Let's just cut right to the chase, and join everyone's favourite commentary twosome, Davros and Burnt!
Burnt - Welcome, one and all, to the final of the August 2003 Bar Room Brawl! This has been one of the most hotly-contested events of recent history, but now it's down to the final two!
Davros - That's right, Burnt, and we're here LIVE from the Yokohama Arena in beautiful Yokohama, Japan, to witness the final stages of the BRB. Prototype, representing UCE, is taking on Matt Piperooy from the CWA.
Burnt - This should be a barnstormer, with both competitors scoring victories over some impressive names in the previous two rounds!
Davros - And Proto beat Hatrix.
Burnt - Don't be mean, now. Roll VT!
As 'I Stand Alone' by Godsmack plays, a video reel plays of the first two rounds. Prototype's hitting Hatrix and his old time adversary, Chevalier, with the Breath Taker … Matt Piperooy putting away both Cassie and the DRW's Avril Lavigne with the Amsterslam.
More footage rolls, of Prototype standing high above the ring, celebrating his victory over Chevalier whilst junk rains down on him from the fans, and of Matt Piperooy staggering away, supported by Junichi.
We finally cut to a head to head, as a voice over plays.
Voice - Two men. One dream. The Bar Room Brawl Final. Prototype. Matt Piperooy. Are you really ready?
The video reel ends, and the fans clap in appreciation.
Burnt - Our backroom staff are on top form. Good work, guys.
Davros - It seems to me, Burnt, as though this is a very interesting match up. One on side, you have Prototype. The guy's a veteran of this kind of match, and has been extremely successful, with only one career blemish, to Holy Evil, no less.
Burnt - That was a fluke, or so Proto has always claimed.
Davros - I don't know about that. But Proto has been there, done that, and got more than a few T-shirts. The Most Evil Man in Wrassle [dot] Net is one of the cagiest and nastiest wrasslers around. And now the leader of Cabal is taking on a guy we know a whole lot less about.
Burnt - Exactly right, Davros. Matt Piperooy burst on to the CWA scene less than two months ago, from .. well, no one knows where. This kid was a virtual unknown before the BRB, despite joining Fed Killers International, but now his name is everyone's lips. Everyone is wondering … just who is Matt Piperooy?
Davros - Piperooy beat guys such as Camus and Switch Back just to gain entry to this competition, and has improved by leaps and bounds. Avril Lavigne had a lot of expert help in preparing for this tourney, yet Matt just brushed past her. Three weeks ago, just about everyone had assumed Prototype would be winning the BRB - yet now, a lot of experts are calling it just too close to call.
Burnt - It's really a battle of the old and the new. Prototype is a member of the old guard, with a long and storied career. Matt, a complete rookie, who has somehow found himself in the final against the Bane of the Game.
Davros - No matter what happens, Burnt, I'm sure it'll be a night no one will ever forget!
Burnt - You know, Davros, it's often been said elephants never forget. We don't have an elephant, but we do have the closest human equivalent. Philly Fats is backstage with Matt Piperooy. Philly?
As we fade away, we hear Davros and Burnt bickering.
Davros - That was the most tenuous link ever. You suck, Burnt.
Burnt - Well it was funnier than 'hell toupee'
Davros - No, seriously, it wasn't.
Burnt - Quiet, Rusty.
Davros - Screw you, you dirty hockey-playing munchkin! EXTERMINATE!
Burnt - Fats! Cut to Fats!
