USING THE JOKE PAGE:  If the joke has a punch line or the riddle has an answer, there will be a graphic at the end of the joke or riddle.  Simply rest your cursor on top of the graphic for a few seconds, and the answer should appear!  (Clicking the mouse button is not necessary.)

Submit your kids favorite jokes for posting here.  The most recent entries appear at the top of the listing.

On her 25th Wedding Anniversary, a woman is asked by her best friend "What is your husband giving you for your anniversary?"
The woman replied "I don't think he'll be giving me anything - he's mad because I never used the gift he gave me last year."
The friend then asked "What did he give you last year?"
The woman replied "A cemetery plot!"
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 9, by Uncle Bob, April 1991)

A heavyset senior citizen was explaining his tennis game to a friend.  "My brain sends out an order to my body: Start immediately.  Run forward swiftly.  Hit the ball gracefully over the net."
"And then what happens?" asked the friend.
"And then," the stout fellow replied, "my body says 'Who, me?'"
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 9, by Uncle Bob, April 1991)

Question: What does a ghost put on when he goes to the beach?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 8, by Donald Petersen, January 1991)

Question: How many pickles did Peter Piper Petersen pick?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 8, by Donald Petersen, January 1991)

Question: Who was the most unhappy at the return of the prodigal son?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 8, by Brent Petersen, January 1991)

Question: If a plane crashes on the border of Utah and Idaho, which state should the survivors be buried in?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 7, by Alexis Arismendez, September 1990)

Question: What's the best way to ride a pig?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 7, by Alexis Arismendez, September 1990)

Question: Is it legal in North for North Carolina for a man to marry his widow's sister?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 7, by Mandy Bernhardt, September 1990)

Question: Two men play checkers.  They play 5 games and each man wins the same number of games.  How do you figure that out?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 7, by Mandy Bernhardt, September 1990)

Question: I have in my hand two U.S. coins which equal 55 cents.  One is not a nickel.  What are the two coins?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 7, by Mandy Bernhardt, September 1990)

Question: If you had one match and entered a room where there was a lamp, an oil heater and some kindling wood, which would you light first?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 7, by Mandy Bernhardt, September 1990)

Question: Some months have thirty days, some have thirty one.  How many have twenty eight?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 7, by Mandy Bernhardt, September 1990)

Question: How many animals did Moses put in the ark?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 7, by Mandy Bernhardt, September 1990)

Question: Do they have a 4th of July in England?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 7, by Mandy Bernhardt, September 1990)

Question: Why can't a man living in Salem Oregon be buried west of the Mississippi River?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 7, by Mandy Bernhardt, September 1990)

Question: How many birthdays does an average man have?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 7, by Mandy Bernhardt, September 1990)

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Luke.
Luke who?

(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 7, by Niki Westenskow, September 1990)

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Rhoda.
Rhoda who?

(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 7, by Niki Westenskow, September 1990)

Question: What do you feed tomatoes when they grow?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 5, by Joseph Petersen, March 1990)

Will you remember me in a week?
Yes.
Will you remember me in a year?
Yes.
Will you remember me in two years
Yes.
Knock Knock.
Who's There?

(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 5, by Donny Petersen, March 1990)

Question: What did the big frying pan say to the little frying pan?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 4, by Mandy Bernhardt, January 1990)

Question: What did the adding machine say to the clerk?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 4, by Mandy Bernhardt, January 1990)

Question: Why are flowers lazy?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 4, by Mandy Bernhardt, January 1990)

Question: Where did the cow go?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 4, by Billy Taylor, January 1990)

Question: Why did Loppy the Rabbit cross the road?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 4, by Billy Taylor, January 1990)

Question: What does the pink Panther say when he sits on a dead ant?    
(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 1, by Mandy Bernhardt, March 1989)

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Dwane.
Dwane who?

(Submitted to Family Ties Issue 1, by Mandy Bernhardt, March 1989)