"A MSTing of FF9 by Rosette - Chaper 2"
FF9 MSTing - Chapter 2
[The words "ALEXANDRIA CASTLE" appear on the screen, as Zidane follows Blank out of the room. In the next scene, they're in the castle, outside of the room they just left]
Selphie: Wow, really? Isn’t that something... I am so lost... inside the castle... outside the room they just left...
Blank
"According to recon..."
"...the royal seats should be right above these stairs!"
Squall: Yeah, they just hover in midair like that...
Zidane
"Got it!"
Carla: Eh? Snitch?
[A quick crowd-cheer is heard]
Red XIII (Zidane as Harry Potter): At least I didn’t swallow it this time... and get that freak Lockheart away from my arm I LIKE my bones! No autographs, please...
Tifa: HEY!
Blank
"Uh-oh! The scene where Marcus sneaks into Cornelia's chamber is about to start!"
Seifer (as Blank): And we all know what happened LAST time he did that...
"Let's get this over with before the finale, okay?"
*All the boys but Squall snicker*
Seifer: Wasn’t it Kenickie who said it only took 15 minutes, what else do you do for the remaining 23 hours and 45 minutes of the day? Heh eh heh
[Zidane runs up a set of stairs, as someone else, face hidden, opens a set of doors and runs forward. The two of them stop, avoiding a collision]
Carla (as Zidane): Mother...?
Zidane
(Hmm? She sure is dressed funny...)
Aeris: Um have you looked at yourself lately, you have a freaken TAIL for gawd sakes!
Hooded Girl
"Umm... Would you please let me pass?"
Zell: Hey I wonder if she’s related to Pointy Hat Boy in any way?
Cyan: *snorts* Mages, they’re all the same
Zidane
"Hmm..."
Tifa (as Zidane): You know, orange isn’t really your colour... It doesn’t match your eyes tsk tsk tsk and that HAIR!
[Choose between "Let her pass" or "Examine her face". Neither choice matters, but, choosing the second one makes it more interesting]
Seifer (as Zidane): Heh heh heh... examination time...*snaps on a latex surgeons glove*
Carla: Mmmm interesting? (as Garnet) Why how dare you, don’t you know who I am! *slap* ... now kiss me!
Zidane
"Let's see..."
Zell (as Zidane): Yeeeeeep I’m afraid it’s bad darling, that is the WORST thing I have ever seen on a person’s face all in my years of being a Medical Practitioner
Hooded Girl
"Is there something on my face?"
Carla: EGG!
Zidane
"Oh, no. You see..."
Squall: I just thought if I stared at you hard enough you’d go out with me... did it work?
Rinoa (as Garnet): No...
Squall: Maybe if I just-
Rinoa: NO
Squall: Well it worked LAST time...
Rinoa: *Sticks out tongue* *sidles closer to Cloud on the couch* *Both Tifa and Aeris eyeing her*
"I just thought maybe you were the one I'd been waiting for all this time."
Squall: AHA! See, he wants a date... *winks*
Hooded Girl
"Excuse me? You were waiting for me?"
Aeris (as Zidane): Yes you see, it’s all in the stars... It all started when I was 14... A gipsy woman with large glasses and lots of jewellery skilled in the magical art of Divination told me I would find my love under the harvest moon when the planets were in the lineal alignment... Also that my pending doom would follow closely the following day in a freak incident involving a flying boat, a forest and some gigantic creepy bugs, so you see... It’s all figured out!
Zidane
"Yeah! I've dreamt of meeting you here ever since I was born!"
Aeris: *shrugs* Close enough
Hooded Girl
"Do you mock me?"
Seifer(as Martin Lawrence from Black Night): Do YOU mock ME?
Squall (playing along): PREPARE TO TASTE THE STEEL OF MY GUNBLADE!
*Seifer sticks out tongue*
Zidane
"No, of course not..."
Seifer: Not YET anyway, just wait until you try your so called "White magic" for HEALING, you useless bloody mage!
Hooded Girl
"Then, I shall take my leave of you!"
Cyan (with little dignity): Nay my good lady, it is the TREE that you shall take leave off eth!
*Everyone just kind of shuffles away from Cyan again*
Cyan: *despairing groan* I’m all alone, there’s no one here be-siiiiide meeee...
[She tries to walk by, but Zidane blocks her way]
Tifa: (A nice, yet cheap imitation of "Toll Booth Willy") TOLL! $2.50 for cars using the Motor way, $3.50 for Trucks and buses and trailers but for you My Dear, $1 because you look lost. Have fun on the M5 and don’t forget every 2 hours to Stop, Revive and Survive!
Squall: Drink driving, it’s a crime...
Seifer: God, I need a drink...
Zidane
"Just a sec!"
Zell (as Zidane): I know you now! *Squeal* can I have your autograph! Olivia Hussey! I simply ADORED your role in Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet!
*Garnet looks scared*
"Haven't we met before?"
Aeris (as Garnet still looking scared): No that was not me in that boat in the beginning I SWEAR by the life of the Alexandros bloodline and the Baskerville’s boarhound!
Hooded Girl
"No, I do not know you..."
Selphie (as Garnet): SECURITY! Arrest this have-not I have the Romeo and Juliet sequel to get to! Baz Luhrmann promised me a role in his sequel, seeing how his version looked a lot cooler than Franco Zeffirelli’s...
Zidane
"Hmm..."
*Zidane starts humming the Waltz For the Moon*
Squall (imitating Julian/Zell): STEALER WRECKER!
*Rosette/Rinoa materialises out of nowhere*
R/R: NJJN! (No Julian Just No)
J/Z: STEALER WRECKER!!! GO HOME TO YOUR OOMPA LOOMPA HOOKER ARMY!
"Maybe you're right... I'd never let someone as pretty as you get away."
Seifer: Mwah... lucky I carry handcuffs with me 24/7... who said S&M went out of fashion?
"Say, you wouldn't-"
Seifer: Happen to have a hot friend with you under that cloak?
Zell: Know the answer to 4 across in today’s Daily Telegraph’s crossword?
Cid: Have any company tonight and make great tea?
Cyan: Be taken? *arches eyebrow*
Seifer: Be cheap and available for an hour? *winks*
*Gets a well deserved slap from Selphie*
Carla: *cynically* Have a brain and/or dignity? *all girls nod furiously*
Zell: Awww... it was my turn next
[Blank runs part of the way up the stairs]
Carla: Why’d he stop?
Tifa: Cuz he’s BLANK
All: ...
Blank
"Hey, what's goin' on, Zidane?"
Seifer: Why didn’t you tell me you were harvesting all the good broads for ya self... C’mon, share, play nice!
Squall: Why would I wanna share the pretty girl of my dreams and fortune with you?
Seifer: So you’ve never even considered having a- *Squall shaking head furiously* ... really? Never? Liar... Well, it’s already happened once... why not again *wry smile*
*Squall fumes*
Hooded Girl
"I..."
Carla (as Garnet): I-I-it sounds kinky, I’m in!
Ya know... while we’re ON the subject of us three...
Squall: NO!! *Runs out of the room red faced* *Seifer laughing* *Seifer stops and suddenly looks interested at Carla*
*Rinoa looks at Seifer questioningly, in time to see him cop the Strange Vision in the head again*
"I must go!"
Seifer: You and Squall both honey!
[She runs past Zidane, spinning him around,
Selphie (as Kylie Minogue): *singing* I’m spinning around, move outta my waaaaay!
Tifa: Nooooo... not this song again... nooo ...my EARS they BURN!
then past Blank,
Aeris (as Garnet): You know, you ought to get a clue
down the stairs]
Rinoa: She came down the Stairway FROM Heaven... did it hurt when they clipped your wings honey? Or when the pitchfork was prodded into your backside?
Blank
"Who the heck was that!?"
Zell: (as Blank) SHE WAS HOT!
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