lost and confused
other than the problems in the entry below, there is always the other thing that has been bothering me.....loving someone that you will never have. Im going to call my boyfriend and break up with him because I have feelings for someone else, and even though this other person will never love me...or at least the way that I love him.I'll always love him and even my boyfriend cant get this boy off my mind. Im lost and I have no idea what to do....can somebody help me?

the worst pain yet
Today was horrible. I am finally learning how to keep everything inside. Its bad for me (thats an understatement). But its good for everyone else and thats all that matters. I don't think that I've ever actually tuned out the whole world before....especially my best friend ever. I think Im getting worse because I didnt want ANYTHING to do with ANYONE today. I sat there, blasting my rock music, scribbling the words from my mind to a piece of paper, and wanting to just drop dead right at that spot at that moment. After a little while, the only thing going through my head was "They beat me, I've lost".....