Here at Vote Lard H.Q, we know youre sick of having a moronic old man like Bush in office, and that you didnt want a fool like Al "Mr. Charisma" Gore as the most powerful man in the world..so were here to provide an alternative!
So who is this mystery candidate? Well ladies & gentlemen, let me introduce you to your next president, This 250g Block of lard!!!!
The Lard/ÐÈÂðWÎÑG administration likes to keep its policies simple, therefore, we dont have any!!
Thats right, no policies means YOU dont even have to worry about what our standpoints on issues such as gun laws, Education etc. are! And if you dont have to worry about it, its not a problem!
Lard only has one goal when it reaches office. Legalisation of EVERYTHING. Robbery, murder, prostitution, Etc. will ALL be legalised, thus eliminating all crime overnight! Following Amsterdam's example, the intoduction of "drug cafes" will begin, followed by "murder cafes", "prostitution cafes" and eventually "robbery cafes", Cafes built solely for the purpose of being robbed
Just think of it people, by voting Lard, you're saying "Yes! I want to live in a crime free utopia, ruled by a 250g block of Lard!" you know it makes sense.
Sure, Lard has'nt been voted into office YET, but heres what Lards inaugral ceremony will look like
