they used to say i'm dense. but now i know i'm just slightly autistic. howd it happen? i don't even want to think. recapturing all the possibilities would be traumatizing. they say i'm stuck up. i would gladly give a smile. talk to me, i wouldn't mind. i may seem to ignore you. but i actually hear every word. thats how i know more than i should. i hear things. and thats not what i look like. the face i wear is just a mask thats been planted there. i try to rub it off. so call me fake. because i am. they say i'm sad. maybe i just zone out once in awhile. i can't help it. it just happens. call me again. i'll come back. if u see a an extra glitter in my eyes. ignore the frown. because its not there. they say i'm sarcastic. i just don't know my reply. they assume me as being uninterested. or impatient. but u know what they say about assumption. the average human brain can concentrate for 12 and a half minutes. thats a reassuring fact. if theres anything to blame, its on me. because i stutter. sentences clutter in my head. to most, thats called guilt. to me, thats called uncertainty. or anxiety. some see depression. some see a rebel. i just see me waiting for life to roll. waiting to stop sitting and start moving. i won't change. ive accepted. so accept. because thats the only help there is. or friggin leave me alone.
