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Q: What has 1000 legs and 8 teeth?
A: A parade of rednecks.
One day there were two men walking down a dirt path. One of them had a big potato sack over his shoulder. The other decided to ask what was in the sack. When he asked, the man said, ''I got me some chickens for dinner tonight. Mmm Mmm Mmm... Chicken sure sounds good tonight.'' The other one wanted to know how many chickens were in the sack. ''Well I'll tell you,'' replied the man, ''If you can guess how many chickens I got in this here sack I'll give them both to you.''
Q: What do you call a bunch of tractors parked in front of a McDonalds on Friday night in Iowa?
A: Prom.
If a man and a woman get married in Arkansas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?
This guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orderes a mudslide. The bartender looks at the man and says "You're not from round here are ya?" "No" replied the man, "I'm from Pensylvania." The bartender looks at him and syas "Well what do you do in Pensylvania?" "I'm a taxidermist." said the man. The bartender, looking very bewildered, now asked "What in the world is a tax-e-derm-ist?" The man looked at the bar tender and said "Well, I mount dead animals." The bartender stands back and hollers to the whole bar which is staring at him "It's okay, boys! He's one of us!"
Bubba died in a fire and his body was burned pretty bad. The morgue needed someone to identify the body, so his two best friends, Daryl and Gomer were sent for. Daryl went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Daryl said, ''Yup, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over.'' The mortician rolled him over, and Daryl said, ''Nope, ain't Bubba.'' The mortician thought that was rather strange. Then he brought Gomer in to identify the body. Gomer took a look at him and said, ''Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over.'' The mortician rolled him over and Gomer said, ''No, it ain't Bubba.'' The mortician asked, ''How can you tell?'' Gomer said, ''Well, Bubba had two assholes.'' ''What? He had two assholes?'' said the mortician. ''Yup, everyone in town knew he had two assholes. Every time we went to town, folks would say, 'Here comes Bubba with them two assholes.''