 |
The Nonsense Board Adventure Part 3: The Omochao Fortress
  Disclaimer: Anything which is not owned by us, is owned by it's respective owner. For example, Sturm and the Black Hole Army (who feature in this part of the story) are owned by Nintendo, and not us. So please don't sue!
YAY!! I formatted this thing!
Rob: First thing you've done right for a long time.
Just becuase you're stupid enough to be kidnapped by Omochao. And now we have to rescue you!
Darkwolf: It was YOUR idea, idiot!
*thinks* Oh yeah. WAIT, YOU INSULTED ME! FEAR MY AUTHOR POWERS! STORY CONTROL!!!
Rob: Shouldn't that be Author Control? You keep changin-
*Rob and Darkwolf are struck by lightning.*
R&D: ;_; Ow.
Now let's get on with the damn story!
------------------------------ (See? Formatting!)
The Nonsense Board Adventure Part 3: The Omochao Fortress
Written by Shadow of the Stow Zone
------------------------------
When we last left our gallant heroes, Rob had been kidnapped by the Omochao Army and taken to their 'secret' base (surrounded by bells, whistles and searchlights). Shadow and Darkwolf had set out to rescue him. Now, with the help of Shadow's Story Control, they had made past the invulnerable Bill Gates of the fortress and have stealthily crept inside-
*KA-BLAMMM!!!!*
Oh well.
*Shadow and Darkwolf are shooting up the base, and any Omochao that get in their way*
Shadow: Any guesses where they're holding Rob?
Darkwolf: In a cell?
Shadow: *Hits Darkwolf with his MiB style gun*
Darkwolf: *stares at gun* Where's the Noisy Cricket?
Shadow: *Blank look* What's a Noisy Cricket?
-----Scene Switch-----
A Scout Omochao looks at the Noisy Cricket, and picks it up.
-----Scene Switch-----
*BOOM!!!!*
*Scout Omochao, now rather frazzled, flies past Shadow and Darkwolf at 500MPH*
Darkwolf: I think we've found out where it got to...
Shadow: *Still has a blank look* Where'd what go to?
Darkwolf: *Sighs* Nevermind.
And so they proceed, firing enough rounds to destroy a city block. Due to the stupid nature of the Omochao and their Fortress, however, all they do is leave holes in the walls. Meanwhile...
-----Scene Switch-----
A small, dark figure stands in front of a MASSIVE viewscreen watching Shadow and Darkwolf's every move. Even though there is enough light coming out of the screen to blind a cave bat with cataracts, the small figure manages to remain in darkness. (Aren't I getting descriptive?)
???: Don't they realise that I'm holding back my forces? They're so busy smashing everything apart, they haven't bothered to find my very secret super-duper-mega-triple-titanium-alloy-reinforced deep underground bunker! So what if they take Rob, it just means they'll be more vulnerable with an extra person who has no weapon! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
An even smaller, nervous Omochao scampers up to the figure, who turns to look at him.
Nervous Omochao: Sir, sir, they are nearing the prisoner's cell! What should we do?
???: Let them rescue him. When they leave to Fortress, throw our entire army at them!!!!
Nervous Omochao: Sir, yes, sir! *Runs away*
???: *Resumes manic laughter*
-----Scene Switch-----
Shadow: Did you hear that?
Darkwolf: Hear what?
Shadow: That manic laughter?
Darkwolf: You ARE the Author, remember. You make this story, so you know what's happening everywhere! In this story, you are basically a god!
Shadow: You know, that never occured to me.
No, didn't occur to me in any way.
Darkwolf: *Confused* How did you do that?
Shadow: The narrator voice? One of my special Author powers.
A cool one too, of course, seeing as I'm using it.
Darkwolf: Stop trying to impress our female readers.
Shadow: Just becasue I'm a god and you're not.
Darkwolf: *Changes subject* Hey, isn't that Rob?
Shadow: Why, that is. Oh well, let's go.
Darkwolf: HEY!
Shadow: Is eaten by horses.
Yes, I know it was my idea to rescue Rob. But I had no other good ideas!
Rob: I hate narrating voices. Now GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!
Shadow: Fine. Story Control!
Just like that, the bars of Rob's cell disappear in pink smoke.
Darkwolf: Pink? ^_^ Shadow likes pink! Shadow likes pink! Shadow likes-
Shadow: Story Control!
Darkwolf spontaneously disappears, and reappears with his head stuck in the bars of another nearby cell.
Darkwolf: -pink? HEY!
Rob&Shadow: Is eaten by horses.
Rob: *Tugs Darkwolf's head out of the bars* C'mon. Let's get moving.
The three run as fast a they can out of the Fortress, not noticing the lack of Omochao until they get to the Bill Gates of the Fortress, and find an Omochao waiting for them. Not any Omochao, mind. The BIG BOSS OMOCHAO!!
Darkwolf: Oh, really scary.
BB Omochao: *Fires lasers from his eyes that burn neat lines in Darkwolf's hair.
Darkwolf: 0_0 Eep.
BB Omochao: HAHAHAHA!! You are caught in a colossal trap! On my, The Big Boss Omochao's word, the entire Omochao Army will surround you!
Shadow: *Yawn* Don't give up your day job.
BB Omochao: The Omochao Army consists of 1 Billion Omochao.
R&S&D: 0_0 *Start shaking uncontrollably*
BB Omochao: Attack, my minions!!!
Instantly, a billion Omochao march through the Bill Gates (which open for them), jump off the roofs of the Fortress, and march out of nowhere. However, the Big Boss Omochao must have a screw loose, as 1 Billion Omochao can't fit into an area only 100m square. Extra Omochao trample the others to get into postion, and soon they get into a large riot.
Shadow: While they're distracted! GO!!!
Unfortunately, Shadow thinks the Bill Gates will open up for him. Wrong!
Rob&Shadow&Darkwolf: *Slam headfirst into Gates* OWWW!!
Shadow: *Thinks* Waitaminnit...how did we get in here if the Gates didn't open for us?
Darkwolf: *Hits Shadow* You used Story Control, remember?
Rob: Why do we have to be led by such an idiot?
Rob: *Struck by lightning*
Shadow: Becasue I'm the Author, dammit! Story Control!
Despite every claim from around the world that the Bill Gates are completely foolproof, Microsoft never met a fool as stupid as Shadow. So, the Gates are blasted clean off their hinges.
Shadow: Never underestimate a fool. Wait, did I just insult myself?
Darkwolf: Well, you ARE the narrator and a character in this story, so theoretically, yes.
Shadow: You insulted me! Take this! *Hits himself on the head* Ow!
Rob: I say it again, WHY do we have to be led by such an idiot?
Darkwolf: Who cares? Let's go, and we can ditch him later!
Rob&Shadow&Darkwolf: *Run as if the whips of Hell are behind them*
-----Scene Change-----
Big Boss Omochao shakes a fist at the retreating backs of Rob, Shadow and Darkwolf.
BB Omochao: This isn't over! You will pay you little worms!
Sturm: HEY! That's my line!
BB Omochao: Aw, shaddup and go back to Advance Wars, Strum.
Sturm: DO NOT CALL ME STRUM! *Summons Black Hole Army*
BB Omochao: 0_0 Err, can we make a deal?
Sturm: NO!! DISTANCE UNITS!! FIRE!!!
All of the distance units (Rockets, Artillery, Missiles, and Battleships, which are slowly starting to sink into the desert because of their weight) fire. The Omochao Army is completely obliterated, except for the Big Boss Omochao, who manages to fly away. Sturm then leads his forces into the Fortress.
Sturm: Now that the Omochao are out of the picture, time to use this as my base of operations! Infantry and Mech Infantry! Secure the area! HAHAHAHAHA!
The managers have escaped the Omochao, but now have Advance Wars' Sturm to deal with! Will they manage to get to the Christening Shrine of Christening-ness? We'll just have to find out!
Thanks for reading! Now, go and review! (If this is in the Stow Zone, reply to the message, if not, email me at raymattuk@icqmail.com. No flames, though)
|
|
