More Blonde Jokes

A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles she had on her car. "235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. But the blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped the miles. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are only 40,000 miles on it!"


A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. "Darn, he recognized me," she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?" "Because that's a microwave," he replied.


A blonde walks into the hairdresser with headphones on. She asks the woman working there for a haircut. The blonde sits down in the chair. The woman takes the blonde's headphones off and cuts her hair. At the end, the woman asks how she likes her hair but, to her surprise the blonde is dead! The woman picks up the headphones and listens. She hears: “Breathe in...breathe out...breathe in...breathe out."


What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
A Frosted Flake.

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?
Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.

How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?
Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

What did the blonde's one leg say to the other?
Nothing. They've never met before.

Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? She kept having affairs with men!

How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
Wave!

A lawyer and a blonde were sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leaned over and asked the blond if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and moves closer to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists, saying the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains how the game works: "I ask you a question, and if you know the answer you pay me, and vice versa. Again, she declines and tries to sleep. The chauvinistic lawyer figures that since his opponent is a blond he will easily win the match, so he makes another offer: "Okay, how about this. If you know the answer you pay me only $5.00, but if I don't know the answer I'll pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and figures there is no way to end this torment unless she plays. The lawyer asks the first question: "What is the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer puzzles over this, pulls out his laptop and consults all internet sources, calls his law library, but finally gives up and pulls five one hundred dollar bills from his wallet. The blonde accepts them and turns to take her nap. The lawyer says "Wait, what is the answer?" The blonde opens her wallet and hands him a five dollar bill.

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