Redux II: The Missing Scene

By: Shipper Numero Uno

INT. THE HOSPITAL HALLWAY - DAY

CLOSE ON MULDER. Scully's visitors come out of her room. As Scully's brother passes:

Bill: (coughs) Loser. (coughs)

Mulder: (coughs) Asshole. (coughs)

Bill continues down the hall. Mulder gives him the finger with both hands.

INT. SCULLY'S HOSPITAL ROOM

Mulder: Your brother has some serious issues.

Scully: I think it's widely held that he could use an ass-whoopin'. So anyway, that cancer thing...whew! That sucked.

Mulder: I know. But it did provide some interesting drama. Like the time you told me to lay the murder of Scott Ostelhoff on you. You were sick, but let me tell you, you were a total stud, plus the DAL was THICK.

Scully: DAL rocks.

Mulder: Oh, and P.S., I don't know what the Emmy people were thinking, but you were robbed. Fabulous acting aside, do good looks count for nothing? Look at us! We're damn sexy!

Scully: Thank you. Christine Lahti. Please.

Mulder: Check this out. I just told Skinner that your cancer going into remission is the best news I could have gotten. That Samantha thing was getting old anyway. Plus, she had really bad hair.

Scully: So she was abducted by aliens. That's no excuse for a lapse in style.

Mulder: Really. Take a look at you, for example. Abducted in season two, stopped wearing beige season three, haircut to be copied season four, tiny t-shirts season five, and even though this is only the second episode in season five, I'll take a guess and say black pants season six, TANK TOPS SEASON SEVEN! I enjoy the tank tops, Scully. Next time wear one when we're in the same country. And I'm not drooling.

Scully: You're not drooling?

Mulder: Well, not psychiatric ward kind of drooling, anyway.

Scully (intrigued): Hmm....

THE END.

Millennium * Amor Fati * Squeeze * Ice * One Son