You opened the door quietly and slipped inside the dark house. Dropping your coat on the chair by the door, you kicked your shoes off and stepped into the living room, making your way blindly toward the end table, reaching for the lamp.
“Leave it off.” The silky voice resonated throughout the quiet room, bouncing off the walls and filling your head. You jumped back sharply, your heart rate increasing drastically, a deep intake of breath the only sound you made. As your eyes began to adjust to the darkness, you could make out his form, sprawled out on the couch. He was lying on his back with his feet propped up on the armrest, an arm resting across his face, covering his eyes.
“Jesus! Don’t do that to me. I thought you were upstairs in bed. What are you still doing up, laying down here in the dark?” You asked as the pounding in your chest slowed down to a normal rate again. You got no response so you made your way over to him. “Jace?” Still nothing. Kneeling down by his head, you ran a hand lightly across his cheek, the smooth skin like silk beneath your fingertips. He shivered lightly at your touch and in the soft moonlight filtering in from the window you could see a smile graze his face. “Baby, what’s the matter?”
Maybe it was instinct. Maybe it was simply the fact that you’d been his friend for thirteen years, his best friend for eleven. Maybe it was because you had been his partner, his lover, the other half of his soul for five years. Whatever the reason, you could read him like a book. You knew him almost as well as you knew yourself. And in this very moment, you could tell something was definitely wrong.
Your heart ached. You wanted to be able to take whatever pain he had away from him. You wanted to bare the burden yourself. Unfortunately, all you could offer was your heart in love and support, an ear to listen, and arms to hold him.
Finally, he sighed and pulled his arm away from his face, brushing a hand lightly over your head before letting it fall to rest across his stomach. He looked up at you and in the soft moonlight, you could see his soulful eyes. The sparkle that normal grazed the amazing blue orbs was gone. Instead, sadness was captured there, just below the surface.
You held his gaze for a few moments, your eyes connected to his, as you searched for the cause of the sadness and pain. When you came up empty handed and he still hadn’t offered any explanation, you climbed onto the couch, wrapping your arms around him, holding him tightly. He let his head fall to your shoulder, burying his face in your neck. The soft breath that escaped his mouth brushed across your skin, warming and chilling you all at the same moment. Placing a soft kiss to the top of his chocolate curls, you asked him, once again, what was wrong.
“I’m scared, Justin.” A sigh escaped his lips as he trembled slightly in your embrace. You didn’t understand. What did he have to be afraid of? Life for the two of you was better than ever. You were the strongest in your relationship you had ever been. Everyday with him was the most wonderful day of your life. All your friends and family knew about the two of you, had for years, and were all supportive. You were still a successful solo artist, even though Nsync, as a group, had called it quits a few years back. Everyone had been ready to move on, go in different directions. But you were all still wonderful friends, just as close as you had been in the glory days. He was the most in-demand songwriter and producer in the business, working with the top names in the industry. Life was good. What was he scared of?
And so you asked him. He pulled away from you slightly, just enough so he could see your face, into your eyes.
“Two days, baby. Two days.” And suddenly, with those two words, you knew. You knew what he was scared of. And you understood. Pulling him close again, you kissed his cheek, his eye, the tip of his nose, and finally, his soft lips. It was gentle, reassuring, loving. He had nothing to be scared of. And you told him so.
“But what if I can’t do it? What if I’m not cut out for it? What if…” He couldn’t finish his sentence. You knew how many what ifs were running through his head. Probably the same amount that were running through yours. But you knew he could do it, you both could do it. You knew he was more than cut out for it. He was made for it. Sure, it was scary. But it was also exciting.
Your eyes caught his again, and with just a soft smile, you reassured him. He wasn’t alone. He wouldn’t be alone in any of this. You would be right there with him, by his side through it all. And you would both make it. You would both be wonderful at it. It wasn’t in either of you to fail, and this was something you would succeed with as well. You saw, right before you very eyes, the confidence grow in his own. It replaced the sadness, swallowed it up, until all that was left there was warmth and love and confidence. He could do it. You both could do it.
The fear was still there, slightly, but you knew that feeling as well. But without a word being said, you had assured him that everything would be ok. That this would all work out. Maybe it was because he knew you so well. Maybe it was because, for the past five years, he’d been the other part of your soul. Whatever it was, he got the message loud and clear with just a look.
Rolling gracefully off the couch, you landed on your feet. You reached down for his hand and pulled him up as well, wrapping your arms around his slim waist from behind as you made your way toward the stairs and your bedroom.
Climbing under the covers in just your boxers, you pulled him close to you, wrapping your arms around him. His back was pressed tightly against your chest, your arms wrapped around his waist and chest, your leg draped gracefully over his own. His hand ran the length of your arm until he reached your hand, intertwining your fingers together. You placed a soft kiss to his bare shoulder and whispered against his warm skin.
“Goodnight, my love.”
He was in dreamland in minutes, his mind now at ease, his heart happy, his soul content, a soft smile drawn across his face. You laid awake for some time, watching him sleep, listening to his gentle breathing, feeling his chest move up and down in a steady rhythm against your arms, breathing in the fresh, masculine scent that you’ve loved for years, placing soft kisses against his skin every now and then, tasting him.
He was the most exquisite man you had ever met and the sensory perception you felt in accordance to being near to him created the most wonderful feelings in the world to rise into your soul, setting into your heart. You loved this man with your entire being. He was your world and you couldn’t imagine life without him. He was your strength, your muse, your inspiration, your confidence, and your trust. He was your everything.
And he was all yours, just like you were all his. Your heart, your soul, your mind, and your body. Forever.
*****
You awoke the next morning to the most wonderful feeling in the world. Soft lips traveled slowly down your chest, kissing and nibbling on each and every area of skin. A smile reached your lips and you lifted your hand, letting your fingers sift through his silky hair. The movement stopped, his lips still pressed lovingly against your stomach, as his eyes traveled up to yours. The playful look in his eyes shinned into yours, causing your heart to jump, causing your blood to flow faster, causing the hardness between your legs to twitch slightly. He rested his chin on your stomach, his eyes still looking into yours, as his hands traveled up your side, over your shoulders, and back down your chest, past your stomach to the waistband of your boxers.
He teasingly slipped a finger just below the elastic, playing with the soft blond hair below your navel. A low moan escaped your throat before you could stop it, your eyes closing once again in anticipation of what was to come.
And then, in one swift, catlike move, he had your boxers off and thrown across the room and was kneeling between your thighs, grinning up at you with a mischievous smile. Had you blinked, you would have missed it all.
Slowly, he lowered his head and kissed your left thigh, letting his tongue run across the skin. He licked a trail up to your hip, sucking lightly. You moaned again and withered beneath him, fisting the bed sheets in your hands. Licking a trail across your lower abdomen, his lips attached to your other hip and sucked that one as well before trailing kisses down to your right thigh.
You were aching and it was all you could do not to thrust up against him. He was taking his time, giving you the ultimate pleasure, and it was just one of the many reasons you loved him. He knew what you liked and how you liked it and he was more than willing to give it to you.
With his lips still attached to your thigh, his hand moved up and gently grasped your balls, massaging them with the palm of his hand before moving up to grasp your hardened, leaking length at the base. Slowly, and with the greatest care, as though he was touching the greatest treasure in the world, he let his hand move up the length, his thumb brushing over the head, collecting the precum. With a mischievous grin, he removed his hand and brought the thumb to his mouth, sucking it in between his lips, giving himself a taste of your sweetness. You’re eyes closed of their own accord and a whimper escaped from between your lips.
You felt his breath on you, fanning across your cock and a sharp intake of breath was all that you were allowed before the leaking head slipped between his lips. His tongue played with the slit, and you thrust up gently, wanting more, needing to be deeper. He complied and loosened his hold, letting his lips and tongue slid down your length slowly, inch by hardened inch.
His hand splayed across your stomach, pushing slightly to still the tremors coursing through your muscular abs. His eyes stayed on your face, enjoying the pleasure he saw, the pleasure he was giving.
You felt yourself hit the back of his throat and he swallowed, sending shock waves through your body. He hummed lightly, sending the vibrations from his throat to your cock, causing your entire body to shudder beneath him. He held you there for a moment, before sliding back up, his tongue running along the pulsing vein, until he reached the head again where he began to suck and lick at the leaking slit before plunging back down your shaft. You were in a trance, all coherent though gone. All you could see, all you could feel, all you could think about, was his head, bobbing up and down, his lips wrapped tightly around you, his tongue sliding wetly along your length. His eyes locked with yours as he increased the speed of his movements, knowing you needed release. Knowing you were close.
You placed your feet flat on the bed, your knees bent, and thrust lightly, meeting his mouth in a perfect rhythm. You were so close you could see it, almost taste it. The pleasure you felt was almost tangible. And suddenly, you felt it, rising deep inside you, begging to be let out.
With a strangled cry, his name flew off your lips and you erupted, white-hot ropes shooting into his mouth. Your back arched up toward him, your body shook with intense waves of pleasure as he swallowed everything you offered him. You fell back onto the soft sheets, your body still shaking, and he gently let your softening member fall from his mouth. Weakly, you reached for him, pulling him up your body until he was flat against you. You kissed him hungrily, wanting to taste yourself on his tongue. His hands rested on your hips as he let you explore his mouth, his tongue sliding wetly along with yours.
You felt his hardness press against your leg and you wanted to repay the favor, but when you told him so, he simply smiled and shook his head.
“That was for you, baby. All for you.” You wrapped your arms around him and pulled him tightly against you, his head resting beneath your chin. It was his gift to you, the pleasure you felt. And for him, for now, it was enough.
“I love waking up like that,” you told him, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. You felt him smile against your skin, his fingers running lightly along your body.
“I love waking you up like that.” He turned so he could see you. “Actually, I just love waking up with you, period.” He kissed your chin, a gentle press of lips. “Thank you, for last night. I guess I just needed your reassurance. I’d been alone all day and the thoughts just kind of overwhelmed me.” He didn’t need to thank you. You loved him, and he loved you. That was enough thanks. More than enough.
“Are you ok now?” You asked, brushing your fingers through his hair.
“I’m still a little scared. I mean, think about it, Justin. We’re gonna be fathers. But what you helped me realize last night is that even though it’s a little scary, we’re in this together. And with you by my side, I know everything will be ok.” He leaned in to kiss you softly, his lips just brushing your own before he pulled back, leaning on one elbow, his hand running along your chest.
“I still can’t believe we’re going to be fathers.” It still amazed you that in, hopefully, just one more day you were going to be bringing a tiny baby into your home. A baby that the two of you could call your own.
When the two of you had decided you were ready for children, you looked into all the options available to you. Mainly, adoption or finding a surrogate mother. The problem with a surrogate mother was you both would have wanted it to be someone you know. But neither of you felt you had the right to ask any of your female friends to bare a child for you and then want to take that child away as your own.
So adoption seemed like the best method. You looked into it, did some research, and talked to some adoption agencies. The agency found a young pregnant woman who was going to give birth then give the child up. You weren’t sure of the specifics, and she hadn’t wanted to meet you. You were told she thought it would make it easier that way, on herself. That had been seven months ago. And now, tomorrow, she was due to give birth to the tiny baby that would become your own.
JC rested his head on your chest and sighed.
“It’s all a little overwhelming. I mean, I’m ready for this. I know I am. It’s just...” he let himself trail off.
“I know.” You tilted your chin to kiss the top of his head. “I know.”
*****
That afternoon, you and JC were lounging around by the pool, just content to be with each other, when your cell phone rang. JC lifted himself off the lounge chair you had been cuddled up on with him and retrieved it from the table, tossing it to you before making his way inside to grab something to drink. You didn’t immediately recognize the number but you recognized the voice the moment you said hello. It was your caseworker at the adoption agency. A moment of fear coursed through you as she said your name, but that fear was quickly replaced when she congratulated you. Apparently the young mother had gone into labor earlier that morning and had given birth to a healthy baby boy. The two of you were wanted at the hospital.
A huge grin spread across your face as you thanked her and hung up, racing inside to find JC. He was in the kitchen, just about to take a drink from his glass of water when you came bursting through the door. He jumped, startled, and dropped the large plastic glass to the ground. He ignored the water spreading quickly across the tiled floor and instead, turned concerned eyes toward you. You reached him quickly, pulling him tightly against your body, wrapping your arms around him in an almost crushing hug.
“We’re parents, C.” He pulled back to look at you and you explained what the caseworker had told you. You were parents. Parents to a new baby boy. The grin that spread across his face mirrored your own and he pulled you close to him again, closing his lips over yours. You kissed him hungrily for a few moments before pulling away, reminding him that your son was waiting at the hospital.
*****
On the way to the hospital the two of you contemplated calling your families and friends, but decided, for now at least, to wait. You wanted a little while of just the two of you with your son before it became a madhouse up there. So instead of making phone calls, you both sat quietly, hands clasped together and resting on JC’s thigh, huge smiles upon your faces.
Once you arrived at the hospital, you took his hand in yours, squeezing gently, sharing all the love you felt for him. He squeezed back and stepped closer to you, allowing the side of his body to rest against yours as you made your way toward the maternity ward.
You saw your caseworker sitting in the waiting room and made your way to her. She saw the two of you and climbed to her feet, smiling warmly.
“And how are the proud parents doing?” You looked at JC at the same moment his head turned to you. A secret, loving look passed between the two of you before turning back to face the older woman standing in front of you. “Congratulations you two. I already got the mother’s signature on all the necessary papers. Now I just need both of you to sign them.” She produced a small stack of papers and a pen. You leaned over JC’s shoulder, reading along with him as quickly as you could. Once you were both satisfied you understood everything, you each signed everything you were suppose to. She took the papers back and placed them in her briefcase before turning to you again.
“Are you ready to see your son?”
As she led the way, it hit you just how nervous you actually were. JC had gone through it the night before, the fear, the feelings of inadequacy, the what ifs. You had been there for him, reassuring him everything was going to be ok. But now that the moment had arrived, you needed that same reassurance. As if reading your mind, he turned to you, catching your eyes with his. He squeezed your hand tightly for a moment and looked lovingly into your eyes, his bright blue orbs sparkling happily. And just like last night, when you had reassured him, he did it now with a simple look. Nothing needed to be said. Everything would be ok. It was a promise you both made to each other.
A private room had been set up for the two of you, because of your celebrity status, and she led you there, leaving the two of you alone with the promise of finding someone to bring your son to you.
JC sat down on the bed and you stood in front of him, leaning down so your forehead was pressed against his. He rested his hands on your hips, squeezing gently.
“This is really it, J.” He smiled warmly up at you. “I love you so much, baby. I’m so glad we’re doing this, together.”
“I love you too, JC. And I wouldn’t want to be doing this with anyone else.”
*****
Your son was beautiful. Everything about him was perfect: his tiny feet, his little hand, fingers curls around one of your own, his bight, searching blue eyes, everything. You never thought it was possible to fall in love with anyone other than JC. You’d know for a long time that he was your forever, your one and only. But now, with your son resting in your arms, his eyes staring up at you in wonder, you knew you were in love. This little miracle belonged to the two of you, and you were sure there wasn’t ever going to be a moment as happy as this in your entire life.
You felt a presence behind you and turned in the chair, your eyes meeting JC’s. He smiled at the sight before him, you holding Sean, cooing to him gently. He made his way over to the two of you and sat down on the arm of your chair, leaning his body into yours.
“He’s perfect,” JC said, running a finger softly along Sean’s head. The two of you had brought Sean home almost a week ago, but it still amazed you that this tiny miracle belonged to the two of you. You had nightmares of the adoption agency calling and telling you it had all been a mistake, that they were taking Sean away. The first night you’d had the nightmare, the night you’d brought Sean home from the hospital, you’d slipped out of bed and into the nursery. You’d leaned over the crib and watched your son sleep and you’d made a vow. A vow that no matter what, from this point on, you’d fight, tooth and nail, for him. Through anything. You weren’t sure how long you spent in there, eyes never leaving your son’s face, until JC had slipped warm arms around your waist, rested his chin on your shoulder, and kissed your cheek lightly. He’d whispered in your ear, knowing, somehow, what you were thinking and curbing your fears with his words.
That night, you’d slipped back in bed with him and made love until the sun had started to rise, the bond between you stronger now, if that was possible, with the love of your son, the vow to keep him safe, flowing between you.
Now, sitting here with JC resting against you, with Sean in your arms, you smiled to yourself and leaned back against JC, resting your head against his bicep. He kissed the top of your head before leaning down to kiss Sean’s head just as lightly. It was everything you’d ever hoped to have in your life. The fame was wonderful, the fans and the music a blessing, and the money a nice commodity. But this, JC and Sean, your family, brought you the ultimate happiness. This was your home, this was your life. And you’d never wish for anything more. You’d never need anything more.