I'm so sad today... It cost too much to love... I love memories. I live on them. But I feel like it can't last forever like this. I'm so terrified of future... And soooo hopeless..

FUCK FOOD, FUCK FOOD, FUCK FOOD!!! I want to die of hunger!!!!!!! I just deserve it... Not good enough for HIM...

I haven't updated quite long time,but I had a birthday:-) and I was thinking about a million diferent things! I'm 18. I should be an adult, but don't feel so...
Btw, 4 people told me I lost weight:-)))))

I've eaten so much today!!! My weight is now 66,8 again! I think won't weight myself for 2 or 3 days and diet, so I will be pleased with my weight then. But I don't know... I'm used to weighting myself for few times a day...

I baked an almond cake with my friend today. Pure temptation, so I srew it all up today. There's always a brand new day - I'm going to visit my friend tomorrow, so my mother won't control what I eat...

My mother will be at home for 4 days, she won't go to work. I'm afraid she'll force me to eat. I told her I'd have 2 fruit days, but then, I don't know... Any idea? Help me!

Have you seen Gwen Stefani's video "Cool"? She's gorgeous there. I want a body like hers. It's very thinspiring to watch MTV...

My mother made me eat "normal dinner"!!! Why?? I did quite well and she spoiled it all. I feel so full and fat.. Hate it. Tomorrow will be better.

I decided to try to become a model after losing some weight. It's a good motivation. I spend a lot of time on the pro-ana sites, it really helps. And I'm going to write a food diary...

I feel really good these days. I no longer care for my ex... But my goal stayes the same...

I met one friend from Saudi Arabia, whom I haven't seen for 2 years and he told me I had changed a lot and I had put on much weight. Well... he shouldn't be that honest... But it's motivating...