_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Mary’s eye’s narrowed and the room grew dark, excluding the area directly around her which mysteriously grew brighter.

“Who‘s playing with the lights again?!” The Professor yelled.

“It all started when I was a child.” Mary started.

“I asked something!” The Professor said again, ignoring Mary.

“As a child, I had a very abusive family. My mother was an alcoholic and my father was Sabretooth.” She continued.

“Damn it! I need to WORK here!” The Professor said as he scoped out the circuit breakers.

“After Logan, my step brother whom I was in love with at the time, left to join the military, I followed him. I got lost and the leprechauns helped me. They took me to their cookie making factory where I discovered I was a mutant.”

“Alright, I‘m PISSED!” The Professor screamed as he came back into the room.

“But because I didn‘t make the kind of cookies they did, they banished me from their hallowed out tree. That‘s when I met Kurt Wagner. His monastery helped me out.”

“Do you know where I can circuit breakers?” The Professor asked me (he he he, I‘m back!)

“Shut up and listen to Mary‘s lame story! At least feign interest!” I yelled at him.

“But after his monastery was destroyed, I had to leave. That‘s when I turned sixteen.” Mary continued, not even noticing that no one was listening. “That‘s when I discovered I was a Mary Sue. I developed faster then anyone I ever met before. My voice was perfect. Even my farts smelled good! It was horrible!” Mary started to cry.

“There, there, Mary.” The Professor comforted her.

“My name‘s not Mary! It‘s BERTHA!” She screamed.

“Do you want to continue with the story?” I asked. The Professor silently waved his hands and mouthed ‘NO’ frantically.

“Yes.” She replied.

“DAMN IT!”

“What‘s wrong with him?”

“I CAN‘T TAKE IT ANYMORE! HA HA HA! LOOK! A BIRDY!” The Professor screamed as he jumped out of the window.

From outside, Warren said “What is this? Catch the X-Men day?”

Suddenly, the real Rogue could be heard. “THAT‘S MAH LINE!”

“What are you talkin‘ about?”

“Ah said it in the cartoon!”

“You mean the one where you‘re a teenager?”

“Someone call meh?” Another voice could be heard, sounding much like a southern accent.

“Not you! GET OUT OF HERE YOU FREAK!”

“HEY! Don‘t yell at her!” I yelled from the window.

“Shut up you!”

“Yes Ma‘am.”

There was sounds of fighting, rustling, and zooming around. All the while the Professor screamed “LOOK! I‘M A BIRDY TOO!”

Suddenly, Logan burst into the room. “Mary! I‘m callin’ ya out!”

Mary turned and stared at him, then finally said, “When?”

“Now! Danger room!”

“See ya in a sec, hon!”

“Don‘t call me that!”

“*AH CHOO*”

“What‘s wrong with her?”

“She‘s got allergies. Is Beast around?”

“I‘m right here!” He said, sticking his head in through the door.

“*AH CHOO*”

“What‘s wrong with her?”

“She‘s got allergies, didn‘t I just say that?” I sighed.

“*AH CHOO*”

“Where‘d Beast go?” Logan asked.

“No one knows...” I said in a mysterious voice.

“*AH CHOO*”

“You can stop that now Mary.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“YOU! NOW! DANGER ROOM!” Logan shouted again.

“Ya know, mes amis, Remy t’ink he need a shower.” Gambit said as he walked into the office with nothing but a towel on.

Outside, a horde of girls could be heard shouting and whooping.

“Where‘d they come from? Isn‘t there security here?”

“YOU! NOW! DANGER ROOM!”

“I‘M A BIRDY!!”

“GET BACK HERE YOU SISSY!”

“TWEET TWEET!”

“YOU! NOW! DANGER ROOM!”

“*AH CHOO*”

“Oh, dis shower feel so good on Remy’s naked body.”

Silence.

“What? It does?”

“Wait, where‘s dat comin‘ from? Remy right ‘ere!”

“No, I‘m right here.”

“No, I‘m right here.”

*BZAAAP*

“SCOTT! YOU KILLED ONE OF THEM!”

“What? We only need one. The other one‘s just outside.”

“But his towel‘s right here.”

Outside screams of terror from one man, and thousands of screams of delight from girls and women were heard.

“YOU! NO-”

“WE GET THE POINT!”

Suddenly there was a blast of wind.

“Whoop, there go Remy‘s towel.”

Everyone heard an evil snicker which sounded a lot like Storm.

“Wow, no wonder everyone likes him.” Logan said as he turned his head sideways.

“REMY! HOW COULD YOU!”

“Who said that?”

Silence.

“Right...”

“Wow, this is hard to follow.” I finally realized.

“Ya think?”

“No, that‘s my problem.”

“YOU! NOW! DANGER ROOM!”

“DAMN IT! WE GET IT!”

~To Be Continued~

(That was odd)

(Tee hee, karots)

(I’ll take suggestions for the next fic or two)

(Read and review, s‘il vous plait)

(PS: RIGHTS FOR SCOTT!)