Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, and 5.
If you are paraniod-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line and we will trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, stay on the line and listen...a little voice will tell you what to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
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