Justin was in love with JC.
It took him exactly five days to admit that to himself after he met Adam. The jealousy had confused him at first. And as much as he tried to tell himself it was because JC was in a relationship now and would have less time for their friendship, he could never quite make himself believe it.
Then finally, standing in front of his bathroom mirror, getting ready for bed, five days after JC had introduced Adam, he finally admitted it. Out loud. Only to himself, since he was the only one in the house, but it was still one of the hardest confessions he’d ever had to make.
But he was too late. JC seemed happy with Adam. Justin could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice. And Justin wasn’t selfish enough to ruin that for him.
He suddenly realized how JC had felt, the emotions he had gone through, wanting your best friend and knowing they were out of reach. So instead, he decided to suck it up for the remaining week he had before heading back to work on his album some more.
If JC noticed anything, he didn’t say it. But Justin suspected he was too caught up in the new romance going on around him. Justin didn’t blame him. It was a natural part of new relationships. They became your world until the newness wore off.
JC brought Adam around a few more times, claiming his boyfriend and his best friend had to get to know each other. But as much as Justin tried, he couldn’t make himself like Adam. He was nice enough, always friendly, always polite. And he seemed to treat JC wonderfully. But feeling how he felt, Justin knew there was no way he and Adam could be friends.
At night, when he was alone in his bed, Justin would let his mind wander, let his imagination take him to places beyond his grasp. He’d imagine he’d done things differently, that he hadn’t freaked out, hadn’t pushed JC away. Imagined that now JC was laying there next to him, curled against him, pressing soft kisses to his neck and chest.
Then he’d fall asleep with tears on his cheeks, with a sigh on his lips, only to wake up the next morning and start pretending all over again.
Justin had three days left before heading back to Virginia Beach and once again the guys were all together, this time at Justin’s house. And once again, JC had dragged Adam along with him. With sunglasses covering his eyes, Justin let them roam over the backyard from his place on the lounge chair. Chris and Lance were in the pool, Chris trying to find out exactly how much of a lung capacity Lance had by holding his head underwater. JC was sitting on the edge, legs dangling in the water, laughing at the two of them as Lance struggled to get away from Chris. Joey and Adam were manning the grill, arguing good-naturedly over the right way to grill a burger. Personally, Justin didn’t see how there could be much of a debate. You put them on, cooked one side till it was nice and brown, flipped them and repeated.
Moving his eyes back to JC, he let them roam over his naked back under the cover of the sunglasses. His muscles rippled with laugher, the sun beating down causing a thin layer of sweat to break out and slide across his skin. Justin heard Adam announce that he needed a bathroom break and Justin finally tore his eyes away from JC. Needing the distraction, he climbed off the lounge chair and headed toward the house, calling for drink orders before slipping inside the cool kitchen.
As he was pulling drinks out of the fridge, Adam came back into the kitchen.
“Hey man, need some help there?” And Justin couldn’t let himself do anything but suck it up, offer Adam a smile, and hand him some of the drinks that needed to carried outside.