I sighed. "Listen, Kyle-" I looked at him, narrowing my eyes in frustration. "Can we do this another time?"
"Briley, there's not that much time before you have to compete."
"So?"
"So-"
"Kyle, we have enough time. Please?"
He looked deep into my eyes. "What's the problem? Why don't you want to do this now?"
"Because my mind just isn't where it should be."
"Why isn't it?"
I slammed my pencil down, causing papers to fly all over the table. "Because! It just isn’t!" I stood up and started pacing. "Listen, I'm going through a whole lot right now and I really don't need the added pressure."
His eyes followed me back and forth across the room. "Is there anything I can do to help? Maybe take you out sometime?" He raised his eyebrows at me, wiggling them up and down slightly.
"Kyle, I told you, I'm not interested in anything more than business with you. Can't you let it go?" I stomped my foot in frustration.
"I was just kidding... geez, calm down. Now, come on, what is?" He gave me a grin.
"You wouldn't understand."
"What wouldn't I understand?"
"This. You just wouldn't get it."
I watched as he scooted a bit closer, the legs of the chair scraping across the floor. He reached up and took one of my hands into his own. "Briley, you've got to trust me. Treat me like you would your best friend." I opened my mouth to object. "What time do you finish work?"
"Eight."
"Great. I'll pick you up then and we'll go have a late dinner and you can make me understand." I slowly nodded. He then scooted the chair back, picked up his books, and stopped at the door. He opened it, and turned back to me. "Make sure you get your side work finished. I wouldn't want you to be late." He walked through the door and as it closed behind him, I was left with what was probably very confused look on my face.
"What just happened here?" I whispered to myself, unsure if this was the right thing to have agreed to.
Before the thoughts could go anywhere else, the door to the break room opened and one of the managers, Alan, stuck his head in the door. "Hey Briley? You planning on coming back to work sometime soon?"
"Uh, yeah... yeah, I'm coming," I mumbled as I quickly tied the apron around my waist once more. I followed him out the door, right on his heels. Alan suddenly stopped and turned, causing me to run right into his chest. "Oomph," I grunted as I hit him. I took a quick step back and looked at him.
"Oh, Briley... before I forget, you have a trainee coming in." I rolled my eyes. I didn't like being a trainer. It took up too much time and took away from the tips that I could be getting. "No, no, don't do that! Come on! Have fun with it! Torture the new hires!" I laughed. "Seriously, it'll be fine. Just hope he's a fast learner."
"He?"
"Yeah, he. Name's Craig Jernigan."
I nodded my head. "Fine." I moved past Alan and went into the room where we prepared drinks to clock back in. Melinda brushed past me to grab a couple of glasses.
"Hey Bri, you got a table." I spun to face her with a lifted eyebrow. "He just sat down. Table four."
I just turned without a word and went into the restaurant. I strode up to table four and leaned on it as always. "Welcome-"
"You really shouldn't lean over like that. Male chauvinist pigs such as myself might be tempted to glance down your uniform." My eyes flew from the order pad to Kyle's laughing eyes.
"Excuse me daddy, did I ask your opinion?"
"No, but I'm just trying to protect you from getting into something that you shouldn't be."
"Whatever, I'm a big girl, I think I can handle it just fine. Now, did you have a reason for still being here? I need to concentrate this evening. I have a new trainee."
"Well, after we finished studying, I realized I was starving. So, I thought, 'what the hell? I'm in a restaurant, I might as well eat.' I asked for a table, sat down, and here you are."
I sat down across from him at the table. "I don't believe a word that you are saying, but I really don't have time to go into it now. What can I get you?"
"Uh... let's see... maybe get off work earlier than expected tonight so I have more time with you?"
"But, if you are eating now, then us going out for dinner later is kind of pointless."
"So? We'll go for coffee or desert. No problem."
"Kyle, we talked about this. I have a boyfriend, I want to keep this platonic. You help me learn this history stuff, we don't talk anymore."
Kyle sighed. "Briley, just answer one question for me... what does... what's his name? The boyfriend?"
"JC."
"Yeah, JC... what does he have that I don't have?"
"Well, there's the... and the... well, he... the boy can sing. He makes me melt." I paused. "And then, there's the..."
"I'm right here Briley. He's not."
"And he... can you tilt your head to the side-" I snapped my head over towards my shoulder. "And make music start playing?"
Kyle looked at me as if I had completely lost it. "No."
"Oh... come to think of it, he can't either. But it would be cool, wouldn't it?" Kyle began to laugh and when I caught sight of his eyes, he stopped laughing. "Oh Lord..." I giggled. "Anyway, what can I get you?"
"You need to lighten up a little. You see, you were kind of cool just then, and you actually made a joke! However, I think you need to give the Spielberg a rest." He smiled over at me. "What you need is a night away from everything... a night on the town. I'm going to give you a night you'll never forget."
"Kyle-"
"AS FRIENDS," he emphasized.
I looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. "Okay, okay... eight it is. Now, what can I get you to eat?"
The next hour until the new hire showed up passed by in sort of a blur. Before I knew it, Alan was chasing me down with a young man following close behind. He caught up to me while I was waiting for some drinks from the bar. "Briley!" He said, slightly out of breath. "This is Craig. Train him. Train him good." Alan then pushed Craig towards me. I watched Alan rush away with a raised eyebrow. I then turned to the young man next to me.
"So, you’re Craig. Nice to meet you, I'm Briley."
"Actually, you can call me CJ. Everyone else does." I froze as I was reaching for the two drinks that the bartender was handing to me. I snapped out of my daze as the sound of glass breaking echoed around me. I glanced down at the floor at my feet to see the broken glass and liquid. "Let me guess... my first lesson is to never do that."
I turned back to the bartender giving him a sweet smile and he sighed, wiping his hands to make the drinks again. "Yeah... something like that..." This was all just a little too weird for my liking. I felt like I was cheating on JC with Kyle and suddenly this new guy shows up and asks me to call him CJ? Too freaky. I took a deep breath, turning and handing CJ the two drinks after the bartender remade them. "Anyway, come on and we'll see how you do. There's no real training... you just have to jump in and do it."
My mind began to wander as I listened to Craig greet the table and begin taking their drink orders. I glanced up to see someone leave the resturaunt, the door banging shut behind him. I narrowed my eyes at the familiar dark hair. It looked like JC... the walk was JC... even the posture. I shook my head to clear the thoughts. I had to be imagining things. JC was out on tour. He wasn’t here. I just had to stop letting my imagination run away from me.
“Interupting chicken w-”
“BAGOCK!” Kyle exclaimed, making me burst into laughter over the stupid knock knock joke.
“You are such a freak,” I replied once I stopped laughing, picking up my coffee cup to sip the cappuccino inside. I dipped my finger into the foam along the rim of the cup and put it to my mouth. The foam was the best part.
“Briley, can we talk? I mean, seriously talk? There’s something I’ve noticed about you.” I nodded. “First, I’m not a freak.” Kyle smiled at me, going back to the insult that I had bestowed upon him just moments before.
“Yeah, yeah... you’re just in denial.”
Kyle shook his head. “Second... you just have a few personality traits that I couldn’t help but notice... you don’t have very good self esteem, do you?”
“What makes you say that?” I questioned.
“Well, every time that I would say something to you, that would lead you to think that I was interested in you, you just kind of played it off. Like, you had to reply to the actual comment, but your body language showed that you didn’t believe a word that I was saying.”
“Are you this good at reading everyone?”
“Just girls. I think I was born with an extra part of the brain that helps me understand y’all.”
“Well...” I shrugged one shoulder as if it was no big deal. “I don’t.”
“Why not?”
“Simple... I’ve been used by guys before. I’ve been in the situations that have made me believe that women aren’t important... like we are only objects to be enjoyed and then thrown away. JC is the first guy I’ve dated that has treated me with any respect at all.”
“How many were there?”
“A couple. First, there was Steve, the guy who believed that you were friends, dating, engaged, or married. There was no exclusive dating step to him. To him, we weren’t even dating... we were friends who kiss. Then, of course, Jerry, who was just a bad mistake... broke up with me the second he found out that I wouldn’t sleep with him. But, that was fine by me, especially since I found out he was married right after he ditched me. And who could forget Chad? The one who lived an hour away and only called or visited when it was convenient for him.”
“So why didn’t you call him or visit him?”
“I called often. He wasn’t home very much... school and work. Because of some things that happened when my sister and I were younger, I wasn’t allowed to drive to see him without one of my two best friends. Anyway, needless to say that after all that, my self esteem had been crushed to subatomic level. It has actually come up alot since JC came around, if you can believe that.”
“If your self esteem was so bad, why is it that you were able to make the moves on JC? If you did, of course.”
“Lots of reasons... I didn’t ever really come out and say anything to him... it was what I didn’t say. I just threw a lot of hints his way and hoped he catch on. If he wouldn’t have returned the feelings, I wouldn’t have to see him face to face ever again.”
“What if he wouldn’t have figured out what you were trying to say?” Kyle asked.
"Had he not have caught on, I would have enlisted the help of our two best frie-" I was cut off as the phone rang. I grabbed my cell phone and answered it. "Hello?"
"Briley? Make her stop! Make it stop! You're the only one that can talk some sense into her!" Lance exclaimed into the phone.
"Lance? What's wrong? What's going on?" I asked, already worried that something bad had happened.
"Okay, you see... here's the deal... Kelly is here in Mississippi with me since she's traveling with us a little and we have a couple of days off and we went out to dinner with Meredith and her boyfriend... but you didn’t hear that. Well, out of nowhere, once we got back, Kelly comes off with this STUPID theory about me and Meredith."
"She thinks you're having an affair? I can totally see it."
"What?! No! Here, you just talk to her." I heard the phone being passed to Kelly.
"Briley, what did you say to him?"
"I just mentioned that he and Meredith are having an affair."
Kelly started to laugh. She laughed... and laughed some more. Finally, she quit laughing and was able to speak. "No, you see... here's the deal. I was sitting across from Meredith at dinner, and looked at Lance from the side... and noticed... just how much they look alike. So, I'm thinking that she's his sister. Ya know, dad is out of town or maybe good old mom is just ticked off at him for some reason. So, school's out for the day and suddenly, she notices the nice, young, attractive colleague, Mr. Edwards."
"Kelly?"
"Yes, honey?"
"Meredith is not Lance's sister."
"But, they look identical. Do you even know who I'm talking about? Meredith Edwards, not Brooks. She's not the 'Bitch' lady."
"Kelly, put Lance back on the phone." She sighed and the phone clunked. I knew that she had probably just threw it at him. I heard him pick the phone up. "Lance, how much have you let her drink? You know you have to keep an eye on her. You know she only comes up with these stupid theories when she inebriated."
There was nothing but silence. "When she's what?"
"Drunk Lance. Drunk."
"You know..." his tone turned thoughtful. "We did order a different kind of wine for dinner tonight... she really liked it... she had several glasses... you know, she is sitting on my bed... granted, I'm in the hall, but she IS on the bed..."
"Lance, don't even think about it."
"What? Don't you trust me with your best friend?" Lance sounded insulted.
"Lance, you live a majority of your year with four other guys in a small enclosed space. On the rare occasions that Kelly is around, I'm sure the hormones are screaming for some attention. Besides, might I remind you of the chair humping during the last tour?" I paused, letting him think. "Would you trust you with her?"
"Come to think of it... no..." Lance finally answered, pronouncing the words carefully and speaking slowly.
"That's what I thought. Now, I'm going to say goodbye, and I'm hoping you'll say it back. I'm on a business dinner right now."
"Yeah, I can take a hint. Thanks Bri babe."
"Lance, don't call me babe."
"Whatever you say... sweetie."
"Goodbye Lance." I pressed the end button on the phone and slipped it back into my purse. "Now, what was I saying?"
"What was that about?" Kyle asked, ignoring my question, a small smile prancing across his features.
"My best friend's boyfriend was feeling a little, out of sorts, when she came up with this strange theory on him and a country artist he is the manager for. Apparently, she wouldn't let it go."
"Are they having an affair?" Kyle asked with a slight laugh.
"No," I replied with a small giggle. "She thought that her boyfriend and the girl were brother and sister." I shrugged. "Anyway, what was I saying?"
"I don't remember," Kyle said, playing off the last true topic of conversation. He watched as I slowly took a bite of the sandwich I was eating. "So, are you a virgin?"
I choked on the bite I had just swallowed and took a drink of water. "Excuse me?"
Kyle laughed a bit at my reaction. "I'm just trying to get to know you. Isn't that something your friends normally know? Don't you talk about it with your best friends? With JC?"
"Well, yeah, but I don't even really know you."
"How do you expect me to get to know you if you don't talk?" Kyle raised an eyebrow in question. I suppose he had a point, but this was just getting weird.
"As a matter of fact, I am. And before you ask, I've been with my boyfriend for a little under a year."
"Seems kind of strange that you know, you two haven't done anything yet." Kyle shrugged and went back to his dessert. I lowered my head and could feel my cheeks burning. I slowly started to pick at the napkin lying beside the small plate. Kyle looked up, noticing my attitude. He smiled over at me. "So, some things HAVE happened?" I didn't answer. "Like what?"
"I don't think that is any of your business."
"But, you aren't putting out?"
"It's called having sex, thank you. Putting out just sounds dirty. And no, I'm not."
"Well, you do need to keep an eye on him. Guys traveling around the world, girls throwing themselves at him... he could get anyone he wants. You do realize that if he's not getting it from you, he's probably getting it somewhere."
I stopped with my hand halfway to my mouth. I just stared at him. I shook my head and started talking. "No. JC's not like that. He wouldn't do that to me."
"That's what every girl says right before she gets hurt."
I fell silent before taking some money out of my purse and putting it down on the table to cover a tip and my part of the dessert. "You know Kyle, I don't like where this is going. I'm leaving now." I got up and left, leaving him sitting in the booth. I got outside before I realized I was all the way across town from my car. Kyle had picked me up. I sighed and went back inside where he was sitting in the booth. "Take me to get my car," I demanded. "I don't like this."
Kyle slowly nodded. "I knew you couldn't stay away."
"Take me home now," I repeated, more forcefully this time, ignoring his last comment.
Kyle put his hands up in defense. "Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you." He gave me a sympathetic smile before I turned and left the resturaunt, him following close behind.
The phone rang. I picked it up. "Yes?"
"In the still of the night, I held you, held you tight..." A voice sang through the reciever.
"JC, what do you want?" I asked, not being able to control the grin that was slowly spreading across my cheeks.
"I missed you and wanted to call and say hi. We have a break coming up soon for a few days and I was hoping that I could come down and see you."
"JC, you know that I would love to have you here, but..." my voice trailed off as the heavy sigh came through the phone. "... as long as you don't mind me working a little while you're here, I don't have a problem with it. Not to mention all the studying that I have to do right now."
"No problems at all."
"Good. So, when will you get here?" There was a knock at the door. "Hang on," I told JC as I walked over to the door, still holding the phone. I swung the door open and there in front of me was JC.
"Right about now," JC said, shutting his phone off with a grin.
"Oh my God!" I exclaimed, literally jumping into his arms. He hugged my body closer to his and planted a kiss on my lips. "I can't believe you did that to me!" I exclaimed, slapping at him playfully. "That was so not cool!"
"I thought so," JC said softly, setting my feet back onto the ground.
"Now, what would you have done if I had said that you couldn't come down?"
JC shrugged. "I would have said, 'too late!' Then, I would have just walked into your room."
"And what would you had done if I had a guy in there or something?"
JC raised an eyebrow. "If YOU did?"
"I mean... Emily. What if Emily did?"
"Well, I did call first, so I would have known ahead of time," JC responded, giving me questioning glances. "And if YOU did, I just might be saying goodbye right about now..." I gave him a sweet smile. "You don't have anything to tell me, do you?" His expression turned serious.
"Oh my gosh, no!" I exclaimed. I motioned for him to follow me into the room, where I shut the door behind him. "JC, I would never, ever do that to you. You're too important to me."
JC slowly nodded as if he was convinced. "Yeah... sure." He slowly crossed the room and sat on the edge of the bed.
"So," I said, trying to think of something to say as I plopped down into my desk chair.
"Anything planned for this evening?" JC asked.
I shook my head. "Not a thing. Except studying. I just can't seem to get this history stuff. It's quite annoying." I gingerly massaged my aching head.
"Maybe you just need the right tutor," JC suggested with a simple shrug. My mind immediately went to Kyle.
"I have one," I slowly replied.
"I meant me," JC replied with a small chuckle. "Let me have your notes." I slowly handed him the bunch of papers stapled together and watched as his eyes slowly scanned the lines of writing. He took a deep breath. "What nickname did Thomas Jackson earn at the Battle of Bull Run and how was he killed?"
"Stonewall Jackson and he was killed because he was walking around the south's camp after dark and didn't know the password. He was shot by his own army."
JC nodded as he took off the hat he was wearing. "By the way, nice background music." I smiled hearing 'I'll Be Good For You' playing. I had been listening to No Strings Attached since the day it was released. "You would never leave me for one of them, would you?" I shook my head at him as if to say that he was a big freak. "You say no now, but what happens when one of those gorgeous pop stars starts coming onto you?"
"JC, shut up and read the next question," I said with a laugh.
JC shrugged. "Just wanting to make sure." He threw me a smile as he scanned the pages. "What was the Manifest Destiny and who completed it?"
"James K. Polk completed it and it was the belief that the United States was entitled to own all the land from the Atlantic ocean to the Pacific and from Canada to Mexico."
JC took off a shoe. "Why was Deborah Sampson a significant historical character?"
"She dressed like a man to fight in the American Revolution." JC removed his other shoe.
"Who were the Rappitts and who started the group?"
"George Rapp started it and they were the group who believed that the end was near, so there was no need for sex." JC took the polo shirt he was wearing off and it was then that it finally dawned on me what he was doing. Everytime I got an answer right, he took off one piece of clothing. A smile slowly spread across my face as the wife beater came into view.
"What policies did the Mormon church have that eventually got them into trouble?"
"That they could have more than one wife and that the men had to do missionary work."
"Who started them?"
"Joseph Smith."
"Where did they settle?"
"Utah."
"And who took them there?"
"Bringham Young."
JC smiled at me over the top of my notes as he removed a sock. "Who was Isabella Bumfree and what was her famous speech?"
"Sojurner Truth and the speech was 'Ain't I A Woman?'" JC took off his belt.
"Where was the major battle for Texas fought?"
"The Alamo." He removed his other sock.
"What got the nickname The Anaconda Plan?"
"The north's plan to win the Civil War." JC took his wife beater off and tossed it onto the growing mountain of clothes. I licked my lips as I watched the muscle play in his shoulders as he moved.
I stood up and moved to stand in front of him, taking the notes out of his hand and tossing them over onto Emily's desk. I slowly sat down on his lap, straddling his legs. I ran my hands through his hair as I stared into the deep blue depths of his eyes. I used my thumb to gently tilt his chin up to the right angle as I lowered my lips to his. As his lips probed into mine, I shivered a bit as I felt his cool hands touch the warm skin of my back as his hands slowly made their way under the thin material of my tank top. Just as the hooks of my bra were released, there was another knock on the door.
"Crap," I exclaimed as I jumped up, hurriedly fixing my bra. I smoothed my hair down as JC quickly began pulling his clothes back on. I hurried to the door as the knock came again. I barely opened it, only to see Kyle standing in the hallway. "Hi Kyle," I said as I stood in the small opening of the door.
He didn't reply for a moment. "Can I come in?" I shrugged and opened the door for him. He stepped into the room and his eyes landed on JC. "What's the deal Briley? You won't give me a chance, but you go for this guy?"
"Actually, yeah, that's exactly how it works. Kyle, this is JC, my boyfriend." A shocked expression passed over Kyle's features. "JC, this is Kyle, my history tutor." JC stepped forward and extended his hand.
"Nice to meet you," JC said, trying to be friendly to the new arrival.
"Yeah, whatever," Kyle answered, ignoring the outstretched hand. Kyle sat down in my desk chair. "So, I guess our study session is canceled, huh Briley?"
I slapped my forehead. "Shoot! I knew I was forgetting something!"
He shrugged and stood. "It's okay, I'm sure you and... JC... have some catching up to do." He winked at me as he walked to the door.
"No, it's okay... JC, you don't mind, do you?"
"Not at all," JC answered.
"See Kyle? We can still have our session. We just have an extra set of ears... and eyes... this time. No problem." I was hoping that he had caught onto my insistances that I would love to have JC there with us, hoping that would keep Kyle from trying anything. "We can go down the hall to the study room." I quickly gathered my books and papers and lead the two men to the room.
JC surveyed the room as Kyle and I sat down on the floor. "I'm going to go get something to drink. You two want anything?"
"No," I answered, using my eyes to beg him to stay. He didn't catch it though and just shrugged as he turned to leave.
"Which time period do you want to start in?" I asked, opening my notebook.
"I was thinking around the American Revolution." I nodded as I flipped the pages in my notebook to what I was looking for. "Who was the woman who wrote plays making fun of the British and how did she do this?"
"Mercy Otis Warren and she wrote names of British leaders backwards as her play characters." Kyle nodded.
"What's he doing here?"
My head jerked up. "Who?" I asked, my mind still on the Revolution.
"JC."
"He came to visit me. He said that he missed me."
"Oh, so he's just in town long enough for a quick f-"
"KYLE!" I exclaimed. I slammed the notebook shut. "First, even if that was why he was here, I don't see why it's any of your business. Second, I told you just yesterday that we don't have sex."
"Why else do you think he's coming around at unexpected times? Come on Briley... think about it. The guy just wants in your pants."
"This is ridiculous! I can't believe I'm even sitting here listening to this!" I shoved my papers back into my notebook, got up, and left the room. I ran into JC in the hall, who I ignored as I stomped back to my room. I slammed the door shut, JC coming into the room seconds after me. I slammed my things down on my desk.
"What's wrong?" JC asked, keeping his distance.
"Nothing. Nothing's wrong... I just... he just... stressed..." I stuttered, finally settling on just yelling to get my frustrations out. Then, I sighed in relief. "Now... can we get out of here?"
"In general, it's great. You saw it, you know how much there is to it."
I stared at him for a second. "I sense there's a but coming."
"You know me too well." JC threw a smile across the table at me. "Yes, I like it. Yes, it's great. Yes, we have tons of effects. But... I just don't know how happy I am with all this. The others... I don't know about them either."
"What do you mean?" I asked, taking a sip of water.
JC sighed. "It's just... so... big, ya know? Yeah, we've worked hard to get to this point, and yes, we deserve the success because of that, but sometimes I just wish all we still had was a small incline and a Christmas tree in a corner. It was just so easy to connect with the audience. Now, there's this definite separation between us and them. I want to be real to our fans... I want them to see me as a person. Not a celebrity. Not a God. Just Josh."
I nodded softly. "I've never heard you talk like this."
JC shrugged. "Sometimes I wish we could just play a small venue again or go to a movie and not get mobbed. I remember when we could walk around in public as a group and not even have security with us. That would be great to do again." JC shook his head. "I'm just talkin' crazy... don't listen to me."
"No, no... it's not crazy." I reached across the table and took his hand into mine. "Really. I completely see where you're coming from. Honestly, sometimes I wish it was still like that too. It's weird for us girls also... sometimes we wish our boyfriends weren't international sex symbols." I gave him a smile. "Seriously... just stick with it. I can guarantee that within a few years, the younger girls will move on to the next big thing, but the fans who matter, the ones who like you for the music, will still be there buying the CD's, buying the concert tickets. By then, you'll have gotten all this big stuff out of your system and you'll actually just be able to sit down and sing a ballad... you'll just be able to be yourselves. You'll be able to be Josh again."
"Now I remember why I fell for you in the first place. When was the last time I told you how much I love you?"
I narrowed my eyes in fake thought. "Only a few hours, but feel free to say it again." JC leaned over the table to set a soft kiss on my forehead as the small oriental woman brought our orders to the table. "Seriously... it'll work out. You five have worked really hard to get this far. You'll be able to be yourselves soon again. I promise. Especially with the new management. At least JIVE encourages you to be yourselves. Look how far you’ve come... this time last year, fans were barely allowed to know you date and now, the girls behind the boys get talked about." I gave him a smile.
"I hope you’re right," JC said softly as he picked up his chopsticks. The second that he took a bite, he stopped and his face got the glow of inspiration. "Do you have a pen?" He dropped his chopsticks as he grabbed a napkin. I reached into my purse and pulled out an ink pen and handed it across the table to him. He quickly began to scribble words on the napkin. Fifteen minutes later, he slid it across the table to me.
If I wasn’t a celebrity
Would you be so nice to me
If I didn’t have cheese like every day
Would you still wanna be with me
If I couldn’t buy you diamond rings
And all those other expensive things
Would you be so into me
If I wasn’t a celebrity
I read the words slowly, letting them sink in. "Is this how you feel?" I asked softly. JC answered with a nod. "I like it. It's good."
“Hold that thought... let me see that.” I gave him the napkin back. He drew a line under what he had already written and began to write again. A few minutes later, he handed it back to me. “The second bit will be a different song entirely. What do you think?”
We got the gift of melody
It doesn’t matter
‘Bout the car I drive what I wear around my neck
All that matters
Is that you recognize it’s just about respect
It doesn’t matter
‘Bout the clothes I wear and where I go and why
All that matters
“Wow... JC, I’ve never heard you talk about your life like this before. It’s... all I can say is wow.”
"The way I see it..." he paused. "Briley, why do you like me?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, why do you like me?"
"JC, I can say in all honesty and sincerity that I like you because of WHO you are... not WHAT you do."
JC nodded as if he accepted and believed my answer. "The way I see it, someone, even a fan, needs to like us for who we are as people, not the celebrity."
"But... you have to understand that you are never going to get out from under that celebrity title. There is always going to be someone who sees you like that."
"That's not what I'm saying. I’m not saying anything about people seeing us like that. You can see us as celebrities or you can see us as a regular person who is successful in their dreams. Honestly, none of those girls would like us quite as much if we weren’t ‘famous.’ To me, you can like me or you can like the celebrity. You can like Josh, the guy who grew up in a Maryland town, who does the same things that you do, who screws up just as much as the next person. Or you can like the celebrity... the person that people make me out to be. I want people to see us for who we are as human beings. I want to be a normal person with a really cool job." JC reached across the table and took my hands into his. "Briley, thank you for letting me live a regular life."
My eyes met his across the table and I wanted to cry at what was displayed there. JC was this regular guy who just wanted to be liked for who he was, not what he was. He was this honest, sincere man who just wanted to be loved. And there I sat, right across the table, knowing this, and not allowing myself to give him everything I had. I was letting Kyle take a huge chunk away from JC... and to be honest, I didn't know if I wanted it to stop.
“What?” I laughed.
“You just look so tired and all we did was jog from the elevator to the room.”
“That can really take alot out of someone... come on... I don’t keep in shape like you do... I don’t have choreographers on my case to make me and my friends dance our butts off for hours on end every day.”
“Hey! Technically, we don’t either, at least, not in the middle of the tours.”
“Oh yeah... I forgot. It’s that stick up your ass that turns you into a drill sergeant to make sure the others are like, superheroes in their energy supply.”
JC held up a hand in mock defense. “I blame it all on Wade. I was never like this until we started working with him. I’m telling you... it’s that cat’s fault.”
I lifted an eyebrow at his serious expression. “Excuse me? CAT?”
“You know... person... it’s jazz jive talk babe. I figured Justin was so successful with the ghetto I might as well go jive.”
“I see, I see... so... Wade shoved the stick up there? Should the gay rumors be about you and not Lance?”
JC stared at me. “What are you talking about?”
“Honestly? I have no clue. I just started talking and now, I can’t remember the original point to the conversation. Speaking of having a pole shoved up your butt, need I mention the Chris quote that says something to the effect of you having peaked at eight years old and now, all you want to do is sleep?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“I still have no clue.”
JC laughed. “Now I realize why we’re so compatible.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because we can both ramble on for hours and hours and never once make any type of point. Remember the first time I met your mom? I started rambling something about cowboys in space... where the hell that came from, I don’t know.”
“But, think of it this way... you have a good song because of that.”
JC sighed. “Yeah, but I must have been headtrippin’ that night.”
“Either that, or you just overdosed on the crack.”
JC looked at me, looking slightly hurt. “You have no faith in me, do you?”
I laughed. “No, I do... but... you just seem a little out there sometimes.”
“I am not!” JC exclaimed, pinning me beneath his body and beginning to tickle my ribcage.
“You are! If you can find a way to prove to me that you’re not on crack, I’ll let it all go.”
JC stopped tickling me for a moment and sat in thoughtful silence. He then simply reached over to the phone and dialed a series of numbers. Then, he began to talk. “JC, it’s JC. Call Johnny about a possible antidrug commercial... but not the dorky kind. The one about what your antidrug is.” He then hung up the phone and glanced over to find me staring at him.
“People on crack are the only ones that call and leave themselves messages.” I paused. “JC, do you hear little voices?”
He glared at me for a second. “You’re just jealous because they don’t talk to you too.”
A smile slowly spread across my face as I grabbed his neck and pulled him closer to me, pressing my lips against his. He sat back and looked at me after a moment. Neither of us said anything, rather, we used our eyes to say everything that needed to be said.
“Me neither... but you do know that the only reason you got that carnation is because it was actually being thrown to the handsome man next to you. His aim was just a little off.”
“Oh, so you are admitting your gayness? I suppose then that Wade really did shove the pole up your butt? You two really ARE special friends?”
“Man, shut up.” I laughed.
“Seriously... that is just too cool. I knew I was having a good hair day. It all paid off.” I gave him a smile as he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me a little closer. I leaned my head against his arm and deeply inhaled. I loved just being close to him. He was my knight. Liar! My head screamed. You know that you would much rather be with Kyle! I shook my head to ward off the invading thoughts and sighed.
“What is it?” JC whispered into my hair as we approached my car.
I shook my head. “I’m just thinking.”
“About... ?”
“Stuff. I just wonder about stuff.”
“Like what?” He pressed as he opened the car door and helped me inside. He then walked around the car and climbed into the drivers seat, starting the car.
“Like... do you believe that there is one person out there for everyone?”
“Yeah, I do. Briley, where are you going with this?”
“Well, I used to believe that. But I’m wondering now if that was a complete misconception. What if there is more than one person in the world for everyone? And what if both of them happen to be in our life at the same time? How do we know which person we should be with? What if there is one person, but we’re with someone else at the time, and we think the wrong person is our right person? What if we blow that chance of being with the only one that can make us happy?”
“Briley...” JC turned to me as he stopped the car in a traffic jam. “Do you think that we’re not meant to be? Tell me now. If you think you are wasting your time with me, I’ll drop you off at the dorm and you’ll never hear from me again. But, I need to know now.”
I took a deep breath and thought carefully about my answer. I didn’t know, but I didn’t want to lose him either. I finally settled on the answer that I knew would pacify him AND buy me some time to figure everything out. “No. I’m not wasting my time.” My outside answer, the one he heard, and the one I was thinking was two totally different things. I was torn between two men, and didn’t know which one I wanted, didn’t know which one was the right one for me... but Kyle was in my head, and JC was in my heart.
Disclaimer~ For story purposes, partial writing credit is given to JC for "Pop" and "Celebrity."
