G'day.
Haven't blogged in a while. Figure I might as well.
Lisa's in Australia. I miss her so. :( Brad's at college. I miss him so. :( Gifted hates me. I miss her so. :( Man, I win! All the people I care about end up leaving! YEAH! :D
So I was at this chick's site, plastik;;emo;;trash, and I was looking through her icons (which are very good, tbh). I came across her pictures. How cool it must be to be so incredibly good at something and be revered for it. I'm jealous as anything right now. For once I just want to have the best site or make the best graphics or something. Just be the best. My glory days of feds are over, as Mystika is a washed up old hag in 3WL, heh.
But I often feel that way. I read Erin's sister's LJ or Brad tells me he's RPing (RhyDin, woooo!), and I get this sense of how incredibly cool they are. Classic example: Martine at Erstwhile. She OWNS. She's so, so cool. Just regular people..but extraordinary in my eyes. That's how I wanna be. A regular chick, but extraordinary to others.
Yeah, you might argue that I am extraordinary to a few. My friends, heh. Brad tells me I already am extraordinary. But am I really? Do people IM me and go "God damn, are you great."? No. Not really. I'm just humble little me. A lost little girl looking for fame.
Which brings me to another point. I'm so focused on getting famous. I was talking to Nick on the phone some night last week and we both agreed (as we tend to do) that we'd rather be hatefully remembered than lovingly forgotten. Another classic example: Hitler. Everyone will remember him. Everyone. I don't agree with what he did. I think he was a bastard and deserved to die alone and miserable, knowing he failed and killed millions of people, both those he hated and those he loved. But everyone's gonna remember him. We learned about it, our children will, their children will, and theirs, and theirs, and so on until the end of time. It's wild to think about it, but. And I want to be known. I want to prove my worth to these assholes. I want to show that I am better than the jerks in school who tell me I'm worthless and think I won't amount to anything. So to all the Seth Perkins and the Alyson Larkins, to all the cheerleaders and football players, to all the preps and the stoners...Fuck you.
"Rock is the answer; violence solves nothing."~Daniel Johns
I'm gone.