After sitting without speaking for several minutes, A.J. breaks the silence.
He looks at me. "I'm sorry," he begins. "I didn't mean what I said. I don't want things to be worse for you... I'm just jealous because things are worse for me," he explains.
"Fine," I accept his apology coldly. "So are you going to be speaking at all?" I ask Nick, frustrated by his silent treatment. "Or are you still maintaining your 'space' from me even when we're stuck in the same room together?"
He looks at me angrily. "What do you want me to say?"
"I don't know! Something! Anything! You say we're not broken up but you won't even talk to me!"
"What did you expect, Ally?" he asks, raising his voice. "That you two would come clean about all this and everything would just be back to normal?!"
I don't respond.
Again the room is silent for a few minutes.
"Listen," A.J. says with frustration. "If Kevin isn't going to let us out of here until we put it all out there, then let's put it all out there. Let's just say what we need to say," he says firmly. "I'm SORRY. I really am. I'm sorry I betrayed you, Carolyn, I'm sorry I betrayed you, Nick, and Ally, I'm sorry I got us into this mess," he begins. He turns to Carolyn. "Carolyn, I still have feelings for you and I don't want us to break up." His eyes fill with tears. "But I understand if you feel like you can't trust me anymore." He pauses. "Nick, man, we've grown up together. You're like a brother to me. I don't want to lose that because of this." He turns to me. "Ally, to be honest," he says. "I'm really pissed off that when Nick said that you and I couldn't be friends anymore, you didn't seem to care," he says bluntly.
"I love how you said such sweet things to Carolyn and Nick and then when it comes to me you're like 'I'm really pissed,'" I say sarcastically, feeling really annoyed with him.
AJ throws up his hands in frustration. "Can we at least try to be mature about this?" he says bitchily.
"Fine, I'm sorry," I reply. "A.J, of course I cared," I say simply, but sincerely.
"Were you hoping she'd drop to her knees and beg me to reconsider?" Nick asks rudely.
AJ just rolls his eyes in response.
"I guess it's my turn then," Nick says reluctantly. "I feel like I don't even know you anymore, man," he looks at AJ. "Because brothers don't do shit like that to each other," he says sort of angrily. "And truthfully, everytime I look at you I want to bash your face in - "
"Nick!" I interrupt.
"What? We're being honest, aren't we?"
"It's fine," A.J. says, motioning for Nick to continue speaking.
"But, despite that," Nick continues, "I do want to forgive you... I just don't know if I can." He pauses then turns to me. "Ally," he begins. "I don't know if you'll ever know just how much you hurt me."
His words sting and I can feel my eyes well up.
"But I love you," he says, his eyes now watery too. "And I want to be with you, so I'm going to try to put this behind me."
He sits back in his chair. "That's all I've got to say," he says, motioning for someone else to take the floor.
Carolyn shifts in her seat. "I guess I'm next," she says quietly. She looks at A.J. and her eyes immediatedly water. "You know I love you," she begins, her voice cracking slightly. "I'm just so hurt right now... and so angry." She wipes a tear from her cheek. "I don't know if we have a future together, but I think that for now we need to be apart," she says sadly. She clears her throat and looks in my direction. "Ally, I really trusted you as a friend," she begins. "And you lied straight to my face," she says, her expression a mixture of sadness and anger. "And I hate the fact that you dragged Alissa into this and that I now feel betrayed by her as well." She takes a deep breath. "Only time will tell if our friendship can overcome this."
Carolyn's words for both AJ and I hit me hard and tears fall steadily from my eyes. I inhale deeply to compose myself but it does little good.
"I so desperately want things to be the way they were before all of this happened," I say, looking at all three of them. "You know, you make a mistake and you don't realise how deeply it's going to impact everybody - how everything is going to change."
I turn to Carolyn. "Carolyn, I am so sorry I broke your trust and I am so sorry I lied to you." I look her in the eyes. "When I first met Nick, I thought 'Wow, I really love this guy, but how can I leave my family and friends behind,' and you really helped me through that," I explain. "You welcomed me into your life with open arms and you quickly became one of my best friends. You're one of the best friends I've ever had... and I don't want to lose you over this."
She looks at me tearfully and I know she feels the same way.
"And please, don't be angry with Alissa. She just got caught in the middle because I asked her not to say anything. She wasn't on anyone's side," I explain.
Carolyn nods.
I look at A.J. "A.J," I chuckle. "Well, we certainly managed to screw things up nicely," I laugh.
He nods.
My expression grows serious. "I am sorry that we can't be friends anymore," I say sadly.
I pause before turning to Nick. "Nick," I say quietly, finding it difficult to speak. "I love you." I look into his eyes. "I love you with all of my heart. I am so sorry for hurting you, and for everything." A tear falls down my cheek. "I hate the way you look at me now... Like you wish you didn't love me so much so you could just let me go and not have to deal with this," I explain with tear-stained cheeks. "I pray that you can forgive me and that we can be as happy as we were before this whole mess got started."
He covers his eyes with one hand, fighting back tears.
We sit in silence for a minute or two.
"I guess we're done then?" A.J. asks, getting up from his seat. "We've said everything we need to say?" he asks, looking around the room. Nick, Carolyn and I nod as we get up from our seats and head for the door.
"Done," A.J. says nonchalantly as we walk past Kevin who is sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall, to return to our rooms.