Emulated Perceptions | Tactile | Daggerfall | Infantile | Deception | Fulfillment | Impulses | Restitution | Midnight Sun
I have been sleeping but now I’m awake
Seeing colors of life for the first time
My eyes sees what others colors they take
I cannot describe this color of mine.
And they see through me but I am not clear
Their perception’s dull and can’t be revived
Will they see my color when I’m all clear?
I am this color I cannot describe
But you’ve seen these colors asleep dreaming
Now that I’m awake the colors make sense
The colors speak and they have been screaming
There is some beauty in this dissonance.
My color not clear and it’s in my thought
Asleep; my color, thought make you distraught
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Looking at this hand I realize the humanity
Inside its skin lies its structure of marrow and bone
Wrapped with moist muscle its red juices are flowing
Move a finger it ripples the skin
The ligaments tighten become stressed forming an impression
An impression of action, an impression of humanity
Oh how would it feel to tear that flesh off and gaze at what’s inside?
Peer inside that human concave and look at the juices
Feel the muscle move across your bone
Expose it to air, feel it move through its muscle fibers
Open it up to this reality
Let it experience raw feeling without the filter tissue
Reach into that skin and pull a vein out and see what color you bleed
Paint yourself with your blood
With your own humanity and look to see
What makes you bleed this humanly way
Feel the pain of experience
Feel the opposites equal
All this pain when life begins
All you gain is what you live
Life is but experiences
Tear the leaden skin
Leave your scar on humanity
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Stick the knife in will you
Show me how much love you have for me...
I'll stick the knife in for you to show my love for you...
I'll beat myself too
Just to show you
That My threshold of pain is more
More than you can yield with the dagger
And I'll beat myself till I'm battered and bruised and spitting blood
So I can show you I can take much more
More than you yield with the dagger
So I can show my love for you...
Why? Cuz you care to little to deal the damage
And why do I care enough to do it for you?
So I'll show my love for you
I'll stick the knife in and beat myself a little...
My compassion is too much
My love is too much
My lamentation is just too much
And the Beauty of it all is to little
And I can't let you stand by helplessly wielding the dagger in your hand
With a look of pity upon your face
I look upon those eyes
I realize I should have cried by now
I should have died by now
I should have bled by now
I will help you
take this dagger from you and stick it in...
Why? Cuz your compassion is too little
Your love is to little
Your tenderness is just too little
And the apathy of it all is too much
So I'll do it for you
Because this is my love
This is my love for you
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Can you love me when I’m empty inside
Can you love me when I have nothing to give
Can you love even me though I can’t feel you
There’s no love from this…
Blackened hole empty abyss
But I’m too apathetic too apathetic for this
I have no love till I’m touched
And it’ll all be over
Release me from the womb that I burrowed myself
Make me gasp for a breath of air
I’m breathing I’m breathing…choking…and breathing
Lying on the floor
I will feel nothing till I’m touched but before then…
Can you love me when I’m empty inside
Can you love me when I have nothing to give
Can you love even me though I can’t feel you
Naked and slipping on my abniotic fluids
Eyes closed body trembling
This experience is shivering
Can’t stop trembling
Touch me, touch me, touch me
Mothering warmth pulsating through my body
Your touch sent me teeming through this first shivering experience and kept me alive
Through this infantile vunerability
Love this infant here before you but before then
Can you love me? Can you love me?
Even through my womb that I can only feel so little
Can you love me?
Even though I can’t touch you…from this womb
Can you love me?
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I’m talking with death
I feel my throat decay with every breath I take
The only thing that lives is my bones
I feel alive when I’m dead inside
Micro-organism feasting on my rotten flesh
I’m filled with life
The putrid smell of my innards exposed
This is the smell of my life
This is my birth for life
When I die I feel alive…I feel alive
When I’m alive I feel decay
My flesh is breaking, falling, turning to liquid
My insides turn to a stew of foul aromas
The blood that flows through my veins is black and tainted
I’m giving birth to diseases
This is how I know
I feel alive when I’m dead inside
Micro-organism feasting on my rotten flesh
I’m filled with life
The putrid smell of my innards exposed
This is the smell of my life
This is my birth for life
When I die I feel alive…I feel alive
My eyes turn white and shrivel
My hair ash and brittle
Bile spitting out my mouth
I’m rotten green with life
I’ve given birth to life
At the expense of little parasites and…
I feel cheated and drained of my vitality
By thieving little parasites feasting on my flesh
I’m filled with decay
The putrid smell of deception exposed
This is the smell of death
This is the birth of death
When I rot and die…they thrive
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Like to touch that innocence
Would like to smell your spice
I’ve been wanting so much for so long
Time to give me your body and perverted mind
You see I want to rape you
And I want you to enjoy it
I want you to feel me with a smile on your face
It’s your spice I want to taste
Looking at you innocent girls
Something inside me wants you
Wants you to have a dark innocent side
Where you wear kinky clothes
And you do the most perverted things
And I would like you like that
The fact that you’re innocent
Makes it all the more demented
Demented enough where I can rape you
And you like it and you return the favor
This is how I would like you ladies and girls
Naked in a bed for one
Fitting in the both of us
Where your hair is moist and down
Your skin glistening with sweat
Running down the crevice of your breast
Makes you ladies and girls beautiful in a whole new way
Looking at me with that evil lustful grin with those wild eyes
This is how I want you…This is how I want you
I want to meet all you promiscuous ladies out there
Where strangers fuck at a moments notice
Where you can be walking and at any given second
You’ll come on by asking me take you home or in a car
And strip you to your skin
Where we will play like the rabbits
And fuck like the dogs
And I would like you like that
The fact that it’s spontaneous sex
Makes it all the more exciting
Exciting enough where I can have sex with strangers
And everywhere I go we’re all rabbits and dogs
This is how I would like you ladies and girls
Naked in a bed for one
Fitting in the both of us
Where your hair is moist and down
Your skin glistening with sweat
Running down the crevice of your breast
Makes you ladies and girls beautiful in a whole new way
Looking at me with that evil lustful grin with those wild eyes
This is how I want you…This is how I want you
Maybe there is something to save from all this
Till then this is how I want you
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I’ve got one body I have one mind and even though I’m one being I have feelings that seem to come from masses of people within.
I’m a microcosmic being who can’t control his little world. Their suggestions simulate my impulse. I’ve lost rationality and reason and running on feeling. I’m running on impulse it’s all that’s left and what could be next is a suspenseful surprise.
Because I’m capable of anything now. I’ve have to many, feelings, emotions it’s got me on impulse because it’s all to overwhelming for the mind. Then…
I lost control. I lost my mind.
I don’t care because I’m feeling fine.
I’m running on impulse. That one tingling feeling
Tingling impulses
I’ll do what I’ve been wanting, should’ve been doing
And I’ll do it in ignorant bliss
Call it erratic behavior all I’m doing is catching up
I’ll do it all in a spontaneous push
Because all these sensation have led to impulses
I can’t control my body. I’ve lost my mind and I’m being run by feelings that seems to flow from masses of people called impulses.
Every suppressed feeling makes a little person that wants to be heard, and I have a mob, a riot of the masses.
I’ve got impulses and a body and running on urges. I’m running on ignorance and it’s all I want and what could be next is spontaneous fun.
Because it’s all I want now. I’ve had too much suppressed sensations it’s got me made into a man of ignorant desires all it took was some time. Then…
I lost control. I lost my mind.
I don’t care because I’m feeling fine.
I’m running on impulse. That one tingling feeling
Tingling impulses
I’ll do what I’ve been wanting, should’ve been doing
And I’ll do it in ignorant bliss
Call it erratic behavior all I’m doing is catching up
I’ll do it all in a spontaneous push
Because all these sensation have led to impulses
It’s time to cry. Time to scream, yell, and do what I like; I’ll do what I want with whomever, wherever, and whenever I please. Time to set my mind, my body, and my feelings at ease. Give the masses what they want, satisfy, pacify my teeming impulses. I’ll take what I want because it’s what I need. Every desire and impulse has become a necessity and they need to be pleased.
I can do anything now. I’m capable of anything now. I’m ignorant now. I just want satisfaction now.
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Thinking deeper, Thinking deeper
Because I have to find some restitution for the apathetic existence I’ve been living
Have to give my life some meaning
So I have to think deeper, think deeper
And it’s draining me
Tearing me
Killing me, Killing me, Killing me
I need restitution
But it’s slipping away
Away, away
And I have fingers to point
But my hands are two
The fingers are few
And it’s apparent that there is something I must do
Thinking deeper, Thinking deeper
Because I have to find some restitution for the apathetic existence I’ve been living
Have to give my life some meaning
So I have to think deeper, think deeper
And it’s draining me
Tearing me
Killing me, Killing me, Killing me
You see there are people I have to deal with
People like you
Who lie, cheat, and steal
Disguising yourself in your cloak of deception
I have to deal with you
Because you’re a pestilent infestation upon my fertile land
And I have the sickle
I must protect my land
For the crops here are fruitful
And you want to destroy them
You take what is mine
I don’t want to deal with you people
If you are people
This is the existence you give me
This is the existence you cheat me from
Everyday you bastards cheat me out of something
Everyday, and it gets burdening
Withering me, I need to justify my life
I need restitution
But it’s slipping away
Away, away
And I have fingers to point
But my hands are two
The fingers are few
And it’s apparent that there is something I must do
Thinking deeper, Thinking deeper
Because I have to find some restitution for the apathetic existence I’ve been living
Have to give my life some meaning
So I have to think deeper, think deeper
And it’s draining me
Tearing me
Killing me, Killing me, Killing me
People are no longer a plural of person
But a way of living
Dangerous by many and a danger by one
People lie, cheat, and steal
They wither my existence
People just never die
There are always people
And I always have my sickle of restitution
Take back what is mine
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It’s a sunless day and I feel at ease
Gazing at the midnight sun
My troubles surface a little and seem to wither away
It’s a cool sunless day
The sky is dark blue and purple
Everything’s still like a picture and I drift away
It’s these sunless days my thoughts come together
Floating away into the endless sky
It’s so tranquil even the stars sleep
When you look up your left to wonder about yourself
(chorus)
Everyone’s gone, my troubles are free like this barren earth
And it seems it can go on forever
If only it could stay night
And the moon can shine bright
Everyone will be gone forever
The world sedated
The stars are asleep and can’t be fated
I can run, hide, and play like the wild fox
Because this night is mine
My only fear is that day will come
By the light of the midnight sun
And the freedom of the night
I can float away in this vast medium
I live only moment by moment
For this night I’m the main character
Writing my own plot
As I walk and live my night
I have the freedom to make anything happen
Like the writer and his pen scribbling his book
My only worries are when day comes
Pouring its weighted rays upon me
Spreading its dull shine on every surface
Everything the night has given me is lost, stolen, and made imperfect
And I lay dormant
Waiting for the night to break free these rays of constraints
I can roam free
(Chorus)
Everyone’s gone, my troubles are free like this barren earth
And it seems it can go on forever
If only it could stay night
And the moon can shine bright
Everyone will be gone forever
The world sedated
The stars are asleep and can’t be fated
I can run, hide, and play like the wild fox
Because this night is mine
My only fear is that day will come
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