Title: Maybe.. Just Once
Pairing: Kev/Nicky, AJ/Brian
Author: Jules
Feedback: Send Here
Rating: Im'a say R... don't understand that NC-17 stuff
Disclaimer: If the first part never happened... then this part sure as hell never happened... Just something I came up with while in an elevator and ran with it...
Chapter 10~Kevin~
I wonder if Brian knows that AJ's in love with him. I mean, I have been watching the two of them lately and have seen that they are getting closer. AJ's stopped hanging out with Nick and I exclusively. I don't mind, but I just wonder if he knows what he's getting himself into. But then I see the lingering glances Brian's been giving AJ and I'm confused even more. Brian's in love with Leigh. Like REALLY in love with her. Marriage...2.5 kids..white picket fences in love with her. I honestly don't know what to think. Maybe I should talk to Nick about it.
Speaking of Nick, here he is. He's just walked into the room and damn. He's wearing a pair of khaki pants and a wife beater. And those glasses. Damn him. He knows what those glasses do to me, especially with a wife beater showing off the tattoos. Suddenly, all thoughts of AJ and Brian have vanished from my brain and all I can think of is getting Nick back to our room and ripping those clothes off him before I throw him on the bed and fuck him senseless.
~Brian~
I wonder if anyone can tell I'm different. I mean, I've kissed a man now. Twice. I don't feel different but people might be able to tell. Kevin's been watching me closely for a while now. Shit. He probably knows. I feel so guilty. I shouldn't have kissed him that second time. Hell, I shouldn't have let him kiss me the first time. It was just so wrong. It felt amazing...wonderful.. Beautiful... But wrong. AJ's lips felt so good on mine. Tasted so good. His tongue was so sexy, dancing with my own, exploring so eagerly. But in a wrong sort of way.
I can't believe I cheated on Leigh. I'm so awful. I don't know what I should do. Maybe I should talk to Kevin. Looking over I see the look he's giving Nick and I stop. Maybe this isn't a good idea. But then I look over at AJ and that feeling overwhelms me again. FUCK. I need to talk to Kevin. As long as I can get the picture of him sucking Nick off out of my head I'll be fine.
~Howie~
I wonder if they all know how amusing they are. I mean who needs soap operas when you're living in the middle of one. Brian's looking rather guilty about something so I'm thinking something happened there. AJ's looking like he's walking on air so whatever Brian's feeling guilty about must have to do with him. I'm impressed... Church Boy finally got some balls and decided to do something about his feelings. Now he'll probably pack them back up and send them to their rightful owner.. Leigh. But it was probably fun while it lasted. Laughing to myself I sit back and wait. There's gonna be more. There always is.
~AJ~
I wonder if everyone knows I'm in love with Brian. I mean they have to be able to tell. It's written all over my face. I was fine until he let me kiss him. And then when he kissed me I thought I was going to explode. Like literally explode. Like dancing with Nick and Kevin while they make out and explode all over my pants kind of explode. FUCK! I can't believe I cheated with him on Leighanne. The last thing I want to do is come between them. Do something to fuck that up. I know how he feels about her, and I've just completely barged in and started messing with that. I need to talk to someone about this. I can't talk to Kevin because Brian just got up and started walking over there. Nick just walked in, I guess I'll talk to him about it.
~Nick~
I wonder how I can sneak Kevin out of here and lure him up to our hotel room. I even wore the glasses and wife beater to turn him on even more. I know how much he loves the glasses...and the tattoos. Damn. All I want is for him to throw me on the bed and rip my clothes off. And then fuck me senseless. It's been a while. Almost 12 hours I think. Fuck. Here comes AJ. I guess I'll have to hold that plan for a little while. I shift so that he can't see the massive wood I'm sportin. Something I'll have to deal with later.
He looks nervous. Shy. Something's up. "Hey J. What' happening?" I laugh as he stutters for a few minutes. He has something to say and doesn't know how to say it. I figure maybe I should help him out.
"How did he take it?"
He looks at me. Obviously shocked. "Excuse me?"
I laugh again. "I said. How did he take it? The gay bar I mean."
"You knew?"
I shrugged. I knew more than people gave me credit for. Perks of being the 'dumb blonde'. No one expects you to know anything, so they don't get suspicious when you ask questions. I know he wants to talk about it but doesn't know how to start it. I can't do it for him so I have to wait.
"It was amazing." He has this far off look on his face, like he's there in the moment again and replaying it over and over. Makes me wonder what really happened there. So again, I wait.
"We danced, we talked... It was great." He realizes he's drifting and snaps back into the now. It's right then I realize he's in love with Brian. AJ's still rambling, avoiding everything that I know he wants to really talk about. Sighing I decide to intervene.
"Does he know?"
Holy shit. That did it. He begins to fidget and gets more nervous than he already was. "About?"
"Oh.. I don't know. Maybe the fact that you're in love with him."
AJ looks around to see if anyone heard me, can hear him. No one's even paying attention. He's trying to play it cool, I have to give him props, he's pretty smooth. "What are you talking about? We just went to the bar to hang out. Chill. See what it's like."
I knew I had to approach this with the utmost care and tact. Shit. I was so NOT the king of tact. I am so not good with this sort of thing. This is Kevin's area. I always say the wrong thing at the wrong time. So I just stay quiet. I'm good at that. Sorta.
"I'm serious man. It's Brian. Fucking Brian. I'm not in love with him. I'm SO not in love with him. He's got Leigh." AJ kept talking, as if he was trying to convince himself along with me. But we both knew that he was lying.
"Does he know" I asked again, softly this time.
"I'm serious Nick. I'm not in fucking love with fucking Brian." He was at the end of his rope now. It wouldn't be long.
"It's okay man. Just chill, everything's okay." I leaned over to touch his arm and felt him shiver. Gently I asked one last time. "Does he know Alex." Then the tears started. He broke down completely and I almost felt bad. Almost. I knew that he needed to get this out. It's not healthy. "No, he doesn't." He looked up and I then realized the inner turmoil he was facing. It seemed to be as much of a shock to him as it did to me.
~AJ~
So here I am. Bawling to Nick. How much of a loser do I feel like right now. So someone knows how I feel about Brian. It's a relief actually. As much of a burden as it is, it's a relief. I'm not alone with the knowledge and now I have someone to talk to about it. Before I can stop myself I begin to tell him everything in my head. I have to get it out.
"I don't know how it happened Nick. One minute he was just Brian, and the next I was having these intense feelings about him. We went to the bar and it was then I realized what the feelings were. We were there and we started dancing and everything felt so right. He fit so well in my arms and it felt so good. Him pressed against me, holding onto me like I was the only person in the world. Like I was loved. I don't know what to think. He's not gonna give up Leigh. They're Ken and fucking Barbie for Christ's sake." I paused to blow my nose. Nick was just staring at me with sympathetic eyes. Now I know how he felt for all those years watching Kevin with Kristen. Wanting him so badly but knowing that he couldn't have him. That he was spoken for. It fucking sucks. I sighed looking over at Brian and Kevin. What am I going to do? Turning back to Nick I faked a weak smile and laid my hands in my arms. "I don't stand a chance." I could tell he wanted to say something but wasn't sure what. The silence was nice. His hand still on my arm, I knew he was there for me. That he understood. That I wasn't alone.