two different men.”
Brian smiled and smoothed the skirt of short silver wedding dress. “Well,
sort of. I’m not really married to either of my husbands, not yet
anyway. I just call them that because our relationships have always been
so much like a marriage. But now that me and my Stefan have fallen in love
we decided it was time to make it official.”
“Alright, but before we get to the wedding let’s meet your best man and band
mate, Steve Hewitt.”
Steve came onstage, nodding politely to the cheer he was receiving, and sat down
next to the blushing bride. Brian squeezed his hand and leaned over to
peck a quick kiss to his cheek.
“Now Steve,” Jerry said, stroking his chin in a gesture that made it look
like he actually gave a shit about what was happening onstage, “before Brian
gets married, you have a secret you’d like to reveal to him, don’t you?”
“Yes I do,” Steve took a deep breath and swung his chair around to face
Brian. “This is something I’ve kept from you guys for years and it’s
time you knew. I’m a cross dresser.”
Brian’s jaw dropped as Steve stood and stripped off his shirt and pants,
revealing a lacey black bra, panty, and garter ensemble beneath. “That’s
my underwear!” Brian screeched, his eyes fixed on the too small item of
clothing stretched tight across Steve’s crotch.
Steve ran his hands up and down his body, “I can’t help it. I just
love the feel of the fabric against my skin and the way the panties hug my ass
when I sit on my drum stool.”
“Well why didn’t you say so sooner? We wouldn’t care, you know that.
You can walk around the bus in that outfit anytime,” Brian gave his
drummer a sexy wink.
“But that’s not all, is it Steve?” Jerry goaded.
“No it’s not,” Steve sat back down and took Brian’s hands, looking him
in the eyes. “Brian, Stefan and I have been sleeping together for the
past 3 months. I love him and I’m going to ask him to marry ME today.”
While Brian sat in shocked silence, Jerry called for Stefan to take the stage.
Stefan strolled on, leaning down to give Steve a deep, sexy kiss. Brian
hissed and leaped at them, pulling Steve’s hair and shouting “You straight
bastard! He’s mine!” The security guard pulled the screaming
nancy boy off him, Brian’s legs kicking wildly and one of his glittery
platforms flew off and hit one of the audience members.
Steve and Stefan cuddled and held hands while the security team tried to talk
Brian into calming down. Once he’d stopped screeching and trying to
pounce on them, Steve slipped from his chair and onto one knee. He
produced a ring box and held it up. “Stefan, you sexy Swedish bastard,
will you marry me?”
Stefan’s face broke into a smile and he grabbed the drummer’s hand. “No.”
Steve’s face fell and Brian let out a squeal of glee, jumping up and down
shouting “Nah nah nah nah nah, Stefan wants meeeeeeee!” in Steve’s
direction.
“I don’t want either of you prissy bitches,” Stef said. “Both of
you are too girly for me. But when I ran into Steve’s ex-girlfriend last
month and found out she’d turned into a bull-dyke, it was love at first
sight.”
“Let’s bring out Stefan’s girlfriend, Jess!” There were boos and
hisses as a woman in baggy jeans and a backwards baseball cap came running on
stage. She looked around, spotted Steve, and jumped on top of him,
knocking his chair back as she landed. Brian joined in the struggle,
landing hits and punches on both of them. Security finally got the three
of them pulled apart and Jess and Stefan sat kissing and groping while Steve and
Brian glared at them.
Having had enough, Brian stood up and announced. “I fucking came here to
get married and I’m not leaving without a husband!” He did a slow
turn, scanning the audience and all of the Molko clones screaming to be picked.
“You!” he announced, walking forward and grabbing the arm of the bald
security guard Steve.
They headed to the cheap little altar, Brian smiling and snuggling against the
guard’s muscular chest. They both said their ‘I dos’ and shared a
long, deep kiss. Steve the guard scooped Brian into his arms and carried
him backstage.
And they all lived dysfunctionally ever after.