I awakened the next morning feeling more safe and secure than I had in a long time. My bed was warm, my fever seemed to be gone and the strong arms that held me gave me a sense of comfort I hadn't known in a very long time. I burrowed into their warmth and sighed before I realized what I was doing.

The warm breath against my neck made me shiver, and I heard a sleepy voice mumble my name. My name? What-? Nick?

"Nick!" With a mighty shove I became a force to be reckoned with. In one swift motion I forced myself from his arms, and pushed him so hard that he landed on the floor beside the bed.

"Oww! Shit!" he exclaimed, rising groggily to peer over the side of the bed. "What the fuck-?"

"Get out."

"Joanna-" He wiped his eyes sleepily as I pulled the blanket up under my chin, my breathing coming in shallow gasps.

"I mean it Nick, get out." I was trembling with anger, fear, and yes, maybe even a few of the old familiar feelings, which made me even more angry.

He leaned on the comforter and stared into my eyes. "You haven't changed a bit."

Out of ten year old reflex, I caught myself smoothing my hair self-consciously as his eyes slowly swept over my body. "Dammit Nick, just go," I whispered, and to my horror, my eyes filled again with the same hot tears that had flowed so freely the night before.

Nick watched me in silence, finally sighing and walking to the door. "I'll make some coffee and see what you have in the fridge. You need to eat something and then we need to talk."

A calm Nick was a Nick that worried me. I could handle his tirades, I could handle almost anything except a Nick that was in total control.

He closed the door softly and I tried my best to bury myself beneath the covers, but common sense got the better of me. I knew I had to face him and get it over with before I could move on with my life.

My life. I laughed at the irony. What else could go wrong? No, best not to even wonder. Out of habit I made the bed before stepping into the shower, and once dressed, made my way into the lion's den. I mean, the kitchen.

"There you are," he said with a smile. "I thought maybe you'd gone back to sleep."

"Not likely," I said with a frown. The table was set for two, scrambled eggs and toast on each plate and a cup of coffee for me, just the way I like it.

Nick smiled, knowing that I'd noticed. "Two sugars, heavy cream," he grinned. "I remembered."

"I take it black now," I said, just to be obstinate and felt somewhat validated when his smile turned to a disappointed frown. I'd drink it black and choke before I'd admit that I'd lied. It was worth it just to see him brought down a notch.

Breakfast was a silent affair, and I managed to thank him and sound sincere before the conversation turned to what was really on his mind.

"Tell me about Daniel."

I shrugged. "He's your son."

"So I gathered. Come on Jo, don't be this way."

I was stunned. "Don't be this way? You disappear for ten years and have the nerve to ask ME to not be this way?"

"But Jo-"

"I think it's my turn to ask a question now. Where the hell have you been?"

"Jo, this is my son we're talking about."

I jumped to my feet, turning over my chair. "Your son? Your son that I carried, all alone. Your son that I gave birth to, all ALONE. Your son that I walked the floors with night after night as he screamed with colic. Where WERE you Nick? Where were you when it was YOUR turn to rock him to sleep?"

"Joanna, it's hard to explain ..."

"I'm sure it is, and I'm sure you'd love to enlighten me, but I have a life to get back to. Don't bother with the dishes, Brianna can help me with them later."

"Can I see them?"

"No. They have no use for you, Nick. They don't even know you."

"But I'm-"

"Their father, yes, so you've said. But you're not, Nick, not really. A father would have been here for them for the past ten years. I've been both mother and father to my children, Nick. You gave up that right when you walked out the door."

"I can explain," he said weakly.

"I'm sure you can, but you know what Nick? I no longer want to hear it." And as I said it, I realized it was the truth. It was an epiphany moment for me, and God *did* have a good sense of timing. As I began to clear the breakfast dishes, Nick's cell phone rang.

He cursed beneath his breath as he answered.

"Yeah?" he barked.

I smiled to myself. Still charming as always, eh, Nick?

"No, I haven't. No, not yet. I haven't had the chance... I will, I promise. No, last night was not a good time to-"

I sighed. I just wanted him out of my house. I was quickly coming to the conclusion that I'd been pining for a memory for ten years, and that reality had no intention of living up to the dream. I listened to his side of the conversation as he became more and more frustrated with his invisible caller. I'm sure he had completely forgotten I was in the room.

No, I'll call you. I will, just as soon as I get back to the hotel." He paused to listen. "I will, Lynne, gimme till lunch time. Okay, yes, me too, bye." he severed the connection and jumped when I spoke.

"Who is Lynne?" I asked, and imagine my shock and surprise at his answer.

"My wife. Lynne is my wife."