Chapter Two

“Your turn.”

I jumped up and ran to the stage and tried, unsuccessfully to jump up onto it. I grunted and pushed on the stage, trying to lift myself, but to no avail. I crossed my arms and turned to the five staring at me. “Swell bunch you are, rushing to help a lady.”

Lance and JC exchanged a look and rolled their eyes, both standing and walking to where I stood, pouting, to help me up onto the stage. JC leaned over, cupping his hands so I could step on them and Lance grabbed me around the waist. With both, I was soon up on the stage. I spun around and narrowed my eyes at the two still standing below me. “Okay... which one of you just copped a feel?” They stared at me. “My butt. One of you just grabbed my butt.” JC raised his eyebrows and turned to Lance. His mouth dropped, but Lance quickly recovered.

He stepped closer to the stage and I leaned down. “Briley...” he hissed. “I thought we agreed that JC and Kelly wouldn’t find out about our secret affair.”

I played along. “Then you shouldn’t have grabbed my butt when JC was standing right there.”

He slid his hand up on the stage and let his fingers settle softly on my foot. “But I just can’t keep my hands off of you.” I slapped his hand away.

“Lance, do it again, on purpose or not, and you and Kelly may have to break up.”

“But I thought you liked being bad.”

“No, you’ll have to break up because you will no longer be a man.” I stood up straight, giving Lance a smug smile before I turned to grab the closest microphone. The four below me laughed as Lance made his way to his seat, pretending to be all upset. I looked at them each in turn. “Any requests?” I ignored all their requests and started singing my own choice. “You’re all I ever wanted! You’re all I ever needed! So tell me what to do now, ‘cause I... I... I... I... I... I want you back! It’s hard to say your sorry, it’s hard to make the things I did undone...” I stopped singing as I noticed all five were trying to be nice, but cringing all the same. “I’m not that bad,” I said in defense. All of them were avoiding my gaze. “Different song maybe?” I asked.

“Please,” Joey said sarcastically.

I thought for a moment. “I got it.” I took a deep breath and hummed a few bars first. “A little bit of Justin in my life, a little bit of Chris by my side, a little bit of JC’s all I need, little bit of Lance is what I see. Little bit of Joey in the sun, little bit of Stevie all night long, bit of ‘N Sync here I am, little bit of me makes you my men...”

This time, all five were trying not to laugh at me. Finally, JC choked out a reply. “That’s... creative. But Stevie?”

I shrugged. “There’s only five of you... Joey’s brother is just as cool as you all are. Hello.”

“Very original version,” Lance replied, nodding his head, hoping to be convincing.

I stared at him. “You don’t think it is!” I exclaimed with a slight pout. “What is it Lance? Do you want the ‘all night long’ instead of Steve?”

JC threw Lance a teasing smile. Lance stood and addressed the group. “I think this would be my cue to exit stage left...” Lance pointed in that direction. “And if anyone needs me, I’ll be in the dressing room, hopefully talking to Kelly.” He hurriedly began walking away from the group. I watched from the stage with an amused smile as Justin stopped him.

“Hey Lance?” Lance turned to glare at Justin, his expression showing that he already knew he wouldn’t be pleased with whatever Justin had to say. “I think it’s cool that you talk to Kelly so often, but will you please clean up this time? Picking up hand towels and lotion is really getting old.” Lance’s glare deepened as Justin flashed an innocent ‘what?’ look. I noticed Lance clenching his fist and I fought a smile, hoping he would do exactly what Justin deserved. I almost laughed as Lance threw a hand up, flipping Justin off.

Justin’s mouth dropped. “He did not just do that. Did he?” Justin turned to Chris after staring at Lance’s retreating back.

“Afraid so little buddy,” Chris said with a smirk, his tone sympathetic, but his expression saying something completely different. Chris opened his mouth to elaborate on Lance’s most recent action, but Justin cut him off.

“Chris, just shut the hell up.” Justin stood and stomped off in the opposite direction that Lance had just left in.

The four of us that remained exchanged a look. “Well, I think he’s pissed,” Joey stated, fighting a grin. He then clapped his hands. “Anyway, I’m over it. Anyone hungry? Chris?”

“Naw... I think I’ll stick around here and hang out with JC and Briley.” Chris gave us a smile. Joey just shrugged and left in search of the catering room.

“Are you sure you’re not hungry Chris? You should be,” JC pushed.

“No, it’s okay JC. I don’t mind if Chris sticks around.” He threw me a look that was begging me to make Chris leave. “After all, we’re just going to sit around and tell each other how much we love each other.” I jumped off the stage and sidled up next to JC, slipping an arm around his waist. Chris watched as JC leaned over to give me a soft kiss.

“On the other hand... I think Joey might want some company.” Chris jumped up and looked around for Joey, finally spotting him about to leave the arena. “Joey! Wait!” Chris began to run, leaving JC and I alone.

“That was good,” JC complimented, beginning to lead me the way Lance had left. “Where’d you hear that one?”

I just shrugged. “I heard Lance use it on Tyler once.” Tyler was Kelly’s little brother who I knew was always just THERE when Lance and Kelly wanted alone time.

“Figures you wouldn’t have come up with something that clever on your own,” JC teased, ruffling my hair. I just stuck my tongue out at him and smoothed my hair back down. “So, got any ideas for plans today?”

“I didn’t know if you’d go for it or not, but I was hoping you’d help me pick out a new bikini.”

A sly smile crossed his face. “You know I can’t say no to you, especially when we’re discussing something as serious as a bikini. Do I get to pick it out?”

“Only if you care to pick out a full butt coverage bikini.”

“Damn!” He snapped his fingers and leaned over, kissing my forehead. “What do you say about buying two?”

“I say that if you want me to have a thong, then you buy it. I’m not wasting my money on that little of material.” I looked around at my surroundings then, noticing that we were almost to the dressing room. “Where are we going?”

“I have to let someone know where I’m going and get my wallet.” I nodded as JC pushed the door open and walked into the room. I stood in the doorway and looked around, seeing the room was already a major mess. Lance was sprawled on the couch talking quietly into his cell phone. I waited until JC reappeared. He stood next to me, just staring at Lance.

“Hang on a second,” he said into the phone, then turned his attention to us. “Can I help you?”

“Just wanted to say that we’re going. We’ll be back before the meet and greet.” Lance nodded. “Oh, and... XYZ.”

Lance raised an eyebrow. “Huh?”

“XYZ,” JC repeated. I choked on a giggle as Lance sat up, looking down at his zipper. Blushing, he slowly zipped his pants as JC pulled me out of the room. The second the door closed, I burst into laughter.

“That has got to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen!” I exclaimed as JC and I left the back of the venue. “I feel kind of sorry for him though... especially after Justin’s comment earlier.”

JC grinned over at me. “Actually, that was the beauty in letting him know that I noticed his zipper was down.”

“You’re terrible!” I exclaimed, slapping at him.

“You’re saying that like it’s ALWAYS a bad thing,” JC mumbled, leaning over to kiss my neck. I sighed.

“Not always,” I replied with a smile. I stopped walking, JC stopping as well, but not removing his lips from my neck. “Hey honey?”

“Hmm?” He mumbled.

“Get in the car,” I replied with a laugh, jerking away from him. His eyes stayed on me as I rounded the car and got in the driver’s side. As I started the car, he started to speak, but stopped. “What is it?” I asked.

“I was just wondering... how do you feel about things... I mean, like, if you’ve been taught one thing all your life, but you finally decided to give it a chance and realized that it was right for you?”

I looked over at him distracted as I manuevered the car through the thick Dallas traffic. “What are you talking about?”

“Never mind...” JC sighed as he looked out the window. “Forget I said anything.”

“JC, I’d have to get out of that thing the second I got it wet!”

He gave me an innocent smile. “That’s the point.”

I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from the sarcastic comebacks. “I’m not buying a silk bathing suit.” I paused. “And just so you know, yes, I caught onto the sexual undertones of that comment. I’m just choosing to ignore you when the testosterone takes over.” I continued thumbing through the racks, trying to ignore the strong presence behind me. I felt his hands slide around my stomach and down to the lower part of my stomach. I pulled away from him. “I’m going to go try these on.”

I hurried to the dressing rooms. I tried the first bathing suit on. As I inspected myself in the mirror, I noticed JC’s shoes pass by the room I was in. I then heard the door next to me swing shut. I just shrugged and continued inspecting myself from every angle. I finally decided it wasn’t for me and tried on the other two. Neither was a good fit either. I changed back into my street clothes and opened the door. As it squeaked open, I heard JC call out to me.

“Hey Briley, can you give your opinion on something?”

“Absolutely,” I replied, leaning against the wall outside the room he was in.

“Is there anyone else around?” He asked.

I narrowed my eyes. “No...” The door to his room opened and my mouth dropped in astonishment at what I was seeing. There, standing right in front of me, stood JC. No, not just JC. JC in a leopard printed... thing. He spun around to give me the full effect and it was then I noticed it was a leopard printed thong. My hand flew up to cover my eyes. I knew the overall effect was probably going to give me nightmares, but at the moment, I wanted nothing more than to jump him. I racked my brain to think of some type of sarcastic comment. “No offense, but you are too hairy and too skinny to wear something like that.”

“So... you don’t think I should buy it?” My head jerked up from where I was staring at the ground to meet his eyes. I saw the light dancing in the deep blue and I then knew he was just joking. I shook my head as he shrugged. “It was worth a try.” I started laughing as he pouted and closed the door to change. I stood there still, contemplating what I had just seen and what he had said earlier about realizing something you always thought was wrong was now right for you. Yes, the picture was pretty nasty, but he had no clue how much I got turned on by his little prank. I quickly made a decision before I could change my mind. The second that his door opened and he stepped out in his jeans, I pushed him back in the room, sliding the lock into place.

“Briley, what are you doing?” He asked as his back hit the wall.

“I was standing out there thinking about what you said earlier and then, I saw you in that leopard printed thong and decided that you might not object about taking all this to another level completely.”

He swallowed hard as what I was saying registered in his mind. “Briley, we can’t do this here.”

“We?” I laughed softly. “Who said anything about we? According to my plan, you won’t be doing anything to me.” I stepped closer to him and unbuttoned his pants. A low growl escaped his throat as I unzipped his pants, brushing the back of my hand down the front of his pants as well. He took a deep breath then pushed me back a bit.

“Briley, this isn’t... right.” He took a deep breath as he buttoned his pants. “I really don’t want to stop you, but I want it to be perfect for you.” He sighed. “Not just this part, but the entire experience. I want it to be something that you remember. Besides, I thought you had morals like Kelly.”

“I do... I mean, did... I mean, I don’t really know. I’m just starting to reconsider a bit. What’s the big deal if the two really love each other? Besides, what if I never get married?”

“That’s a good point, but Briley... not right now. We’ll know when it’s right.”

“Now... now.. we will...” JC started to suggest.

“Start the song now!” Justin interrupted.

JC sighed and looked at the sea of faces. “I don’t know guys... I think we can do better than this. I think we can actually get closer to everyone.”

Chris motioned to everyone. “Come on guys, he wants to get closer...” Chris started to climb off the stage.

“No!” Justin hollered as he lunged to pull Chris back up.

“We’ll never see you again!” JC added with a laugh.

“I got a better idea... stage dive!” Joey exclaimed. He pointed to the crowd. “Y’all will catch me, right?”

The crowd cheered, drowning out Lance’s next sentence. “JC, what are you doing? You are totally confusing us.”

JC smiled at him. “No, I know... but wait... I got an idea. Check this out...” The stage slowly began to rise as he said this.

“What did you do to the stage?” Lance exclaimed.

“I broke it!” JC yelled to the screams of all the girls.

“You know JC, this is pretty cool, but how does it get us closer to everyone out there? It’s like, a foot closer!” Lance stood, waiting for JC’s explanation.

“You still don’t get it. See all those people out there? We’re gonna go hang out with them for awhile.” JC grinned at Lance as the stage slowly began to move down the center of all the people as the music for the next song began. JC gave me a sweet smile as the stage slowly moved past me. I spun around, watching the progression of the show.

“And where do you think you’re going little Miss?” He asked.

“Backstage.”

“No you’re not. I am under strict orders to let no one back here.”

“You don’t understand. You see, I’m with the group.”

He laughed. “And I’m Madonna.” I gave him a pleading look. “No!” I sighed, knowing better than to fight with security. I bit my lip as I fought my way out to my car and got on the highway that would take me back to Fort Worth. I picked up my cell phone and quickly dialed JC’s number. It was busy, which meant he was probably trying to get ahold of me. I dialed it again, and again, got a busy signal.

“Damn!” I exclaimed, pushing redial. This time, I got his voice mail. I yelled out in anger. Then, I dialed Lance’s cell phone. The phone rang three times when he answered. “Lance, can I talk to JC please? I can’t get ahold of him on his phone.”

“It went dead when he was trying to call you.”

“I figured as much. Can I please talk to him?”

“Only if you promise that we’re still up for sex next time I’m in town. JC will never suspect anything.” I heard some shuffling on the other end.

“Lance!” I exclaimed, laughing despite my mood.

“Oh, you know I love it when you talk dirty baby,” Lance stated. There was a loud crashing noise. The next thing I heard was Lance dropping the phone and a loud, “what the hell is that!?” The other end grew silent and there was some more shuffling as JC picked up the phone.

“Briley? Where are you?”

“I’m in my car on my way back to Fort Worth.”

“But what about me?” JC asked, and I could tell by his voice he was hurt that I didn’t stick around.

“They wouldn’t let me backstage and I know it’s useless to argue with guards in this part of the world. I’ll just have to see you as soon as I can again, okay?”

JC sighed. “But Briley...” He paused. “Yeah... I’ll see you later.”

“I love you,” I said quietly.

“Ditto,” he replied as he hung up the phone. I sighed and set the phone down. This wasn’t how my evening was supposed to turn out.

“This message is for Emily. This is the admissions office at Texas A & M. We just wanted to let you know we’ve reviewed your application and you’ve been accepted. If you could call us back at...” I stopped the message and dropped the pencil. Emily was transferring? Why didn’t she tell me this? This couldn’t be happening. I couldn’t lose her. I did the only thing I knew to do. With shaking fingers, I picked up the phone and dialed the number for JC’s hotel room. As soon as I got ahold of him, we made plans for me to drive back since I really needed someone at the moment. They weren’t leaving until early the next morning, so JC said it would be fine for me to drive to the hotel to talk.

When I arrived back in Dallas, I was about to the edge of how much I knew I could take. When I reached JC’s room, he was listening to the 98* CD, “Revelation,” and wearing a pair of boxers and a wife beater. I hadn’t changed from my pajamas, so I was wearing a tank top and long pants. He opened the door for me and I fell into his arms, crying.

He guided me to the bed and sat me down, slipping an arm around my shoulders, letting me cry on his shoulder. “Now, what’s wrong?” He asked as I began to calm down.

“Emily’s transferring to Corpus Christi,” I whispered. “I can’t do this without her. She’s Kelly, but here. She’s my best friend right now. I-” my voice broke as another wave of tears came. “Why didn’t she tell me she was transferring?”

“Maybe she wanted to find out if she would even be able to before she mentioned it to you.”

“But I would have rather had her tell me before she knew for sure than finding a message on the answering machine from her new school!”

“Shh...” JC whispered, holding me against his chest. “It’s going to be okay.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “You have so many people behind you and there for you. Even if we’re not there physically, we’re there in here.” He placed his hand over my heart. I glanced down to see where his fingers were lightly resting before my gaze went back to his eyes, me blushing slightly. He didn’t move his hand, but he did lean over to gently let his lips graze mine. It was then that I knew he was right... everything was going to be okay... at least, I hoped.

I jumped up after he leaned back from me and began pacing the room. “I just... I can’t do this. I need to just-”

“You need to do something and get your mind off what is bothering you. Which, at the moment, is Emily. So, the answer is simple. Stay here tonight.”

My eyes widened. “JC, I couldn’t do that.”

“Briley, I’m not pushing you. This is all in your hands right now. I just want to be here for you and to help you take your mind off everything.” He reached up to tuck a lock of hair behind my ear.

I reached up and took his hand into mine and pulled away from him. “JC, I need to tell you something.” He leaned back and looked down into my eyes. The blue seemed to penetrate deep into my soul. “There’s a lot of things that you don’t understand about me. Things that you don’t know. In fact, there are things that only Kelly knows. I think that if we are going to become more serious, you need to know.” JC moved to the chair next to the bed.

“What is it?” He asked softly.

I took a deep breath. “JC, do you know why I originally said that I wanted to wait until I was married to have sex?”

“I just figured it was the way you were brought up... kind of like Kelly.”

“Well, yes and no. The biggest reason was because I’m scared of sex. When I was younger, I was sexually abused. As soon as I realized what he was doing to me, I started to think that sex was just something to be enjoyed by men and that women should have no part or say in it. I’m scared of intimacy in general. I’m scared that taking this into another level with you and never again feeling the way about you that I do right now. I would give anything to you, but I’m scared that if I do, it’ll push me away... or worse, push you away.”

JC moved to sit next to me again. “Oh baby...” he whispered. “That’s crazy. You could never do anything to push me away.”

“Let me finish.” I took another breath, not realizing I’d been holding my breath. “I’m scared of the emotional part, but more so of the physical act. When I was abused, it hurt really bad. That’s why I decided to wait. I figured that if I found someone I cared about that much, he would care about how sex made me feel.” JC leaned over and touched his lips against mine very softly, making the butterflies in my stomach start their cheerleading tryouts.

“I do,” he whispered.

“You do what?” I asked.

“Care about how you feel. I promise to do whatever I can to make you feel better. All you hve to do is say the word. I won’t let anything push me away.” I took a deep breath, making my decision. He pressed his lips a bit harder against mine and without thinking, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him on top of me as I fell backwards onto the bed. I leaned up a bit and slowly pulled my tank top off, throwing it to the floor. Time seemed to stand still as JC looked down at me. “Briley...” he began.

I replied in a whisper. “JC... I want this.”

He sat up again and sighed softly. “Briley, I understand what you mean about being scared of the physical part. I think that’s why we need to take this slow.”

“But-”

“Give me a second.” He sighed. “Briley, if you are serious about this, I think we need to give it more time. I think we need to stay in that ‘everything but’ catagory for awhile.”

“JC-” He leaned over and picked up my tank top, handing it back to me, remaining silent until I had pulled it back on.

He placed one finger over my lips. “Briley, I want to do this for you. Will you let me?” I slowly nodded as he leaned me back on the bed, letting the music be the only noise there.

He leaned over and kissed my forehead. “You looked so beautiful sleeping like that. I’m glad you’re awake. I couldn’t wait to talk to you.”

“About?” I asked.

“Last night,” he replied. I waited for him to keep talking. “I really liked... everything. Did you?”

I nodded. “Oh yeah.”

“I hope that I can eventually help you see that it’s not that scary.”

“I think you will.”

“Briley, thank you for sharing that with me. I know it wasn’t REAL sex, but it was close enough for me for right now.”

“Me too,” I whispered with a yawn.

“Are you still tired?” He asked.

“A bit...”

“Go back to sleep,” he replied, gently brushing the hair off my forehead. As he did this, I closed my eyes and drifted back into a peaceful sleep.

I woke up again and I smiled a little as I remembered the night before. I turned to look to see if JC was there and saw that he wasn’t. There was a note from him though and I picked it up.

Briley,
Thank you for the incredible night. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there when you woke up again, but we had to leave early for St. Louis. I love you so much and can’t wait to see you again.
Love,
JC

I smiled as I then noticed the clock and realized if I didn’t get out of there, someone would be barging in to clean, because as far as the hotel staff were concerened, those rooms were now empty. I quickly pulled my pajamas back on and left, stuffing the note into my pocket.

Once I reached campus, I ignored the stares of the people who were probably wondering why I was out in my pajamas. As soon as I reached my door, I heard the phone ringing and Emily answering it. I entered the room. “Oh, never mind... she’s right here.” Emily held out the phone to me. I took it, ignoring her lifted eyebrow.

“Hello?”

“Briley? This is Professor Rowland.”

“Oh... is everything okay?”

“Fine, fine. I just never heard from you about setting up review sessions.”

“I’m so sorry!”

“It’s alright. How does Tuesdays and Thursdays before class sound to you?”

“That’s fine.”

“How about we meet in my office an hour before class?”

“That sounds great. Thank you.”

“Briley, I also took it upon myself to set up a tutor for you.”

“Is that necessary? I mean, is it really going to be that tough of a bowl?”

“I think you could benefit from one, yes. He should be getting ahold of you sometime today, if he hasn’t already.”

“Alright. Thanks Mr. Rowland.”

“Not a problem. See you Tuesday.” He hung up the phone and I went to the closet, pulling out one of my uniforms.

“And where were you last night?”

“Where was I? Where were you?”

“I came in. Late, but I came in. Come on, details, details.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were transferring?”

Her mouth dropped a bit. “You heard the message?” I nodded. “I just wanted to find out for sure before I mentioned it.” I sighed. “But don’t change the subject.” She approached me and stared at me critically as I got everything out for work. “Let’s see... came in after being out all night in pajamas... the happy glow in your cheeks... I know for a fact the boyfriend was in town...” She looked me up and down. “You had sex with him, didn’t you?” I avoided her eyes and continued getting things ready. “Briley!” She exclaimed. “What about... what...?” She stuttered over her words.

“Listen...” I turned to face her. “I didn’t have sex with him. Granted, we are in the ‘everything but’ catagory, but no, I didn’t have sex with him.”

“Briley...” I turned to face her. “I’m happy for you, but... I just don’t want you getting wrapped up in something you can’t handle.” I just shrugged and headed for the bathroom. “Oh! By the way... Kyle called.” I slowly turned to her.

“What?”

“Kyle called this morning. Mentioned something about a history bowl and being a tutor. Says you need to call him.” I nodded dumbly and went into the bathroom. I sat on the edge of a the bathtub for a good ten minutes, just thinking on my current situation. School was getting tougher, being more intimate with JC, Kyle’s attention, Emily transferring... I was in over my head and not sure how to handle everything.

“But...” I set my head in my hands. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have applied to or something...”

“Briley... honey...” Emily began. “You’re going to be just fine without me. I just thought it was time to find a school with a better social work program and I wanted to be closer to home. You have wonderful friends, wonderful family, a wonderful boyfriend... girl, you are going to be great without me.”

I bit my lip and tried willing the tears not to fall. “But Emily... you’re my best friend.”

She looked down at the table. “Briley... you’re my best friend too... but this was going to happen sooner or later. I just needed something different.”

“Well, would you look at this?” Both of us looked up to see Kyle standing above us with a grin. “How are you two lovely ladies doing today?”

Emily looked down at her watch. “This one is late for a class.” She stood up, grabbing her backpack.

“No!” I exclaimed, grabbing her wrist. “You don’t have to go. You can skip.” I nodded enthusiastically, trying to get her to stay.

“No, she can’t,” Emily said with a smile. “I have to go. See you two later.” Emily left the student center. I was quiet until Kyle spoke.

“Well, I understand you need a tutor for history.”

“News sure travels fast, doesn’t it?”

“Well, no. Rowland contacted me about learning you,” he replied with a thick southern accent. He gave me a smile. I just stared at him, emotionless. “It’ll be painless, I promise.”

“I’m sure.”

He stayed quiet for a moment. “Why do you not like me?”

“I never said I didn’t like you.” I met his gaze. It’s not that I don’t like you, I thought. I just don’t trust myself with you. I was dying to tell him this, but I also knew it wouldn’t be a good idea.

“Then what’s your deal? Why do you treat me like you do? One second it’s like you can’t get enough of me, the next you wouldn’t touch me with a twelve foot pole.”

“I guess...” I thought. “You make me nervous. I have a boyfriend, and you are just so friendly...” That seemed like a safe enough way to phrase it.

“And you think that gives you reason to treat me the way that you do sometimes? That’s not the way it works Briley. If you want me to back off and keep this relationship completely platonic and business like, all you have to do is say the word.”

“I want this to stay platonic and business like.”

“Now, was that so hard?” He gave me another charming smile. I shook my head. “When is a good time for you to get together to study?”

“I work alot,” I replied.

He slowly nodded in thought. “So, why don’t you check out your work schedule and let me know?”

“I can do that.”

“Great.” He looked up at the clock on the wall. “If you will excuse me, I have a meeting to get to. Talk to you soon Briley.” Kyle stood and left, leaving me sitting, speechless at the table. I wasn’t quite sure how to react to what had just happened. Guys like Kyle didn’t give up so easily, that much I had learned. There had to be something that he wasn’t saying... he had to have something up his sleeve. And I was determined to find out what.

Three