Christmas was now in two days and the snow was not letting up. As our hotel was on a downtown street lined with stores, I had decided to brave the snow and go Christmas shopping. I was now on my way to Alissa's room to ask her if she wanted to come along.
I knock on the door and Howie answers.
"Hey Ally," he says, opening the door to let me in.
"Hey Howie," I say, walking into the room.
"Alissa!" I say, seeing her lying in bed. "What's wrong?" I ask, sitting on the edge of the mattress.
"The flu," she says weakly.
"She's pretty sick," Howie confirms, caressing her head lightly.
"Aww. I was coming to see if you wanted to go Christmas shopping with me, but I guess not!" I laugh. "Poor thing." I rub her back gently.
"So how'd it go last night?" she asks.
"It was pretty intense," I reply honestly. "Really emotional. We all got a lot off our chests though, and I think it really helped."
"Good," she smiles weakly.
"But I haven't seen Nick since last night. I guess he still wants his space," I say sadly. "Anyway, is there anything I can get you while I'm out?" I ask, getting up to leave.
"Nah," she replies. "Be careful in the snow," she cautions.
"I will," I laugh. "Feel better, Liss. Bye Howie," I say before closing the door.
I walk down the hall to the elevator and get in after pressing the button. The elevator lets me off in the lobby and I pull on my hat before leaving the hotel.
Outside snow is falling heavely and the sidewalk is covered in about a foot of white. The city is eerily quiet, with only a few cars and people out and about. I walk about a block to the first shop, a clothing store. Once inside I begin combing the racks.
"Hey," I hear a voice behind me say, and immediatedly recognize it as A.J's.
I turn around. "Hey," I laugh. "You startled me. I didn't see you in here."
"I was at the back. I saw you come in. You Christmas shopping?" he asks.
"Yeah," I reply. I take a deep breath. "A.J, I really shouldn't be talking to you," I say awkwardly.
He looks upset.
"You know I never thought you were the type to let your boyfriend tell you what to do," he says.
"A.J, that's not fair. What am I supposed to do? After what we did? If Nick doesn't want me hanging out with you do you really blame him?"
"No," he admits.
I smile meekly. "Maybe in a couple weeks he'll change his mind," I say optimistically.
"Yeah maybe," he says unconvincingly. "I'm gonna miss you, kid," he laughs.
"AJ, we're on the same hotel floor, we'll be on the same tour bus," I laugh. "You're not going to miss me."
He laughs but then his face grows serious. "I'm going to miss having you as a friend," he says sincerely and my heart almost breaks.
My eyes begin to water and instinctively I reach out and hug him tightly, even though I know I shouldn't. "I'll miss you too," I whisper.
That night as I'm finishing wrapping up the gifts I'd gotten for everyone a knock at the door interrupts me.
I open it expecting to see Alissa.
"Nick - " I say, pleasantly surprised to see him.
"Hey," he smiles.
I open the door wider and he comes in.
"Your room get taken over by Christmas elves?" he jokes, seeing the mess of paper and presents on the floor.
I laugh. "I was just finishing up for tomorrow," I explain.
He nods.
"About tomorrow," he says moving closer to me. "I wanted to give you this tonight," he says, handing me a gift wrapped in snowman paper. "Just 'cause it's kind of personal," he explains.
"I like the paper," I giggle, untying the ribbon. I sit on the edge of the bed and he sits next to me. I unwrap the small box and open the lid to find a white gold broken heart pendant hung on a chain. "Nick." I look up at him, tears welling up in my eyes. "It's beautiful," I say, taking it out of the box.
He smiles. "I've got the other half," he says, pulling the other half of the pendant, which hangs around his neck on a more masculine chain, from under his hoodie.
I put my arms around him and hug him tightly. "Thank you." A tear falls down my cheek.
"You're welcome," he says sweetly. "I mean, it's a bit corny, but I thought it sort of hit home for us after all that's happened." He pauses. "I mean, without you," he says sincerely, "I'm not whole."
I'm moved by his words. "Nick." We hug again. "I love you so much."
"I love you too, babe."
"And it's not corny," I laugh.
He laughs. "Good."
He helps me put the necklace on. Then I wipe the tears from my face and jump off the bed. "Here," I say, handing him a present from the floor. "Open yours."
He chuckles at my enthusiasm. "OK," he says taking it from me. I sit next to him on the bed. He unties the gold ribbon and opens the box. Inside is a beautiful silver frame. He takes it out of the box. Inside the frame is a photo of Nick and I and inscribed in the silver are the words, Home is Where the Heart Is.
He hugs me tightly.
"Who says we can't be home for Christmas?" I whisper in his ear. He pulls away and looks into my eyes. "I'm home because I'm with you," I say.
His eyes water. "I love it. Thank you," he smiles.
"You're welcome."
"Well this has been an emotional gift exchange," he jokes.
"Yeah," I laugh.
We lay down on the bed and look at each other.
"I've missed you these past few days," I say quietly.
"I've missed you too," he replies.
We sit silently for a moment.
"In a week it'll be a new year," Nick says.
I smile.
"We can put all this behind us and have a fresh start," he says deeply.
I nod. "Sounds good to me," I say softly, snuggling up in his arms.