The main stretch of campus was sprawled out before him. The trees were an array of colors; red, yellow, orange, sloping up over the green grassy hills and hanging down low over the sidewalk, creating a colorful canopy. That, along with student life moving around the peaceful area made the perfect setting for a photographer to sit idly and capture human activity, human life at its finest.
Justin was doing just that. He’d found a spot on the grass that overlooked the main stretch of sidewalk. He had his camera, a Fuji GW-690 III, with him and was more than content to spend his afternoon taking pictures of the activity going on around him. It was shots like these, rare moments caught on camera, that he treasured most. Some of his best work, in his opinion, came from when it wasn’t planned, but natural and organic. He loved afternoons like this when the weather was nice and people were moving about freely. It was when he felt the freest as a photographer.
It wasn’t always picture after picture. Sometimes he could rest there for a couple hours and only get a few shots in. Other times he went through five rolls of film. It was when the moment was right. And he never knew how often those moments would come. The shots were random. A group of people laughing and having a good time with friends, two guys playing Frisbee, a couple laying on the grass, sharing lazy conversation and kisses, a single person walking to or from class, mind wandering off to homework or the test they had coming up. And if the lighting was right, the sun shining down through the trees, the shots seemed to come to life, shimmering with illumination.
When the sun started to set, the light fading, Justin would pack up his camera, grab his bag, and head back home to develop the pictures he’d taken. The first moment they appeared, after he’d pulled them out of the film tank to dry and finally turned the lights on, was the best part. He loved looking at the images he’d managed to capture. He’d study them, over and over, until he had each and every detail memorized. Then he’d store them away in his portfolio, only sharing them when it was necessary.
A few, a very rare few, ended up displayed in his apartment. The ones that seemed to truly capture human life at its finest. It was these few that were his favorites, the ones he was most proud of. And they were on display for all to see.
Today, he spent a little over an hour, capturing shot after shot on his camera. The light was working in his favor and he was drawn to everything and anything. He only moved from his spot when it was time to head to his last class of the day, already anxious to get home and start developing the images he’d captured.
*****
Justin stepped out of the darkroom, still drying his hands on the towel he held. He’d grab something to eat and let the pictures dry before going back in to look them all over. As he walked toward the kitchen, he looked out the large picture windows that made up one wall of his loft. New York City lay below him, bustling with activity. People moving everywhere, all at once. Traffic lining the streets, cars honking, bikes weaving in and out between the cars. Taxi upon taxi stopping to drop people of or pick people up. Loud yells out car windows at other vehicles. It was city living at its finest and Justin wouldn’t trade his place in it for anything.
Aside from sitting on campus, watching the student life, he also liked to take pictures of the city, and more importantly, the people in it. New York was a busy place and for a photographer as interested in photographing people as he was, it was the perfect place to live.
His dinner consisted of left over pizza and a can of soda. City living. He was originally a country boy, born and raised in rural Tennessee. Any major city was a shock to his system, but he was sure New York City was more shocking than most. He’d moved to New York just three years ago. He’d wanted to get away from the country. It had never suited him and he’d itched for more. Through scholarships and student loans, he was now a student of New York University, earning his bachelors degree in their fine arts program.
And he couldn’t be happier with the way things were turning out for him.
After he finished his pizza, he moved away from where he’d been leaning against the windows and set his plate in the sink before making his way back to the darkroom he’d had set up the week he’d moved into the loft. Walking inside, he flipped the light on and was greeted with an assortment of pictures hanging before him.
Moving toward them, he started the process of looking them over. He took each one into his hands and studied them. It wasn’t so much the faces he was studying, but instead, the interactions between the people in his photos. And the way the light was splayed across the image, illuminating their faces, creating shadows across their skin.
It was the fifth picture down, hanging innocently. It had been intended to be a shot of a group of people standing on the freshly manicured lawn, talking and laughing, having a good time. But instead, all he could see, all he could focus on, was the lone man sitting on a bench. The group was there, but his eyes wouldn’t even move to that part of the picture. Instead, they were drawn to this man, glasses perched on the end of his nose, chocolate curls framing his face, a few strands blowing in the wind and sliding across his face. His coat was wrapped tightly around him, zipped up to ward off the fall chill. He was reading a book, concentrating on it completely. It was as if the noise and movement around him didn’t exist. It was as if he was the only one there, all alone in the world of his book. He was the most beautiful man Justin had ever seen.
Justin finally tore his eyes away from the picture and moved to study the rest. But his concentration was shot and his mind wouldn’t focus. It was the first time he’d never been able to focus when it involved pictures, photographs. And as much as that scared him, he was fully aware of the reason behind it. Sighing, he grabbed the photograph of the lone stranger and flipped the light off as he exited the room. The rest of the pictures would have to wait until tomorrow. There was nothing he could do about it now.
*****
A week later and Justin was perched on the same patch of grass, camera in his hands once again. Throughout the week, he had not been able to get the beautiful stranger out of his mind and he knew, when he was completely honest with himself, that being back here, the same time and place as he had been a week ago, was partially in hopes of seeing the man again.
But at least his concentration was back. He was able to focus on everything and everyone else around him, his mind only occasionally wandering back to the stranger he only had one picture of. As he snapped pictures, he let his mind focus solely on that, getting caught up, like he always did, in the activity of human life around him.
And then, through the lens of his camera, the stranger was there, sitting on a different bench, without a book this time, but there just the same. His eyes were wandering around, darting back and forth, but his head never moved. His hands were clasped tightly together and pressed between his knees. His back was perfectly straight, not touching the back of the bench at all. Justin snapped a few pictures of the man before dropping his camera to his side. His gaze wandered, unobstructed now, to the man once again.
Last time, in the one picture Justin had captured before, he’d looked relaxed, at ease as he sat reading his book. Now he looked like he was very nervous. He looked like he had energy coursing through his body, strung tight and ready to burst at the slightest movement. He looked like he was seeing everything, but registering nothing. Justin had a feeling that if he approached this man, the stranger would jump, startled. But he also knew he couldn’t go another week with just the pictures to satisfy his curiosity with this beautiful man.
So, against his better judgment, Justin slipped his camera back into it’s case and climbed to his feet, rubbing the dirt and grass off his pants quickly before he made his way across the green lawns. He stopped a few feet away, his breath catching in his throat at the sight of this man up close. He was even more breathtaking than in the picture Justin had of him at home. He had the intense urge to pull his camera out and snap a couple more pictures, but he was pretty sure the man wouldn’t be completely ok with that. It was one thing when it was from a distance, across the lawn. It was another when it was up close and personal.
And then, before Justin could get his feet to move again, the man’s eyes were on him, shifting back and forth across his face. They darted nervously from his eyes to his lips, and then down to his own hands still resting in his lap. It was a few long moments, Justin not daring to move, before the man tilted his head slightly, peering up at Justin from under long lashes, no doubt checking if he was still there. And before Justin could say or do anything, the man grabbed his bag and stood, walking quickly in the opposite direction of Justin.
“Wait!” Justin called. The man paused but didn’t turn around. Instead, he stood with his head bent, shoulders hunched slightly, bag slung over one shoulder. Justin took a few tentative steps in his direction, close enough to speak without yelling, but far enough to give this man the space he obviously craved. “I’m Justin.” The stranger hesitated for a moment and then turned slowly, eyes still cast toward the ground, peeking up at Justin every so often from under those long lashes. But he said nothing. “I just, well, I happened to accidentally get a picture of you last week, while you were reading. And then I saw you again today. So I just wanted to, um, introduce myself.”
Justin wasn’t a shy person by nature, and even now it wasn’t shy he was feeling exactly. But the nervous energy pouring out of this man was rubbing off on him. It was an almost tangible thing, crackling between them like volts of electricity. Justin was convinced the man wasn’t going to say anything to him, even though he still stood in front of him, facing him but not looking at him. But just as he started to turn, started to walk away, the man lifted his head slightly, meeting Justin’s eyes fully for the first time.
“I’m JC.” It was quiet, tentative. Scared. The realization hit Justin before he was even aware he was trying to put a name to it. This man, JC, was scared. Of what, Justin wasn’t sure, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t him, not exactly. He just wasn’t sure he was helping matters out much.
“Would you like to get a cup of coffee with me, JC? I have about an hour until my next class so...” but he was cut off by the slight shaking of JC’s head.
“I don’t think I should.”
“But you want to.” It wasn’t a question. Justin could read people fairly easily. It came from spending as much time watching people, photographing people, as he did. It was obvious whatever had JC so scared was what was preventing him from getting a cup of coffee with Justin. JC stayed silent for a few moments, eyes glancing everywhere except at Justin, and then Justin’s theory was confirmed by a slight shake of head. Had he not been looking for it, he would have missed it completely. But it was there.
“Just a cup of coffee, I promise.” JC hesitated for a few more moments before nodding again. Justin smiled gently and took a step closer. JC’s eyes went wide and he stepped back quickly, catching Justin off guard.
“Sorry. I just...” JC sighed. “Sorry.” Justin knew he didn’t know this man at all, and really had no right to get involved, but there was just something about JC that made Justin want to help him.
“Don’t worry about it. Come on, I know a great place a couple blocks away.” Once they were walking, Justin noticed that JC walked half a pace behind him, close, but never next to Justin. It was almost as if he saw himself as below Justin and had to remain behind him. Justin slowed down his pace slightly, falling into step next to JC and glancing over at him, a soft smile on his face.
The coffee shop was busy, but not packed and they found a table fairly easily once they’d gotten their drinks. After a little while, JC finally started opening up a little more. He met Justin’s eyes when they talked and he told Justin about school, what kind of classes he was taking, and about his professors. But anything that even started to dig a little deeper, get a little more personal, and he shut down again, eyes glancing nervously around the room before resting in his lap again. Justin figured out pretty quickly that when something got too personal and JC shut down, all he had to do to get him back was to ask a non-personal question.
The most animated he saw JC the entire time they were there was when he asked JC about the book he’d been reading the week before, the week Justin had first gotten his picture. A smile reached his lips, causing his eyes to crinkle in excitement and it was the cutest thing Justin had ever seen. His hand moved from his lap and started waving about, almost wildly, drawing circles in the air as he spoke. It was a passion, something he loved to do. Justin picked up on it immediately. He knew it was so easy to pick up on because it matched the passion he held for photography. He also knew that was why JC had looked so comfortable and relaxed the first time. He’d been caught up in his passion, caught up in the story the book was unfolding in front of his eyes.
“I also write,” JC said slowly, shyly, eyes glancing back down to the table, fingers restraining themselves around his cup of coffee. “But I’m not very good. I just like to do it.” Justin could see the passion he held for writing as well, could see it in his eyes, in the white knuckles of his hands gripping the coffee cup. He was restraining himself though, not allowing himself to get excited about it.
“I bet you’re better at it than you think you are,” Justin said, ducking slightly to meet his eyes. JC glanced up, eyes holding questions. “I can see it in you, hear it in the words you speak. You have a very eloquent way of talking. That has to show in your writing. It’s a part of you.” The smile JC sent him was shy, but genuine.
*****
It became a routine for the two of them. At first, it hadn’t been planned, had simply been by chance. Justin showed up in the same place once a week, not really looking for JC but hoping to see him just the same. It was convenient and what he would have been doing had he not met JC anyway. But every week, JC was there, sitting on one of the benches, usually reading. He never looked like he was waiting for Justin, specifically, but Justin could see the relief on his face when their eyes finally met.
Eventually they started planning it, leaving each week with the promise of next week. Justin started looking forward to these weekly meetings, and he could tell JC looked forward to them as well.
They’d go get a cup of coffee or something to eat and just talk. Most of the time, it was about books or art or photography. It was about their classes and their teachers and the tests they had coming up. JC became less nervous around Justin every week, meeting his eyes more often, letting himself get excited about things more often. Justin found it adorable when JC would let go, hands spinning wildly as he talked. The topics of conversation varied, but it was still very impersonal in a way. Sure, he was getting glimpses inside JC, finding out what his passions were, but at the same time, he kept his personal life very hidden. Any time it came up, he’d shut down, eyes drawing away from Justin to glance nervously around the room for a moment before looking back at him. And Justin could see it in his eyes. This wasn’t an open topic of conversation. This wasn’t something JC was comfortable talking about.
So Justin would let it go, change the conversation back to safe territory. And just as quickly, JC’s eyes would open back up and it would be as if the moment had never happened.
Now, six weeks since he’d first met JC, they were, once again, leaving the small café they’d stopped in for lunch to head back to campus. Justin had a class soon, and JC had one not long after that. As they stepped out onto the sidewalk, JC fell into step beside Justin and it made him smile. It had taken awhile to get JC to do that on his own, but Justin was glad he finally did instead of walking a half a pace behind him.
Once they reached the campus they stopped under a tree. In just a moment, Justin would turn to go one way and JC would turn to head the other way. These were their last few moments together until next week. And Justin didn’t want to wait another week to see this man he had fallen for the moment he’d seen his picture. JC turned to smile at him and before Justin could question what he was doing, he was leaning in toward JC. His lips touched JC’s softly, barely any pressure. It was simply lips on lips, mouths slightly open, breaths moving against each other, drinking each other in. JC let go for a moment, surrendering to the kiss, surrendering to Justin’s mouth on his.
But then, as suddenly as it started, JC pulled back quickly, as if he’d been burned, eyes wide and searching. Justin regretted it immediately. Not the actual kiss exactly, because JC’s lips had been soft, tasted sweet like the cinnamon he’d had in his drink at the coffee shop. But he regretted it because of the look on JC’s face. He was scared again, eyes darting back and forth across the lawns of the campus. His hands were shoved deep in his pockets and he rocked back and forth nervously.
“JC...” Justin took a step closer to him, hand reached out to touch him, comfort him. But JC’s eyes darting from his face to his hand, the fear he saw buried deep in the silver blue orbs, was enough to make him stop, hand falling back to his side. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t, I don’t.” Justin sighed. “I’m sorry.” JC shook his head, eyes dropping to the ground.
“Justin, please.” JC took a deep breath and let his eyes meet Justin’s again. “Please, I can’t. I have a boyfriend.” A soft, sad smile reached JC’s lips. It looked like it was filled with regret. Justin just wasn’t sure what the regret was for. “I’m sorry I never told you. I have to go.” And before Justin had a chance to say anything, JC turned and hurried off in the other direction, head straight forward, not pausing, not once turning back. Justin’s shoulders slumped slightly. Somehow, he had a feeling this would be the last time he saw JC.