Just Listen
I'm so irritated right now...

Tayla's going crazy because of me she can't handle me anymore I'm pushing her father and father away and I don't know how to stop it. For once I can't put any blame on her I know things are my fault and I wish there was some way I could controll my self but when I'm in that mood I just can't. I know you don't understand that, I know you never will and I thank god for that cause the only way you could would be to live in my head for a night... I want you to know that right now is hard I know... But I stuck by you through the good and bad I stuck bye you when you yelled at me when you and your dad fought I was there when you were depressed and suicidal also when you needed someone to talk to... now the tables have turned... and my question is are you going to be there for me? I know a few thing I did were a little rediculious this weekend but you must understand I'm going through alot more than you know. On top of all that my bipolar is getting worse I'm blacking out things. Please understand I'm sorry for everything I've done and I'm sorry if I happends again but weather you like it or not weather you notice it or not I'm trying to make my self better and if you don't believe me try asking Kurtis he understand more than anyone what I"m going through and he can tell you that I'm trying to work things out. Its just going to take time... anywaz I'm gonna go I'll talk to you all later

Love you, Tasha

Finally a good Day
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: MxPx- Punk Rawk Show
Topic: Me in a good mood Strange
We ant dot no place to go so lets go to a punk rawk show lol havn't listened to this song in a long time but I'm in a hella good mood right now lol. I finally told diana how I feel about her and she likes me too lol!!! man she kissed me and shit she can do what tayla can do which is make me horny just from a kiss no one else besides her and tayla are able to do that lol its crazy lol. I'm in programing a little dissapointed but so fucking happy it don't really matter. I mean ok so we were supose to hang out today but its gonna happen tomorrow instead but I can wait lol that way I'll be off my period I think?? YAY haha I just feel like yelling and skipping lol shit have to go ttyl

Love Tash

Freakin out
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: People talking in my 4th period class
Topic: Depressed/Panic Attacks
I'm panicing right now... I just wrote amanda a note telling her how stupid and sorry I am... I don't know the worst thing that can happen is she keeps not talking to me but I really hope some how she'll talk to me even if its yelling at me lol. I havn't scene danny in 6 days Its driving me crazy I really miss him!! I'm excited cause we might be going to a movie on wednesday haha the third time it will have been recheduled. haha whats up with my dates always being changed?? ahhh I'm gonna die during 5th period cause I know she'll be reading my note................................. ok I don't know what else to say so I think I'm gonna go crochet lol so ya ttyl

Love Tasha

ThreeSome haha oh ya baby!!!
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Dance Dance- Fall out boy
Topic: Me in a good mood Strange
Ok so I know its been a long time I've written I'm sorry lol... not really but whatever lol. lets see since I've last written tayla and I have gotten back go geather!! YAY!! lol!! and I had like the best weekend ever!! Ok so tayla jessica and i went to vegie fest which was amazing, there was so much good food, it was great. Then I had a threesome haha I can totally die happy now lol. Oh and I got high and annoyed the crap out of tayla lol ya I'm thinkin I shouldn't really get high cause like I think I can't move lol. anywaz thats all for now I'm gonna go work on my website and maybe see if I can figure out this whole chochet thingie lol. ttyl

Love Tasha

Single
Mood:  flirty
Now Playing: Blood Brothers
Topic: Me in a good mood Strange
ahhh I'm single... I'm kinda scared but it feels kinda good ya know? ok I'm good now I had kinda a huge panic attack and now I"m calmer now haha ok.... so there's this chick I really like and I'm 85% sure she allready knows I like her but I have no clue if she likes me back and I'm nervious I hope I'm feeling ok tomorrow cause I want to go to school but if I feel anything like I did today its not gonna happen *tear*. ok I have nothing else to say really I'm kinda hyper now lol. I think I'll go smole my nasty cigaretts. I say nasty because jeremy bought lights and they tast funky lol. anywaz ttyl

Love Tasha

Sick
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: The sounds of the rain... haha sounds like the sound of music lol
Topic: Sick as is not feel well
I'm so fucking tired and I really don't want to go to school today cause I really don't feel good and I've been up half the night couphing/ throwing up... hopefully I can get my mom to take me to the doctor and get something for it. fuck you tayla for giving me this shit haha jk I love you. we have these nasty couph drops and like 5 diffrent kinds of them I hate them I want the one kind that I forget what its call I know I know I'm not much help... *insert couphing fit* *ow* lol it hurts. I wish I had a car right now I'd drive to taylas and go get in her bed and go to sleep lol. I think my mom gave me viknin *can't spell lol* cause I feel tired and it looked like it and I'm starting to feel a little better lol but not much its slowly working. the bad thing is I have a huge craving for a cigarette lol but I'll have to wait a long while for that last time I had one it made it worse lol, ya I know I"m smart. ok I'm gonna go try and sleep or just lay there and day dream either on works lol

ttyl

Love Tasha

Ps: Nice pic eh?

fine it work work so I'll just say its batman and robin makeing out lol see batman's like a dark evil good superhero who's gay how can you beat that??? and come one we all know two gay guys making out is totally hot!!! haha anywazzzzzzzzzzz

2 blogs
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: Blood Brothers -- Love Rymes With Hideous Car Wreck
Topic: Sleepy
Date:2/7/06
Time:9:50

Title: long walk
Mood: Sleepy
Listening to: Blood Brothers -- Love Rymes With Hideous Car Wreck


I'm so fricken tired lol I just got back like awhile ago from a two hour walk with jeremy and robin lol, it was so much fun lol. at the moment I'm debaiting weather I should stay up untill tayla calls me back or just go to sleep lol I'm so fucking tired + I took my pills like a hour ago lol so I should go to bed lol. I got more cigs from jeremy and there light they tast kinda nast lol, but there cigs so its all good haha. I'm like obsessed with the song that it says I'm listening to but I'm not really sure why I like it it's kind of a annyoing/ odd song lol. ok I'm falling asleep as I'm typing so I'm gonna go to bed ttyl

Love Tasha





Title: New Blog
Mood: tired
Listening to: Blood Brothers -- Love Rymes With Hideous Car Wreck

Today was interesting NOT!! I saw amanda once again but finally its starting to bother me less I didnt' feel like I was about to cry... I mean this isn't something I nessisrly want to get over but I guess if she won't talk to me I don't have a choice ya know? anywaz enouph about stupid drama lol. I finally just decided to make my own blog than rely on other programs they just don't seem to fit my requirments for god sacks I'm not sure I could make one that fits my requirments actually I could it would just take way to much time lol, I'm to lazy lol. but what I'm doing is close enouph lol. Right now I"m waiting for jeremy to call me so I can hand out with robin and him YAY!! lol I love you guys!! ok so I think I'm gonna go get ready to go / do some homework before I go lol. ttyl

Love Tasha

mmm... beet
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: nothing
Topic: Me in a good mood Strange
Yo what up?

So I had a good day lol saw my tayla and jeremy and I hung out. Man jeremy has the fricken cooles lighter ever haha that lighter fluid like that whole can you have would be gone in five minutes if I had that shit lol. ya I'm a total piro there's a burn mark on my bed to prove it haha. anywaz I'm a little freaked out cause I stole a beer from my parents but I highly dought they will figure it out and if they do I'll just get another warning haha my parents are so dumb sometimes lol. So fucking tired I think I shall go no I know that was short but I'll write more tomorrow well latter today lol.

ttyl
Love Tasha

Depressed to happy lol
Mood:  happy
Now Playing: Nothing
Topic: Me in a good mood Strange
I feel so mcuh better now everything from this week has seemed to drain away in the last two hours. I was hanging out with jeremy and his friend i can't remember her name... but anywaz it was fun she was being hit on by drunk guys lol. It sucks this weekend is tayla and I's 5th anniversary weekend and her aunts won't let us see eachother. I'm sorry but I really do hate them I mean all the shit they have pulled and her aunts so call joke has just pushed me over the fucking edge... but anywaz I"m in a good mood lets talk about happy things lol. I got smokes hahaha theres a happy things lol. except now I owe tayla a pack oops... tomorrow I'll go get money out of the bank and get her a pack or I'll get money from my mom witch ever comes first lol. ok well I"m gonna go work on the art section of my website you know poetry photography all the stupid drawings i do when I'm bored lol. I'll have to figure out how to use the scanner again lol. ok anywazzzzzzzzzzzzzz ttyl