All right kids, gather 'round! Every site has to have GENERAL INFORMATION about the thing it's idolizing, or else, anyone who doesn't know what the thing is can't be converted!! ...though I guess everyone knows what Pokemon is. (Even if they won't admit it!) But it's kind of a broad territory to tackle..."what is Pokemon?" Pokemon, they're, these little animal thingies and they live in these little red and white balls....and...there's a whole bunch of them. Yeah---like 300 something, nowadays. But, unfortunately, there's not enough time/space/energy to list a Pokedex or something like that, since there's only just me working on this thing. I'll tell you my favorite Pokemon, first:

OK, Jessie and James aren't Pokemon. We'll get to them later. And Meowth, while he's cool and everything, isn't exactly my favorite POKEMON (though he is one of my favorite CHARACTERS). (The caps help idiots figure out what words I'm placing emphasis upon.) I'm talking about the one in the cage, for lack of a better picture. Yeah, it's an Eevee, #133, or something. Anyway, that's my favorite Pokemon. But I guess there's really more things to say about Pokemon in general. First of all, maybe I should talk about the main characters from the series. Would you like that? No? You already know everything there is to know about them, do you??? Well, you don't know my opinions on them, you lovable scamp you, so sit down and shut up!
 

THE STARS: TEAM ROCKET

Yeah, yeah, I know I might be a little confused. Team Rocket are the bad guys. NOT TO ME! I believe that the three Team R members are given the most in-depth backgrounds and personalities of anyone on the show. Which is ironic, it seems. Jessie (Japanese name: Musashi) and James (Japanese name: Kojiro) are both kind of like living paradoxes: both are "evil" and want to steal Pokemon, but their incompetence and lack of real evil-ness constantly gets in the way. While Team Rocket claims to be evil and bad-ass, they all have big hearts (even if they try and keep that on the down-low) and actually care a lot about their team mates (as much as they try and hide it.) I think if they ever actually caught Pikachu, they'd be hesitant to take it to the boss. Jessie is the female Team R member; she's brash, opinionated, melodramatic, self-absorbed and domineering. Which is why I love her. I see myself in Jessie. She's the unofficial leader, by no means except for the fact that she completely dominates the other two, and has more of a capacity for real evil than James ever could. She comes from a poor and ungraceful background: her mother, Miyamoto, was supposedly killed on the job as a member of Team Rocket, and her family was dirt broke all of her childhood. She joined a biker gang and met James, and they ventured on to Pokemon Tech together, where they flunked out and then joined Team Rocket and met Meowth (Japanese name: Nyase). James, the male Rocket, tries overly hard to be evil but is actually just too tender-hearted to pull it off. In fact, it seems like he gets softer as the series goes on. While Jessie is a spitfire, James is more reserved, romantic, calmer, and more timid. But he's still quasi-evil and uber self-absorbed. But he has a big heart and he tries really hard to please the other two, specifically Jessie. Meowth is the former "top cat" of Giovanni, AKA The Boss. Sentenced to blunder after blunder with Jessie and James, Meowth takes it in stride, despite the fact that he probably has the biggest capacity to achieve evil. A former alley cat, he mastered the English language in order to earn the affections of a pampered Meowth named Meowsie (named so as to not confuse little kids.) This horribly back-fired, and next thing you know, Meowth has teamed up with the biggest cross-dressers on the face of the planet. (And yes, Jessie cross-dresses too; just not as much as James.)
 

THE SUPPORTING CHARACTERS: UH...THE REST OF THEM

Ash, Ash, Ash. (Japanese name: Satoshi). The token protagonist of the story also happens to be the token idiot! All right, he's not an idiot; he's just a bit slow to 'catch' (ahhaha, i kill me) on to things. He's self-righteous, annoying, immature, and obnoxious. He has a Pikachu, too, that Team R is desperately obsessed with snagging (snogging?). He's 10 years old, (uh huh, and I could see my mother letting my youngest brother roam all over the continent when HE was ten.) from Pallet Town. He's really not so bad of a kid, I mean, at least his heart's in the right place. We need more REAL kids with his determination. At the beginning of the series, he's more or less an idiot. As it progresses, he becomes more in-touch with his Pokemon (no, not THAT way) and...less of an idiot. Then he was, at least. But still an idiot. He seems to think he has a great understanding of Pokemon, but is really just confused. About everything. But then again, he is only 10. The lovely Misty (Japanese name: Kasumi), Ash's first accomplice, is a stereotypical lanky red-headed girl. Accused of being "scrawny" by fellow red-head Jessie, Misty is still actually quite pretty, and wows the entire crowd in cut episode "Holiday in Acapulco." (that is, of course, until James and his prosthetic boobies show up.) And of course she can actually Pokemon battle (though I was rooting for Jessie to win in the "Princess Festival" episode). Misty has seemed to have sprouted an unsightly growth while trekking around with Ash so long (Actually, it was just Togepi) and her maternal instincts kick in (albeit a little too early.) While being somewhat calmer, more rational and a lot smarter than Ash, Misty is still known to get a little hot-headed about stuff. And she's especially touchy concerning her awful home life (no thanks to her skanky sisers), her Psyduck (psy yi yi) and her looks (well, she is at an awkward age.) Misty may or may not have a crush on Ash--I think she'd be better with Brock (Japanese name: Takeshi), personally. She makes an appearance in the game and is actually the Gym Leader of the Cerulean City Gym. Though in the Johto League, Misty jumps ship (AKA abandons Ash and Brock, reminiscent of Brock ditching Misty and Ash to go "study" with Prof. Ivy) and is replaced by a girl named May (or should we say, Tracy-ette). (Down, Brock.) However, I have a gut feeling that Misty will definitely be back, despite the fact that she some how got her bike back. It was a touchy-feely moment for sure--but it's not like Misty really had a choice, with her sisters touring the world, someone had to watch the gym. Now it would only be appropriate to mention the token horny one, that is, Brock. Then Brock suddenly felt like he had to go home, too. I guess he figured it wasn't worth it so long as there was no females in the group. Now it would only be appropriate to mention the token horny one, that is, Brock.  Functioning as a mother-figure, Brock is the voice of reason and rationale most of the time. That is, unless there happens to be a pretty girl other than Misty, James or Jessie standing nearby (for some reason, discussed later, he is immune to their charms.). Brock will hit on any woman he happens to stumble across (as his eyes are perpetually shut, it makes it very hard to walk) . Young and old, married or not, no one is free from Brock's raging hormones. Officer Jennys and Nurse Joys are his most common targets, and they always shy away while saying something like, "Oh, won't you be handsome. In ten years." Basically, like the other Pokemon characters, Brock is stuck in a time warp that forces him to stay the same age that he was when the series started. Unfortunately for Brock, this place is mid-way through puberty. Besides having an insatiable lust, Brock is an excellent cook and even can mix his own Pokemon food. He's pretty generous and level-headed most of the time, and didn't even complain too much when he was replaced by Lard Bucket (I mean, Tracy.). And you know, there's a bunch of other characters too, involved in the show, like Professor Oak, Gary, Miscellaneous Gym Leaders, Snap (Todd), and of course Lard Bucket (TRACY!). But they're not important enough for me to exert time and energy to describe, especially since they have nothing to do with Team Rocket (except thinking that they're bad, bad people.) But I'm not DONE YET!

SUPPORTING ROCKETS: NO DIVAS, BUT NOT TWERPS

There's OTHER members of Team Rocket that make appearances in the show. Like the infamous Butch (Japanese name: Kosaburo) and Cassidy (Japanese name: Yamato). Quite the pair. Note the little picture. That's what happens when you only appear in three episodes! Well, they believe in "love power," but that's because they "love power!" Said to be one of the more competent pairs of Team Rocket, they aren't exactly loyal to fellow Rocketeers and land them in jail. Jessie and Cassidy have a rivalry that goes way back, because Cassidy is jealous of Jessie's beauty (according to Jessie.) Because of this little rivalry, Butch and James immediately have reason to hate each other, as everyone knows that partnership is thicker than blood (and gender) or maybe that's just the perfume of their respective lady-friends. In any case, Cassidy and Butch are actually EVIL, unlike Jessie and James. Perhaps our favorite drama (drag?) queens are jealous of the Cassidy/Butch dynamic duo, but I don't think they'd leave each other for anything. Similarly, I think Butch and Cassidy have lots of potential to actually steal Pikachu, but I think their plan would probably involve a bullet-wound in Ash's forehead and a smoking gun in Cassidy's hand (Butch would probably just have little pom-poms and a shirt that says, "CASSIDY" on it.). And while Ash is overly stupid and overly annoying, I think killing the twerp is a little extreme. But all's fair in love and war. And...power. Or something. Jessie and James's motto is better anyway. Of course, there's mention of Jessie's mommy, Miyamoto, apparently a star member of Team Rocket before she died in an avalanche trying to find Mew for Madame Boss (which was the leader of Team Rocket at the time and also Giovanni's (Japanese name: Sakaki) mommy. Apparently, Team Rocket is a mandated thing.) Personally, I think Giovanni is so scary it makes me want to wet my pants. He sometimes gets a little upset (ok, a LOT upset) at our Jessie and James, mainly because everything they do seems to backfire horribly. As Giovanni barks on the CD, "You're just the players, in my master plan!" I assume that means that he's got everything under control. Well, if you put aside that entire giant debacle with Mewtwo. But he should have known better than that. Oh, and there is that episode in the series when Giovanni leaves Jessie, James and Meowth in charge of the Viridian City Gym (apparently something was going on with Mewtwo----see giant debacle comment) but of course Pikachu had the amazing ability to thundershock all present Pokemon (including the rock ones) and win in one, mighty fell swoop. Yeah, that's believable. Hmm...have I got everyone? Oh, yeah, there is a kid named Mondo, apparently who serves as Jessie and James's little lackey, but he only appears in a Japanese CD drama. It is mentioned that he really helps the two of them out, and has a giant crush on Jessie, to boot. Not that it's hard to see why. Jessie's hot stuff; even I want her! (Well, you know, except that's impossible, seeing as she's a cartoon character. Maybe her voice actor? "Ohh, that's right baby. Talk to me in the Jessie voice.") Anyway, you know I'm kidding. Kind of. Well, that's that! Enough describing fictional characters, I think I'll go out and get drunk* now!

*note: getting drunk is very, VERY bad, and no one should do it ever.