Nick went through all of his bills,"I have money to pay them but God I just don't feel like it. I don't want to deal with any of this. Why can't I just dissapear?"

Nick threw his bills in the trash and walked to his bunk. It seemed all he wanted to do these days was stay in bed and sleep. If he could sleep. Nightmares followed him everynight.

He knew he had to pay his bills, he was never late on them. What's the point? They are just theives. All they want is money..money..money. I'm sick and tired of paying everyone for everything.

"Hey Nick.."

Nick sighed,"Yes Brian?"

"Did I do something to make you mad?"

Nick opened up the bunk's curtain,"No Brian you didn't do anything."

Brian stood there,"Is there something wrong? You can tell me you know?"

Nick ran his fingers through his hair,"I know but really there is nothing wrong."

Brian tried to look at Nick, to figure out his facial expressions. All was blank.

Before Brian could say another word, Nick closed the curtain.

Nick woke up from yet another bad dream. Why can't they just leave me alone? I can never sleep anymore.

Nick got up and walked to the back of the bus and flipped on the tv. He layed down on the couch going through the channels. More infomercials than anything.

Finally he settled on a movie that he didn't pay attention to. He was too lost in his thoughts.

Why can't I just sleep one night through? Why the nightmares? Why can't I just have a little peace? Being awake is bad enough during the day. Just let me sleep a little during the night.

What's wrong with me? Why do I not want to do anything? I don't even feel like playing a game, singing, nothing.

Nick wiped at his tears, feeling as though he had no control over anything.

I can't keep treating people bad. They will know something is wrong. But I can't act like I care when I don't. It's just too hard. God Brian must think I've lost it. He'd be right though.

I have lost it.