The glances weren't new, exactly. And neither were the arms around his shoulders, the hand resting on the small of his back. But there was something different about them lately, something that hadn't been there before. The glances lasted a moment longer then they use to. The arm and hand held on a bit longer.
It wasn't anything noticeable, really. No one else had picked up on it. But Justin had known JC for a long time, and he knew him well. Really well. So it was inevitable that he notice it. But when he would meet JC's eyes in a questioning glance, JC would turn his head, a slight blush creeping up his cheeks, and pull his hand away.
It was suddenly like he was embarrassed to be around Justin, but at the same time needed him for something. It was like there was something serious on his mind that he had to get off, but wasn't sure how to go about telling anyone. Justin had seen it before, once, when JC had come out to the rest of the guys. Justin had already known. JC had told him back before Nsync was even a thought in any of their minds. But when he'd finally come out to Joey, Chris, and Lance, he'd been just like this for about a week prior.
Justin wasn't sure what was going on this time, exactly, but he was determined to get to the bottom of it. JC wouldn't talk about it. When Justin brought it up, asking him what was up, asking if everything was okay, JC played dumb. He got the look on his face like he'd been off in another world and had no idea what Justin was talking about.
What he failed to remember was that Justin was his best friend, and therefore knew him better than he knew himself most the time. It was a defensive mechanism, one he'd picked up to help with the public scrutiny they were constantly under. The fans, the media, the general public thought him spacey and often oblivious. Justin knew better, and he wasn't fooled. JC was smarter than most people gave him credit for. But obviously talking about it wasn't going to work, so he needed a new game plan.
Digging around through his things was out. That wasn't something Justin would allow himself to do unless JC seemed to be in some sort of trouble, but Justin was sure that wasn't it. They trusted each other too much, and Justin wasn't going to risk ruining that trust by going through JC's bags or reading the things he wrote in his private journal. Still, he knew he needed to get to the bottom of this somehow.
He started watching JC closely as he went about his life, moving around the bus, going from venue to venue for shows, during interviews. And the more he watched, the more he noticed JC looking back. Or, more accurately, already looking when Justin would turn to find him. JC's eyes would meet his for a long moment before he'd blush and turn away. But Justin didn't turn away, and he could see the tense muscles, knowing he was under scrutiny. He could see JC shifting, trying to curl into himself, to hide from Justin's stare. And Justin was no farther then he had been when he first realized JC needed to get something off his chest.
Then, one afternoon, as he was sitting in the lounge of the bus, he looked up from the TV where his game was playing only to catch JC watching him again. But this time, before JC could turn away, Justin saw it. The look in his eyes. It was a look Justin recognized easily in his best friend, although it had never been directed toward him before. It was the look JC got when he was interested in someone. And suddenly all the pieces fell into place. The long glances, the arms around his shoulder, the hand on his back. It all suddenly fit and Justin was surprised he hadn't seen it earlier. JC had a crush, on him.
But the more he thought about it, he wasn't so sure that was really it. All the signs seemed to be there, but Justin wasn't sure how it could possible be true after all this time. They'd known each other for years. They'd worked and lived together. Justin wasn't sure how, after all this time, JC would finally develop a crush on him. So he decided he needed some sort of proof before he did anything with this information.
With a little over a month left on the tour, they ended up running into a problem with one of the hotels. There was some sort of mix up and instead of the five rooms promised for the guys, they only had four. It wasn't a big deal. It was only for one night, there were two beds, and they'd shared rooms much smaller and much more cramped than this back in Germany. Justin spoke up immediately, saying he'd room with JC for the night. His eyes turned to JC, watching his reaction. JC swallowed thickly, but then a grin lit up his face and he threw an arm around Justin's shoulders.
"This will be great. Just like old times, man. I'll let you stay up later than you should and we'll watch bad movies on TV." Justin smiled, mind flashing back to the days in Germany. JC had always been his favorite roommate back then, because Justin could easily convince him to stay awake for "just another hour, JC. Please?" And after just a couple pleases, JC always caved with a sigh.
That night after the show, after they'd showered and laid down to watch bad movies on TV, talking and laughing all the way through them, Justin finally curled up with the covers over his shoulders. JC had crashed about twenty minutes ago and was snoring softly in the other bed.
Just as Justin started to fade, his mind shutting down and heading toward the blissful unconscious of sleep, he heard a soft whimper. Turning, he could just make out JC's body in the bed across the room, twisting around under the covers. He was having a nightmare. Justin threw the covers back and moved to JC's bed, intent on waking him from the horrors of his dream, when he heard his own name in a mere whisper emitted from JC's lips. Justin's hand paused, inches away from JC's shoulder and as he watched, JC's forehead creased in frustration, his hands came up, reaching for something, or someone, blindly.
"Justin, please. I'm sorry. So sorry. Please don't do this. Don't leave just because of how I feel. Don't do that to Chris and Lance and Joey. I'm sorry. I'll stop, I'll make the feelings stop. I'll make myself stop loving you. Please." The words were clipped, broken, half of them no more than a whimper. But Justin heard it all loud and clear.
And in that moment, he had his proof. He knew for sure that, yes, JC was interested in him. His heart lurched. His best friend was hurting over him. It wasn't something he liked seeing. He'd do anything for JC. Reaching his hand back out, he shook JC gently, causing him to jump awake, panting heavily, eyes searching the room quickly before landing on Justin's concerned face.
"You were having a nightmare. Go back to sleep." He straightened JC's tangled covers, pulling them back up over his thin frame before running a hand softly over JC's head for a moment and sending a soft smile his way. He was back in his own bed moments later, wondering what, exactly, he should do with this new information. He hated seeing JC hurting, especially because of him, but had no idea what to do to make it better.